For a lot of moms, especially first-time moms, returning to work after maternity leave is often hard and it can be a struggle to manage work and family responsibilities.
Dr. Maried Celkis, who recently returned from parental leave, will give advice on making the transition back to work and trying to find a realistic work-life balance.
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Tips On How To Become A Working Mom After Parental Leave
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Learn more about Maried Celkis, MD
Maried Celkis, MD,- Family Medicine
Maried Celkis, MD, is a busy mom to two young children as well as and a family medicine doctor practicing at the Allina Health Oakdale Clinic. Her professional interests are in pediatrics, preventive care and women's health.Learn more about Maried Celkis, MD
Transcription:
Tips On How To Become A Working Mom After Parental Leave
Melanie Cole (Host): For a lot of moms, especially first time moms, returning to work after maternity leave is often hard and it can be a struggle to manage work and family responsibilities. My guest today is Dr. Maried Celkis. She's a busy mom with two young children as well as a family medicine doctor practicing at Allina Health Oakdale Clinic. Welcome to the show, Dr. Celkis. You're a busy woman.
Dr. Maried Celkis (Guest): I am.
Melanie: Being a physician, a family medicine physician, and being a mom of two young children, how do you get back to work after just having your baby, how soon do you recommend women do it, and what's your best advice about getting back into it?
Dr. Celkis: Yes. Hi. That's a good question. So how, let me unpack it. So, when do I advise for moms to go back? You know, the legal standpoint is at least six weeks that they have to be given maternity leave and that's really per the person's job. A lot of times, you can do all the way until 12 weeks, but it just depends on how much you’ll get paid as far as a paid leave of absence. So, it's really the mom has to figure that out with the boss and do what's best. I don't recommend anything that's less than six weeks, for sure. While you're getting ready to go back to work from maternity leave, there are a lot of things that the mom can do to get kind of mentally ready and get her body even physically ready to go back to work. So, during maternity leave it is important for her to stay active as best she can, knowing that if she had a C-Section or even if she had a normal delivery, it takes time for the body to heal; and making sure that she gets plenty of rest, drinks plenty of water, and then gets on a good pumping schedule if the mom is nursing.
Melanie: That's good information, good advice. Are there some steps--I'm going to back up a little bit--that you should take before going on maternity leave that you want women who work to do and to know?
Dr. Celkis: Yes, kind of like I said before, getting on a pumping schedule. It is important for you to be able to know how to use a breast pump, and it's important for you to get on a schedule because your body's just going to react to that and you're going to pump at the same time every day. It makes your maternity leave easier; it makes work easier, if you're just kind of on a scheduled pump time and also it's important to give the baby a bottle before you go to work because you're not going to be there anymore to nurse the baby and it takes a couple days for the baby to get used to that bottle--to the new bottle--as opposed to mommy. So, it's a very good idea to get all that stuff done before you head back to work.
Melanie: And how do you manage going back to work when you're exhausted from six weeks with a new baby? How do you concentrate at work? What advice do you have for moms?
Dr. Celkis: That's a very hard question and what I would say is, again, touching base on the pumping. If you are able to pump at a scheduled time and you know that your child is getting nutrition while you are at work, that takes the stress off and you are able to concentrate better at work because you know your child is at least being taken care of and is being well fed. So, I feel like if you feel comfortable where your child is at, you're going to be able to perform your duties at work. Another advice is getting partner involved. Once you go back to work, it is important to get as much sleep as you can and help with a newborn they get up a lot in the middle of the night. So, since, hopefully, you're pumping at this time, give daddy the bottle, he can take care of the baby so you can at least get more sleep that way and you're going to have to take turns.
Melanie: What about those feelings that you get, of guilt? I am a working mother myself and if all the feeding situation has worked itself out, what do you tell women about the guilt that we feel going back to work and looking at women in the fifties that stayed home with their babies?
Dr. Celkis: Yes. That's a good question and that's a hard question to answer. I guess what I would say is one, everyone feels those feelings. Every mom has felt them, I have felt them. It is hard to leave your child and, as a woman, to leave your own children behind, I don't think any mom doesn't have those feelings. So, it's just to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel those feelings. It's fine. I would say if you know that your child is well taken care of, you at least have a little less guilt if they're at a good daycare or you have a good nanny, or grandma and grandpa are taking care of them. That helps a lot with the guilt. Lastly, you are doing it to provide for your children. So, be proud. Be proud that you are a working mom. They will see that and they will see the work ethic from you when they get older and they will be proud of you. So, you be proud of them and set an example of what it is to be a good, working, adult citizen.
