The Superwoman Syndrome: Learning To Accept Help
Written by Melanie Cole, MSSo I would like to offer some bits of information on making it all come together with out driving yourself nuts.
First thing is..ENLIST THE HELP OF YOUR SPOUSE.
Too many women think they are an island. We cannot, I repeat cannot, do it all alone. If you are a single mother - especially - you have to enlist the help of others. I know many of you are saying to me, "but they don't do it right, or the way I would do it".
Well yes, that is true. However, one thing I have learned is...
wait...still trying to learn.... haha...
....is you can not control the way other people do things for you. Yes we certainly try, and its frustrating that other people can't do things as well as we can. But we must learn to settle down and take the help that is given.
When that help is a husband that folds the laundry poorly, or puts the clothes in the wrong drawers, or feed the kids junk food on his night to feed them, or a miriad of other punishable crimes...try...try...try...not to spew vitriole on them. Strangely, people seem to find that ungrateful.
And it also leads them say the inevitable "well if you don't like the way I do it then don't have me do it!"
Also, it can really add to your work load if you always feel the need to redo everything.
My friends laughed at me when they heard this is what I was writing about. They said "oh Mellie, you always try to control the way other people do stuff for you."
But I admit nothing. I just like things the way I like them. Order is comforting. When things are just so, it feels as if we have some control of our little worlds and that they won't go spiraling out of control.
So all together let's say..."we can let others help us...We will not criticize the way in which that help is given..(ok except when its truly awful) and we will say thank you and give the person helping us the respect and kudos that they deserve."
We can do this!
Melanie Cole, MS
Melanie Cole, MS, is the RadioMD Director of Operations. She has a Master of Science in Exercise Physiology/Kinesiology.
Melanie is the host of Healthy Children (in partnership with the American Academy of Pediatrics) and Life's Too Short (with the American College of Sports Medicine) here on RadioMD. Melanie also conducts seminars and lectures nationwide on nutrition, stress reduction, balance, posture and a wide variety of health related topics. She has been featured in Shape Magazine, Inside Sports, Lerner Newspapers, and many more.
Additionally, Melanie is a practicing exercise physiologist/ personal trainer with a client retention rate of 20+ years. Nearly unheard of in the world of personal trainers.
She has been married for 19 years to a wonderful man, Gary, and has two incredible kids, Clayton and CeCe. You can contact Melanie at: Melanie@RadioMD.com