Selected Podcast
What Is Empathy and Why Is It Important?
Tracy Daniels, a behavioral health psychologist and master level practitioner discusses what empathy is, why it's important and how to practice being empathetic.
Featured Speaker:
Mr. Daniels is certified in working with Critical Incident Stress Debrief (CISD) and Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). Mr. Daniels has a master’s degrees in counseling psychology and applied psychology and is a registered mental health counselor intern and a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology.
Tracy A. Daniels, MA
Tracy A. Daniels is a Behavioral Health Educator and a Master Level Practitioner with BayCare Behavioral Health. As Behavioral Health Educator, Tracy conducts prevention trainings such as Mental Health First Aid certification trainings, Mental Health First Aid 101, parenting skills, domestic violence, sexual assault, diversity, stress management, conflict resolution, worry and happiness, communication made easy, depression and dementia, and motivational interviewing.Mr. Daniels is certified in working with Critical Incident Stress Debrief (CISD) and Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM). Mr. Daniels has a master’s degrees in counseling psychology and applied psychology and is a registered mental health counselor intern and a doctoral candidate in clinical psychology.
Transcription:
What Is Empathy and Why Is It Important?
Intro: This is BayCare HealthChat, another podcast from BayCare Health System. Here's Melanie Cole.
Melanie Cole (Host): Welcome to BayCare HealthChat. I'm Melanie Cole. And joining me today is Tracy Daniels. He's a behavioral health educator and a master level practitioner with BayCare Behavioral Health. And he's here today to talk about empathy with us. Tracy, I'm so glad to have you join us again. And this is a really good topic right now. Can you tell us what we mean when we hear the word empathy? What is that? And what factors encourage empathetic behavior?
Tracy Daniels: Thank you, Melanie, once again for joining and being here to just talk about the subject of empathy and I'm always grateful to come on and be able to talk about things on the podcast. And so when we look at empathy, it's just the action of understanding and being aware and being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another person, either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner, meaning when I am feeling empathetic, that's my capacity to understand or feel what someone else is experiencing. And sometimes I think we got the concept, but how do I acculturate to that feeling?
So when we look at definitions, we talk about empathy, it's really encompassing a broad range of social, cognitive, emotional processes that's primarily concerned with understanding others and others' emotions, especially in that particular situation. How sympathetic am I of you? And how do I understand empathy from sympathy, because there's a big difference in that too. Because sympathy is when you can share the feelings of another, but empathy is when you understand the feelings of another, but not necessarily share them.
And so when we talk about the empathy part, is how do I really balance myself and have those feelings from someone else if I don't necessarily share them? And I think it goes back to my ability to separate my emotional responses to myself and really acculturate to how that person is doing, whether it's their cultural norm, or just rather understanding the ethnic part of how they're dealing with things in their life. And sometimes I think that in itself can spur us into areas that really make us feel whole and make us feel like we're human, to be able to touch someone else in a way because we may not be them, but being able to have that conversation around what's going on with them to make them feel wanted and needed and cared for and loved. So that's what I think when I talk about empathy and sympathy.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow, that's lovely. And I wish that we could all feel that way all the time, because that would be such a wonderful society. But right now, with so many people around the world suffering, and we're trying to be empathetic, we're trying to be active, we're trying to get involved and help in any way we can, some of us feel compassion fatigue, Tracy. And so I'd like you to speak about that a little bit, how empathy and compassion are a little bit different, but what are we all feeling right now? And how can we change that trajectory that we're on?