Melanie: I agree with you completely, Dr. Celkis. I think that it does set a good example and you're doing it for your children and for yourself because some women, such as you and me, we probably love what we do and it gives us a sense of self. So, getting past that guilt and what about, as you say, the exercise and getting ourselves back into shape as we're doing that. How much do you recommend?
Dr. Celkis: You know, it's still recommended at least 30 minutes a day, if at all possible. Now, with small children, I know this is hard. It's something I, myself, even struggle with when you have a baby that gets up every other hour, it's hard to be like, “Okay, let's go exercise!” But, you know, this could be small things like even putting the baby in the stroller and going for a walk. It is so important for your physical health and your mental health to get out and exercise.
Melanie: Where should you turn if you need more help? Who would you go see if you were feeling those feelings of guilt; you were feeling the stress, the exhaustion? All of these feelings we've been talking about.
Dr. Celkis: Yes. So, you can for sure see your family doctor. But, if you don't feel like you need to go see your doctor for that, turn to any mother that is around you. They know exactly what you're going through. These feelings are not new, everyone experiences them. Turn to your sister, your girlfriends, your mother. They will understand and will be there for you.
Melanie: That's absolutely great advice. In the last few minutes, give us your best advice as women for preparing for that maternity leave: finishing up your work, knowing that you're going to have a baby any week now and then going on maternity leave and then going back to work afterwards.
Dr. Celkis: Sure. So, the weeks before you leave for maternity leave, it's busy, and it's exciting because you're about to have a baby. So, I would say, sleep is still crucial. Still get plenty of sleep, even before the baby comes because you're going to be sleep deprived once the baby comes. But, as far as work, make sure that you leave everything done. Every day before you go home, make sure there are no messages that you need to get back to, no emails that you need to reply to; your desk is clean. Just make sure that everything is done, so if you don't come back--because we don't know when that baby is coming--if you don't come back the next day because you had a baby, you don't have to worry about it. You can just enjoy the experience of giving birth and having a brand new baby and not even think about work while you are on leave because that's the time to be focusing on that brand new baby.
Melanie: That certainly is great advice and I applaud you and returning to work as a family physician. It's not easy for mothers out there. Thank you so much, Dr. Celkis. You're listening to The WELLcast with Allina Health. For more information, you can go to AllinaHealth.org. That's AllinaHealth.org. This is Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for listening.
Tips On How To Become A Working Mom After Parental Leave
Melanie Cole (Host): For a lot of moms, especially first time moms, returning to work after maternity leave is often hard and it can be a struggle to manage work and family responsibilities. My guest today is Dr. Maried Celkis. She's a busy mom with two young children as well as a family medicine doctor practicing at Allina Health Oakdale Clinic. Welcome to the show, Dr. Celkis. You're a busy woman.
Dr. Maried Celkis (Guest): I am.
Melanie: Being a physician, a family medicine physician, and being a mom of two young children, how do you get back to work after just having your baby, how soon do you recommend women do it, and what's your best advice about getting back into it?
Dr. Celkis: Yes. Hi. That's a good question. So how, let me unpack it. So, when do I advise for moms to go back? You know, the legal standpoint is at least six weeks that they have to be given maternity leave and that's really per the person's job. A lot of times, you can do all the way until 12 weeks, but it just depends on how much you’ll get paid as far as a paid leave of absence. So, it's really the mom has to figure that out with the boss and do what's best. I don't recommend anything that's less than six weeks, for sure. While you're getting ready to go back to work from maternity leave, there are a lot of things that the mom can do to get kind of mentally ready and get her body even physically ready to go back to work. So, during maternity leave it is important for her to stay active as best she can, knowing that if she had a C-Section or even if she had a normal delivery, it takes time for the body to heal; and making sure that she gets plenty of rest, drinks plenty of water, and then gets on a good pumping schedule if the mom is nursing.
Melanie: That's good information, good advice. Are there some steps--I'm going to back up a little bit--that you should take before going on maternity leave that you want women who work to do and to know?
