Transcription:
Resiliency and Self-Care

Introduction: Here's another edition of the BayCare Health System’s podcast series, BayCare HealthChat with Melanie Cole.

Melanie Cole: In times of uncertainty and tragedy. Some people really struggle to keep going while others adapt to life-changing events more easily. Being resilient may be what makes the big difference. Welcome to BayCare HealthChat. I'm Melanie Cole, and I invite you to listen as we discuss resiliency and self-care. Joining me is Mr. Tracy Daniels. He's a Behavioral Health Educator and Master Level Practitioner with BayCare Behavioral Health. Tracy, thank you so much for being with us today. And this is really important for so many people right now that are trying to figure out ways to be resilient, to get through on the other side, to stay mentally well and emotionally healthy. Tell us what resilience is and what's the relationship between it and our mental health.

Tracy Daniels: Thank you so much, Melanie, for having me here today. And you're right. This is a subject during this time that I believe we really have to go back and examine what it is and what it is not for us. And of course resiliency all it is, is the ability to bounce back from a difficult situation or event that has created some distress or unhealthy life changes. So either you're going to break or you're going to bounce, it's up to how you're going to navigate through this time. And resiliency is something that we all have, but there are four questions that I really work with people with resiliency. And I want to ask these questions to you, Melanie. I want to ask you this and think about it for a few seconds. So what age did you learn resiliency? Where were you when you learned it? Who taught you how to be resilient? And, how did you learn resiliency?

Host: That's so interesting, Tracy. So I think for me personally, I learned it somewhere in my twenties. I learned it from my mother. I learned it kind of in the halfway point between college and graduate school. And I think that I learned it from my parents because we were losing relatives at the time, there were many deaths. I was going through my own emotional issues and not knowing what I was going to do next and where my future would lead. And my mother was a very, very strong woman. So she talked me through it and said, well, let's make a plan. What was the last question?

Tracy Daniels: How did you learn it?

Host: By experience, I think? By trying and finding that some things didn't work, they made me sadder or they made me frustrated or angry. And then if I didn't try something else, I was going to stay in that state.

Tracy Daniels: Right. That's powerful. Because you know the thing about those questions and they might've been something that some of us might have thought about, but I don't think we might've put them in this kind of order in the depth because believe it or not, everything that you said is true when it comes to resiliency. However, sometimes we don't put those situations with resilient behavior. We don't think about that. And there's, to be truthful, resiliency is something that we are not born with, but it is something that what that we learn through time. Because we are all learning right now through the things that's going on and our society we're learning the resilient behavior. But how many of us recognize it as resiliency? Because some people learn resiliency as early as five or six, they may have fell off a bike, got back up and kept going. Or some people might've learned it while they was in school. Maybe they, you know, had a rejection from asking someone out and now they learn to develop coping skills, like self-confidence to do it again.

So, they learned, or some people learned it later in life due sometimes to tragedy or different things. But the key thing with this is that you have the ability to keep going. You just don't stay there. And that's the part when we talk about resiliency. I think it's important for us right now because I even think of it in this term. You know, we all grow, but how many times? And can we really tell when that second, when our bones begin to push us forward, we can't do that. Now if I'm putting notches on the door, then yes, I can see that. But can I really tell it right when it happened? That's the part resiliency, just like growth, it's there, but how do we recognize it? How do we understand what resilient behavior is, especially during this time that we’re going through? And I would say to be truthful when we talk about resiliency is understanding my pathway to resilient behavior. What is it? What does it look like? How am I embracing all of the things that's going on right now in society and how am I not allowing it to cause me to stay on the sidelines?

Which means I am not rebounding mentally, physically, spiritually, psychologically, and physiologically, how am I doing this in my life right now? Do I recognize it as resilient behavior? Or do I not? And I believe this is the very important part when we talk about resiliency and self care, how am I doing through this time and through this process? And if I'm noticing that I'm being, getting a little bit more irritable from the time of the start of this COVID and I wasn't that way before, or I'm noticing that my peace was disrupted. Because prior to COVID, I might've been able to get into a peaceful state and I was able to balance that. But now I'm noticing that I'm not balancing these things the way I used to. So I'm learning even within this time to do things that are out of the ordinary for me, but it's helping me not to stay stuck in this area and I'm moving forward. That's the part when we talk about resilient behavior.

Host: So that makes so much sense. And as we're talking about the things that really resilient people do to keep themselves that strong. And when I think back on my mother, the things that she did with the six kids in my family and three foster kids, and I mean, she had to be strong, but how do we now turn off the noise in our head, Tracy, because we want to do these things and we hear what you're saying, but still these voices in our head tell us, Oh, this is still happening. This is still going on. Oh, this might happen. How do we turn that off? And tell us a little bit about some of the ways like if we're going to use contribution calling or competence capability, control of our own thoughts, and processes, and our connection to our community, kind of tie all of that in for us.

