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Grandparenting 101 – What You Need to Know
Cathy Nurkala BSN, RN covers the do's and don'ts of grandparenting.
Featured Speaker:
To register for a Grandparents Class, visit BayCareEvents.org
Cathy Nurkala, BSN, RN, CPCE, CLC
Cathy Nurkala, BSN, RN, CPCE, CLC is a certified professional childbirth education and a certified lactation counselor. She began working for BayCare in 1992 and has been a childbirth educator at St. Joseph’s Women’s Hospital since 1993. In fact, Ms. Nurkala was actually born at St. Joseph’s Hospital when it was located in Ybor City! Ms. Nurkala has her bachelor’s degree in psychology and her Bachelor’s in Nursing, both from Florida State University.To register for a Grandparents Class, visit BayCareEvents.org
Transcription:
Grandparenting 101 – What You Need to Know
Melanie Cole (Host): We all know being a parent can be hard. But they say being a grandparent is fun. But how can you be the best grandparent that you can be? Here to tell us that today is Cathy Nurkala. She's a Registered Nurse in childbirth Education at BayCare. Cathy, I'm so glad to have you with us and as I'm not a grandparent yet, because my kids are still teens; I look forward to being one, one day. What are some of the benefits of grandparenting for the grandparent, and the grandchild and the parents?
Cathy Nurkala, BCN. RN, CPCE. CLC (Guest): Well research has shown that the benefits for grandparents include a decreased risk of depression and increase in brain function and immunity and also a sense of importance and belonging. Grandchildren also benefit from a decreased risk of depression. Grandchildren develop the sense of family history and culture and studies have actually shown that children that have a close relationship with their grandparents have more positive interactions with their peers, more compassion for others, more involvement in school and they are more confident. And then parents can benefit from the help, support and understanding provided by grandparents and also parents gain comfort in the knowledge that someone loves and cares for their child.
Host: What a great way to put it. Because for parents, it is soothing to know that you've got your parents you can go and ask questions about things and check on things and certainly for the grandchild. I know how my kids are with their grandparents. It's such a special relationship and different than the parents. So, as grandparents go, and there is no rulebook, give us some of your best do's and don'ts of grandparenting. What's the best way to be a good grandparent?
Cathy: Well one do is to be clear about what you are willing to do as a grandparent and don't allow yourself to be talked into doing something you don't want to do.
Also, you do want to ask how you can help but don't offer unsolicited advice, criticism or interfere with their parenting style. You do want to choose a good time to visit the new grandchild whether it's in the hospital or at home. It's good to call first. And don't invite yourself over all the time. And ask permission if you are bringing extra guests.
Also, you do want to keep things positive. Keep opinions to yourself. Don't react negatively if the child looks different than what you were expecting, or you don't like the baby's name. You do want to rejoice in the birth of your grandchild but don't announce the birth to family or friends before the parents do. Don't take pictures or post information on social media without permission.
Host: That's really great advice. And I'm sure parents appreciate that advice Cathy completely. Because it's not the grandparents role to put those pictures on before the parents have had a chance. Now you mentioned not showing up all the time and all of this great advice but what if you disagree with your parent, what if the grandparents and the parents disagree on discipline or behavior and the grandmother says well, I never would have let you get away with sitting in front of the TV for four hours. What then?
Cathy: Well grandparents, they do need to trust the parents to parent their child. And they need to respect the choices the parents make. Also, if the grandparent really strongly disagrees with a parent's parenting style, they do need to kind of choose their words carefully, be diplomatic. Sometimes, too, grandparents might feel that they should have a say in parenting matters if they are contributing to their grandchild's welfare financially, but that does not though give them the right to do so. They have to let the parent, parent their child.
Host: Absolutely true and not always easy for grandparents to let that roll the way that it should and to trust their children because they've already been through it but you're right, you're exactly right. So, now grandparents today may not have the same information that new parents have, sleeping, safety, car seats, things like that. What should grandparents know that they may not have known 20 years ago?
Cathy: Well, one thing about sleeping is that grandparents do need to know about the ABCs of safe sleeping and that means that the baby sleeps alone, on their back, in a crib. And it's a crib or bassinette. But it's a crib that doesn't have any other – no blankets or pillows or sleep positioners or crib bumpers or stuffed animals in the crib. It's just an empty crib. Also grandparents should never sleep in a recliner or on a couch or in a bed with the grandchild. And for safety, grandparents do want to make sure they baby proof their house. They also want to learn infant child CPR. They should get a DTAP booster.
That's a booster for diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. Pertussis especially in Florida – we've lots of cases of pertussis so they want to make sure they get their booster to protect their grandchild. They also want to make sure that they use car seats and booster seats when transporting their grandchildren and also grandparents don't want to smoke or vape or drink while caring for the grandchild.
Host: That's so important that you pointed out that they need to make sure to use those safety features because they are available now. So, grandparents are special. Tell us how they play this really positive role in the whole family.
Cathy: Well to quote a person who sums it up perfectly, this quote is "what children need the most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life and most importantly cookies."
Host: I love that. Wow. That's just fantastic. So, as we wrap up. Tell us about the grandparent class through BayCare. What can families expect from the class?
Cathy: Well the grandparenting class is a very interactive class that involves a lot of lectures, videos, hands on activities. We talk about topics including changes in childbirth and hospital care, how to support the parents and also the newest recommendation, the baby care.
Host: And how does somebody find out about that and enroll?
Cathy: What they can do is go on our website www.baycareevents.org and then fill in the search box for the grandparenting class.