Dr. Celkis: Yes, kind of like I said before, getting on a pumping schedule. It is important for you to be able to know how to use a breast pump, and it's important for you to get on a schedule because your body's just going to react to that and you're going to pump at the same time every day. It makes your maternity leave easier; it makes work easier, if you're just kind of on a scheduled pump time and also it's important to give the baby a bottle before you go to work because you're not going to be there anymore to nurse the baby and it takes a couple days for the baby to get used to that bottle--to the new bottle--as opposed to mommy. So, it's a very good idea to get all that stuff done before you head back to work.
Melanie: And how do you manage going back to work when you're exhausted from six weeks with a new baby? How do you concentrate at work? What advice do you have for moms?
Dr. Celkis: That's a very hard question and what I would say is, again, touching base on the pumping. If you are able to pump at a scheduled time and you know that your child is getting nutrition while you are at work, that takes the stress off and you are able to concentrate better at work because you know your child is at least being taken care of and is being well fed. So, I feel like if you feel comfortable where your child is at, you're going to be able to perform your duties at work. Another advice is getting partner involved. Once you go back to work, it is important to get as much sleep as you can and help with a newborn they get up a lot in the middle of the night. So, since, hopefully, you're pumping at this time, give daddy the bottle, he can take care of the baby so you can at least get more sleep that way and you're going to have to take turns.
Melanie: What about those feelings that you get, of guilt? I am a working mother myself and if all the feeding situation has worked itself out, what do you tell women about the guilt that we feel going back to work and looking at women in the fifties that stayed home with their babies?
Dr. Celkis: Yes. That's a good question and that's a hard question to answer. I guess what I would say is one, everyone feels those feelings. Every mom has felt them, I have felt them. It is hard to leave your child and, as a woman, to leave your own children behind, I don't think any mom doesn't have those feelings. So, it's just to know that you're not alone and it's okay to feel those feelings. It's fine. I would say if you know that your child is well taken care of, you at least have a little less guilt if they're at a good daycare or you have a good nanny, or grandma and grandpa are taking care of them. That helps a lot with the guilt. Lastly, you are doing it to provide for your children. So, be proud. Be proud that you are a working mom. They will see that and they will see the work ethic from you when they get older and they will be proud of you. So, you be proud of them and set an example of what it is to be a good, working, adult citizen.
Melanie: I agree with you completely, Dr. Celkis. I think that it does set a good example and you're doing it for your children and for yourself because some women, such as you and me, we probably love what we do and it gives us a sense of self. So, getting past that guilt and what about, as you say, the exercise and getting ourselves back into shape as we're doing that. How much do you recommend?
Dr. Celkis: You know, it's still recommended at least 30 minutes a day, if at all possible. Now, with small children, I know this is hard. It's something I, myself, even struggle with when you have a baby that gets up every other hour, it's hard to be like, “Okay, let's go exercise!” But, you know, this could be small things like even putting the baby in the stroller and going for a walk. It is so important for your physical health and your mental health to get out and exercise.
Melanie: Where should you turn if you need more help? Who would you go see if you were feeling those feelings of guilt; you were feeling the stress, the exhaustion? All of these feelings we've been talking about.
Dr. Celkis: Yes. So, you can for sure see your family doctor. But, if you don't feel like you need to go see your doctor for that, turn to any mother that is around you. They know exactly what you're going through. These feelings are not new, everyone experiences them. Turn to your sister, your girlfriends, your mother. They will understand and will be there for you.
Melanie: That's absolutely great advice. In the last few minutes, give us your best advice as women for preparing for that maternity leave: finishing up your work, knowing that you're going to have a baby any week now and then going on maternity leave and then going back to work afterwards.
Dr. Celkis: Sure. So, the weeks before you leave for maternity leave, it's busy, and it's exciting because you're about to have a baby. So, I would say, sleep is still crucial. Still get plenty of sleep, even before the baby comes because you're going to be sleep deprived once the baby comes. But, as far as work, make sure that you leave everything done. Every day before you go home, make sure there are no messages that you need to get back to, no emails that you need to reply to; your desk is clean. Just make sure that everything is done, so if you don't come back--because we don't know when that baby is coming--if you don't come back the next day because you had a baby, you don't have to worry about it. You can just enjoy the experience of giving birth and having a brand new baby and not even think about work while you are on leave because that's the time to be focusing on that brand new baby.
Melanie: That certainly is great advice and I applaud you and returning to work as a family physician. It's not easy for mothers out there. Thank you so much, Dr. Celkis. You're listening to The WELLcast with Allina Health. For more information, you can go to AllinaHealth.org. That's AllinaHealth.org. This is Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for listening.