Tracy Daniels: Sure. So, you know, one of the keys is being able to recognize the multiple positive ways to cope with the setbacks, disappointments, and difficulties right now. You know, you mentioned it earlier, resilient people, what are some of the ways that resilient people continue to move forward? And one of them, surrounding themselves with friends or with good support networks that can help them process through the things that's going on in their life. I believe that is so important because when we have people around us that are not only positive, but those very people that are around us are helping us move forward then it encourages us and it strengthens us and not only our resilient behavior, but in our mental fortitude. The other part too is using positive and empowering attitudes. I think the mind right now is so important as we all progress through this time and this season of change. Because if my mental capacity, my cognitive thinking is not in the right way and it is skewed, then it's going to affect me in how not only I deal with stress, but it's even going to decrease my resilient behavior because now I'm looking at things from a pessimistic way.

I'm looking at things from a negative way and I'm not embracing the positives that are there. Plus I got to understand once again, this is a season that we're living in and seasons change. So how do I recognize this seasonal change? Like you said, if I'm stuck in this continuous behavior that just keeps me down, how do I do it? One of the key ways is recognizing the stressful situations that's happening with you and not living in them, recognize what it is. What has me stuck? Is it the COVID am I'm afraid of that? Or is it the other things that's taking place in my society right now? What is going on? Another key factor too, am I experiencing burnout from the accumulative stress that I've been under since COVID has started. And that's a key one also, Melanie, that we have to go and look at is the accumulative stressors. Are they causing me to not be able to move forward because everything just keeps going and going and going and I can't get a way out? And I'm not seeing a way out because now not only have I been told to stay at home and work, but now I'm also a teacher to my kids and that's not my forte. So then I also have the other living things that I have to do if I’m a spouse. So I have all these things on my plate that will deplete my resiliency. So what I have to do is begin to understand how to deal with this side of my selfcare. I got to take breaks. That's key and a factor as we move through this time. How do I do that when I'm being overstimulated by all these things? I got to set down a weekly schedule, a daily calendar for myself, so I can get a visual view of how things need to be for me and how I'm going to move forward through this time of COVID, through this time of all the things that's taken place in my life. So I would say one of the key factors in what you asked me is being able to pay attention to not only things that surround me, but also being able to set up a good plan to deal with those things.

Host: Well, that's great advice. As we wrap up, Tracy, this is just information we can all use certainly right now, but it definitely applies to really all the time. So as we consider wellness and with regards to satisfaction of our core human needs that right now, we're all trying to figure out what those are, how this relates to our sense of flourishing. If we feel like we can flourish at this time, tell us about the importance of that self care and how it can help us to be more resilient and some strategies just reiterate them what you would like us to do so that we can all take better care of ourselves. And especially Tracy, we women, we take care of everybody else, but unless we take care of ourselves and put on our own masks, as it were, we cannot take care of those we love. So wrap it up with your incredible best advice.

Tracy Daniels: Thank you. So I would say resiliency strategies number one, of course, is managing your levels of stress. What are they, what are they not? How am I identifying them as stress? And if they are identified as stress, how do I begin to manage them? That's key as we transition through this time. Another one I would say is make sure that our diet is well and we're doing that in the right way. And also getting enough rest and exercise. I can't stress that enough because that helps to do the very things within our bodies that's needed to help us get at a restful state. During the day, as I said earlier, make sure you're taking breaks. If you're working from home and you know that in your office where you were taking breaks, if you went in at seven or whatever time, you knew you were taking a break within a two hour period, and then you had your lunch break. And then at the end of the day, you begin to wind down. So stay on a routine and a schedule. I think that is one of the key factors that really have affected people in their resiliency is getting off of those type of deals that was going on prior to COVID. The other one too, is being able to make sure that you're rebounding every day. That means that you're being cognizant of your day. And you're being cognizant of you because now that goes back into taking care of yourself because you are paying attention to you.

And I believe those factors are so important, but I would say as we look ahead and just to give you some closing thoughts, try to develop your peace. If you are depleted from peace, go back and examine – Where's my peaceful place. How do I get into peace? I believe this is a big factor that have robbed a lot of people during this time as they got out of their peaceful state. If you never had one, begin to identify where your peace is during this time, because when you can do that, that can help you also increase your resilient behavior, but it can help you lower your stresses. If your peace is just going outside or sitting on the porch or just doing something in the backyard, or just going to a room in your house where you can just sit still and allow the sun just to reflect on your face. And you just sit still for a few minutes, that's peace. Find your peaceful state because when you do that, that will help your resilient behavior get better. It also will help you focus more on your self care and then it will move you into positive affirmations about yourself. So as I leave you today, a positive affirmation, I would like for everyone to think about it even say, is that I am okay. It is going to be okay. As we all transition through this time of COVID, it is going to be okay, because this is a season, and seasons come and they go.

Host: Well, I don't know about the listeners, but I just got chills all over my whole body because wow, you really hit it right there. And we all need to hear this information, Tracy, what an amazing guest you are. Thank you so much for coming on and really helping us to learn resiliency and coping mechanisms. It's so important right now. To learn more about mental health and wellbeing and all the services BayCare Behavioral Health offers, please visit our website at BayCareBehavioralHealth.org for more information, and to get connected with one of our providers. That concludes this excellent episode of BayCare HealthChat. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast and all the other BayCare podcasts. And I ask you to please share this show with your friends and family on social media anywhere you'd like to share it because this is information we certainly can all use right now. And it will help you with your mental, social, emotional wellbeing, something we all need desperately right now. Thanks for listening. I'm Melanie Cole.