Host: Thank you Cathy. What great advice and what a lovely segment because I know how my kids are with my parents and I just think it's so lovely. Thank you so much for coming on and giving us such great useable tips for good grandparenting. And that wraps ups this episode of BayCare HealthChat. To register for a grandparents class visit www.baycareevents.org and search grandparents for more information and to get connected with the program. If you found this podcast as cool as I did, please share with your friends and family, share all this great information that Cathy gave us today because that's how we all learn together. And be sure not to miss all the other fascinating podcasts in the BayCare library. Until next time, I'm Melanie Cole.
Grandparenting 101 – What You Need to Know
Melanie Cole (Host): We all know being a parent can be hard. But they say being a grandparent is fun. But how can you be the best grandparent that you can be? Here to tell us that today is Cathy Nurkala. She's a Registered Nurse in childbirth Education at BayCare. Cathy, I'm so glad to have you with us and as I'm not a grandparent yet, because my kids are still teens; I look forward to being one, one day. What are some of the benefits of grandparenting for the grandparent, and the grandchild and the parents?
Cathy Nurkala, BCN. RN, CPCE. CLC (Guest): Well research has shown that the benefits for grandparents include a decreased risk of depression and increase in brain function and immunity and also a sense of importance and belonging. Grandchildren also benefit from a decreased risk of depression. Grandchildren develop the sense of family history and culture and studies have actually shown that children that have a close relationship with their grandparents have more positive interactions with their peers, more compassion for others, more involvement in school and they are more confident. And then parents can benefit from the help, support and understanding provided by grandparents and also parents gain comfort in the knowledge that someone loves and cares for their child.
Host: What a great way to put it. Because for parents, it is soothing to know that you've got your parents you can go and ask questions about things and check on things and certainly for the grandchild. I know how my kids are with their grandparents. It's such a special relationship and different than the parents. So, as grandparents go, and there is no rulebook, give us some of your best do's and don'ts of grandparenting. What's the best way to be a good grandparent?
Cathy: Well one do is to be clear about what you are willing to do as a grandparent and don't allow yourself to be talked into doing something you don't want to do.
Also, you do want to ask how you can help but don't offer unsolicited advice, criticism or interfere with their parenting style. You do want to choose a good time to visit the new grandchild whether it's in the hospital or at home. It's good to call first. And don't invite yourself over all the time. And ask permission if you are bringing extra guests.
Also, you do want to keep things positive. Keep opinions to yourself. Don't react negatively if the child looks different than what you were expecting, or you don't like the baby's name. You do want to rejoice in the birth of your grandchild but don't announce the birth to family or friends before the parents do. Don't take pictures or post information on social media without permission.
Host: That's really great advice. And I'm sure parents appreciate that advice Cathy completely. Because it's not the grandparents role to put those pictures on before the parents have had a chance. Now you mentioned not showing up all the time and all of this great advice but what if you disagree with your parent, what if the grandparents and the parents disagree on discipline or behavior and the grandmother says well, I never would have let you get away with sitting in front of the TV for four hours. What then?
Cathy: Well grandparents, they do need to trust the parents to parent their child. And they need to respect the choices the parents make. Also, if the grandparent really strongly disagrees with a parent's parenting style, they do need to kind of choose their words carefully, be diplomatic. Sometimes, too, grandparents might feel that they should have a say in parenting matters if they are contributing to their grandchild's welfare financially, but that does not though give them the right to do so. They have to let the parent, parent their child.
Host: Absolutely true and not always easy for grandparents to let that roll the way that it should and to trust their children because they've already been through it but you're right, you're exactly right. So, now grandparents today may not have the same information that new parents have, sleeping, safety, car seats, things like that. What should grandparents know that they may not have known 20 years ago?
Cathy: Well, one thing about sleeping is that grandparents do need to know about the ABCs of safe sleeping and that means that the baby sleeps alone, on their back, in a crib. And it's a crib or bassinette. But it's a crib that doesn't have any other – no blankets or pillows or sleep positioners or crib bumpers or stuffed animals in the crib. It's just an empty crib. Also grandparents should never sleep in a recliner or on a couch or in a bed with the grandchild. And for safety, grandparents do want to make sure they baby proof their house. They also want to learn infant child CPR. They should get a DTAP booster.
That's a booster for diphtheria, tetanus and pertussis. Pertussis especially in Florida – we've lots of cases of pertussis so they want to make sure they get their booster to protect their grandchild. They also want to make sure that they use car seats and booster seats when transporting their grandchildren and also grandparents don't want to smoke or vape or drink while caring for the grandchild.
Host: That's so important that you pointed out that they need to make sure to use those safety features because they are available now. So, grandparents are special. Tell us how they play this really positive role in the whole family.
Cathy: Well to quote a person who sums it up perfectly, this quote is "what children need the most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life and most importantly cookies."
Host: I love that. Wow. That's just fantastic. So, as we wrap up. Tell us about the grandparent class through BayCare. What can families expect from the class?
Cathy: Well the grandparenting class is a very interactive class that involves a lot of lectures, videos, hands on activities. We talk about topics including changes in childbirth and hospital care, how to support the parents and also the newest recommendation, the baby care.
Host: And how does somebody find out about that and enroll?
Cathy: What they can do is go on our website www.baycareevents.org and then fill in the search box for the grandparenting class.
Host: Thank you Cathy. What great advice and what a lovely segment because I know how my kids are with my parents and I just think it's so lovely. Thank you so much for coming on and giving us such great useable tips for good grandparenting. And that wraps ups this episode of BayCare HealthChat. To register for a grandparents class visit www.baycareevents.org and search grandparents for more information and to get connected with the program. If you found this podcast as cool as I did, please share with your friends and family, share all this great information that Cathy gave us today because that's how we all learn together. And be sure not to miss all the other fascinating podcasts in the BayCare library. Until next time, I'm Melanie Cole.