Tracy Daniels: When we talk about what you said, when I say compassion fatigue and we start looking at how we are dealing with even that part of us not being able to touch the heart of someone else. We look at it as burnout and we see it as being linked to a loss of empathy. So when we see that, there's core factors that deal with compassion fatigue and burnout that goes with, that's emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, undermining respectively the emotion reserve and sense of self required for the practice of empathy. So now, it's like, "I'm not in tune to what's going on because I have de-synthesized myself to that situation because I don't want to deal with it because it's going on inside of me." So when we look at that compassion fatigue, it's just what it says. "I've lost my ability to be compassionate with someone else because I'm fatigued about everything that's going on." And it goes back to me really balancing myself when I start talking about accumulative stress, because that plays a part in it as well, because now I'm overstressed within myself and it hinders me from being able to feel what someone else is going through, because I don't really want to deal with it.
So how do I balance the burnout or the compassion fatigue, identify what it is and when it's happening? And also, why do I allow myself to take on that? And how do I see that situation of the person that I'm actually dealing with? I think that's what's key when we start talking about a lack of compassion. Being able to really set apart myself and identify the experiences that the person is going through, that I now can do something to help them balance themselves through that situation. That's why I talked about the part earlier of understanding that empathy, understanding the feelings of others, but not necessarily sharing them. So I might understand you, but do I want to share them? So I have to ask myself that question. Because if I put up that wall and I don't really want to share them, guess what's going to happen? I'm not really going to be that compassionate with you.
But let me say this though, the compassion doesn't start externally, the compassion starts internally. That's the empathy part. How am I dealing with me internally? So I got to start with compassion for myself first. And Melanie, it's interesting when we talk about the pandemic, because that was another factor that affected people, is they stopped being compassionate with themselves and then it starts showing externally and how they were dealing with others. I think that's the biggest thing when we look at compassion and we start talking about empathy, is I got to deal with me too, because this affects me as well. And I want to level on you and help you through this situation. But I also got to understand how to establish boundaries, where I'm dealing with me in the process of this
Melanie Cole (Host): That's really, really true. We do have to pay attention to our own feelings when we're trying to help somebody else and not take whatever that is and turn it inward and make it ours, right? And that's what you all do so brilliantly as therapists. You guys have to listen to all of this and be empathetic and compassionate and yet not take it on as your own stress. Wow, that's such an interesting thought that you just said. So how are we supposed to do all of what you're telling us to do? How do we look at these things and say, "I'm going to do what I can to help, but yet I am not going to make this my trauma or my sadness or my fear or any of those things." How do we do that and become a better society?
Tracy Daniels: So when we look at how to practice it, there's many benefits of practicing empathy, especially during this global time that we're dealing with. Helping myself connect with others, being empathetic also helps me to regulate my own emotional responses in the time of the stress. So now, I'm identifying what's going on with me. I'm not making it about me, but I'm identifying those things within me. Plus, I can help myself by building my empathy by engaging in meaningful things with others, being aware of other people's needs and being kind to others as well as myself. That's where it starts at.
I got to start first being able to be kind to me, because how many times, Melanie, does something happen that we're not kind to ourselves, because we're not understanding that if I'm not kind to me, I can't be kind to you, but I got to step back and realize when it's happening like that. My empathy is depleted. Plus also, when we talk about empathy, it is action and motion, which means I'm going to be doing something that's going to take me out of the comfort zone that now is not making it about me such as action and motion means if I need to donate my time or even finances to someone, I can do that in the midst of everything that's going on. One of the most valuable ways to help others is by staying cognizant of what you're doing to help yourself. And that part goes into not in a negative way of helping myself and making it about me, but helping myself where I see that now I need to operate in my compassion, where now I can operate with you in compassion.
You know, I think another one is listening to others and engaging in acts of service, definitely observing the empathetic actions of others, as well as imagining myself in another person's situation. All these are strategies for helping build empathy. Showing empathy and engaging, as I said, in helpful actions, whether it is going to the soup kitchen or whether it's writing a supportive note to somebody, being able to increase a person's feelings by social connectedness are other factors that help deplete the compassion fatigue that we're operating in.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow. Really, really helpful information, Tracy. And where can people find out more? If they want to talk to you, what's the process? When they're figuring out that maybe they are feeling harshly or they're feeling angry all the time, or they're not feeling really, really themselves, they need to release some of that cumulative stress you and I have talked about in a previous podcast and they want to feel compassion, they want to feel empathy. How can they do that? What's the best way to do that? And give us your best advice.
Tracy Daniels: I would say when they begin to notice those things happen, please reach out to someone that's a professional that can really help them balance themselves. Because we have this kind of stigma, I would say, that reaching out for someone means that I'm weak, which it doesn't. It means that I'm really strong, because I now am recognizing that there's some things that's depleted within me that maybe I need to get recharged and just sitting and talking with someone doesn't hurt.
So what I want to do is if I'm feeling certain ways and trying to get information, then let me reach out to someone that can help me, especially if it's a professional, a therapist, or a psychiatrist or a psychologist, someone that I know that's going to be able to help me come into balance, even if it's just those small things. And sometimes we don't think about this, an exercise physiologist can help bring me into balance where I may need to do some exercise that can deal with some of the areas that's going on in my life, or even talking to a dietician that can get me in a diet that can make me start feeling better about myself about these things. And now also, that brings it back around where I can pay it forward, meaning I get that information, I can share it with someone else that I may come across, who might need that. That's part of that empathetic behavior that I have to actually share it with them and to become acculturated in another person's culture. I think that's one of the key factors too, Melanie, that sometimes we're afraid of.
We don't think about, in the United States, we have different cultures. I remember one time I was in Singapore and I heard these two guys talking and I heard one of the guys say, "Hey, I'm going over here to get a pop." And I started laughing. So I went up to him and I said, "Hey, I know where you're from in the United States." He said, "Where?" I said, "You're either from Illinois, Ohio. You're up in that Midwest because we say pop," and he started laughing. And so these are the things we don't realize, is we have a culture within our culture, but how many times do we acculturate to the cultures to help someone. And I think that's so important when we look at what empathetic behavior, because now I'm not making it about me. I'm understanding that I need to address me with a lack of compassion, but I need to work on my compassion, so now I can be more compassionate with you.
Melanie Cole (Host): Beautifully put, Tracy. What a great guest you are as always. Thank you so much for joining us today and really sharing all of your expertise. We just love it when you're on and you give us such hope and encouragement and great information. And thank you again so much. And to learn more about how you can be a more empathetic person, please visit our website at baycarebehavioralhealth.org to get connected with one of our providers. That concludes this episode of BayCare HealthChat. Please always remember to subscribe, rate and review this podcast and all the other BayCare podcasts. I'm Melanie Cole.
What Is Empathy and Why Is It Important?
Intro: This is BayCare HealthChat, another podcast from BayCare Health System. Here's Melanie Cole.
Melanie Cole (Host): Welcome to BayCare HealthChat. I'm Melanie Cole. And joining me today is Tracy Daniels. He's a behavioral health educator and a master level practitioner with BayCare Behavioral Health. And he's here today to talk about empathy with us. Tracy, I'm so glad to have you join us again. And this is a really good topic right now. Can you tell us what we mean when we hear the word empathy? What is that? And what factors encourage empathetic behavior?
Tracy Daniels: Thank you, Melanie, once again for joining and being here to just talk about the subject of empathy and I'm always grateful to come on and be able to talk about things on the podcast. And so when we look at empathy, it's just the action of understanding and being aware and being sensitive to the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another person, either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner, meaning when I am feeling empathetic, that's my capacity to understand or feel what someone else is experiencing. And sometimes I think we got the concept, but how do I acculturate to that feeling?
So when we look at definitions, we talk about empathy, it's really encompassing a broad range of social, cognitive, emotional processes that's primarily concerned with understanding others and others' emotions, especially in that particular situation. How sympathetic am I of you? And how do I understand empathy from sympathy, because there's a big difference in that too. Because sympathy is when you can share the feelings of another, but empathy is when you understand the feelings of another, but not necessarily share them.
And so when we talk about the empathy part, is how do I really balance myself and have those feelings from someone else if I don't necessarily share them? And I think it goes back to my ability to separate my emotional responses to myself and really acculturate to how that person is doing, whether it's their cultural norm, or just rather understanding the ethnic part of how they're dealing with things in their life. And sometimes I think that in itself can spur us into areas that really make us feel whole and make us feel like we're human, to be able to touch someone else in a way because we may not be them, but being able to have that conversation around what's going on with them to make them feel wanted and needed and cared for and loved. So that's what I think when I talk about empathy and sympathy.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow, that's lovely. And I wish that we could all feel that way all the time, because that would be such a wonderful society. But right now, with so many people around the world suffering, and we're trying to be empathetic, we're trying to be active, we're trying to get involved and help in any way we can, some of us feel compassion fatigue, Tracy. And so I'd like you to speak about that a little bit, how empathy and compassion are a little bit different, but what are we all feeling right now? And how can we change that trajectory that we're on?
Tracy Daniels: When we talk about what you said, when I say compassion fatigue and we start looking at how we are dealing with even that part of us not being able to touch the heart of someone else. We look at it as burnout and we see it as being linked to a loss of empathy. So when we see that, there's core factors that deal with compassion fatigue and burnout that goes with, that's emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, undermining respectively the emotion reserve and sense of self required for the practice of empathy. So now, it's like, "I'm not in tune to what's going on because I have de-synthesized myself to that situation because I don't want to deal with it because it's going on inside of me." So when we look at that compassion fatigue, it's just what it says. "I've lost my ability to be compassionate with someone else because I'm fatigued about everything that's going on." And it goes back to me really balancing myself when I start talking about accumulative stress, because that plays a part in it as well, because now I'm overstressed within myself and it hinders me from being able to feel what someone else is going through, because I don't really want to deal with it.
So how do I balance the burnout or the compassion fatigue, identify what it is and when it's happening? And also, why do I allow myself to take on that? And how do I see that situation of the person that I'm actually dealing with? I think that's what's key when we start talking about a lack of compassion. Being able to really set apart myself and identify the experiences that the person is going through, that I now can do something to help them balance themselves through that situation. That's why I talked about the part earlier of understanding that empathy, understanding the feelings of others, but not necessarily sharing them. So I might understand you, but do I want to share them? So I have to ask myself that question. Because if I put up that wall and I don't really want to share them, guess what's going to happen? I'm not really going to be that compassionate with you.
But let me say this though, the compassion doesn't start externally, the compassion starts internally. That's the empathy part. How am I dealing with me internally? So I got to start with compassion for myself first. And Melanie, it's interesting when we talk about the pandemic, because that was another factor that affected people, is they stopped being compassionate with themselves and then it starts showing externally and how they were dealing with others. I think that's the biggest thing when we look at compassion and we start talking about empathy, is I got to deal with me too, because this affects me as well. And I want to level on you and help you through this situation. But I also got to understand how to establish boundaries, where I'm dealing with me in the process of this
Melanie Cole (Host): That's really, really true. We do have to pay attention to our own feelings when we're trying to help somebody else and not take whatever that is and turn it inward and make it ours, right? And that's what you all do so brilliantly as therapists. You guys have to listen to all of this and be empathetic and compassionate and yet not take it on as your own stress. Wow, that's such an interesting thought that you just said. So how are we supposed to do all of what you're telling us to do? How do we look at these things and say, "I'm going to do what I can to help, but yet I am not going to make this my trauma or my sadness or my fear or any of those things." How do we do that and become a better society?
Tracy Daniels: So when we look at how to practice it, there's many benefits of practicing empathy, especially during this global time that we're dealing with. Helping myself connect with others, being empathetic also helps me to regulate my own emotional responses in the time of the stress. So now, I'm identifying what's going on with me. I'm not making it about me, but I'm identifying those things within me. Plus, I can help myself by building my empathy by engaging in meaningful things with others, being aware of other people's needs and being kind to others as well as myself. That's where it starts at.
I got to start first being able to be kind to me, because how many times, Melanie, does something happen that we're not kind to ourselves, because we're not understanding that if I'm not kind to me, I can't be kind to you, but I got to step back and realize when it's happening like that. My empathy is depleted. Plus also, when we talk about empathy, it is action and motion, which means I'm going to be doing something that's going to take me out of the comfort zone that now is not making it about me such as action and motion means if I need to donate my time or even finances to someone, I can do that in the midst of everything that's going on. One of the most valuable ways to help others is by staying cognizant of what you're doing to help yourself. And that part goes into not in a negative way of helping myself and making it about me, but helping myself where I see that now I need to operate in my compassion, where now I can operate with you in compassion.
You know, I think another one is listening to others and engaging in acts of service, definitely observing the empathetic actions of others, as well as imagining myself in another person's situation. All these are strategies for helping build empathy. Showing empathy and engaging, as I said, in helpful actions, whether it is going to the soup kitchen or whether it's writing a supportive note to somebody, being able to increase a person's feelings by social connectedness are other factors that help deplete the compassion fatigue that we're operating in.
Melanie Cole (Host): Wow. Really, really helpful information, Tracy. And where can people find out more? If they want to talk to you, what's the process? When they're figuring out that maybe they are feeling harshly or they're feeling angry all the time, or they're not feeling really, really themselves, they need to release some of that cumulative stress you and I have talked about in a previous podcast and they want to feel compassion, they want to feel empathy. How can they do that? What's the best way to do that? And give us your best advice.
Tracy Daniels: I would say when they begin to notice those things happen, please reach out to someone that's a professional that can really help them balance themselves. Because we have this kind of stigma, I would say, that reaching out for someone means that I'm weak, which it doesn't. It means that I'm really strong, because I now am recognizing that there's some things that's depleted within me that maybe I need to get recharged and just sitting and talking with someone doesn't hurt.
So what I want to do is if I'm feeling certain ways and trying to get information, then let me reach out to someone that can help me, especially if it's a professional, a therapist, or a psychiatrist or a psychologist, someone that I know that's going to be able to help me come into balance, even if it's just those small things. And sometimes we don't think about this, an exercise physiologist can help bring me into balance where I may need to do some exercise that can deal with some of the areas that's going on in my life, or even talking to a dietician that can get me in a diet that can make me start feeling better about myself about these things. And now also, that brings it back around where I can pay it forward, meaning I get that information, I can share it with someone else that I may come across, who might need that. That's part of that empathetic behavior that I have to actually share it with them and to become acculturated in another person's culture. I think that's one of the key factors too, Melanie, that sometimes we're afraid of.
We don't think about, in the United States, we have different cultures. I remember one time I was in Singapore and I heard these two guys talking and I heard one of the guys say, "Hey, I'm going over here to get a pop." And I started laughing. So I went up to him and I said, "Hey, I know where you're from in the United States." He said, "Where?" I said, "You're either from Illinois, Ohio. You're up in that Midwest because we say pop," and he started laughing. And so these are the things we don't realize, is we have a culture within our culture, but how many times do we acculturate to the cultures to help someone. And I think that's so important when we look at what empathetic behavior, because now I'm not making it about me. I'm understanding that I need to address me with a lack of compassion, but I need to work on my compassion, so now I can be more compassionate with you.
Melanie Cole (Host): Beautifully put, Tracy. What a great guest you are as always. Thank you so much for joining us today and really sharing all of your expertise. We just love it when you're on and you give us such hope and encouragement and great information. And thank you again so much. And to learn more about how you can be a more empathetic person, please visit our website at baycarebehavioralhealth.org to get connected with one of our providers. That concludes this episode of BayCare HealthChat. Please always remember to subscribe, rate and review this podcast and all the other BayCare podcasts. I'm Melanie Cole.