Caitlin Whyte (Host): This is BayCare HealthChat. I'm Caitlyn White. Joining me this episode is Selma Bacevac, a licensed psychotherapist and behavioral health educator at BayCare. Today we're delving into the topic of coping with stress.

Selma brings a wealth of experience and a compassionate, trauma-informed approach to understanding and managing stress, resilience, and women's health. Let's explore how stress impacts us and discover practical strategies to manage it effectively.

Well, to start us off today, I'm sure a lot of our listeners have this question. Just what is stress, biologically speaking?

Selma Bacevac: So when we talk about stress, we often think it's just like feeling overwhelmed or anxious. But stress is actually a full body biological response. It starts in the brain, and there's a part in particular called the amygdala, which triggers the release of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. And this activates the sympathetic nervous system where your heart rate goes up, your muscles tense, your digestion slows down. This is your body getting ready to fight or flee.

This response was designed to help us survive short bursts of danger. However, the problem in our modern-day life is that we're activating that system over and over because we have a lot of emails, there's traffic, there's deadlines, there's parenting, there's stress everywhere, and we rarely give the body a chance to come back down.

That's when stress becomes chronic, and that's when it starts to impact our sleep, our immune system, our memory. Just everyday life, and even our digestion. So to understand stress as a physiological loop is important, not as a personality trait. Really, this is the key to managing it.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): And that brings me to my next question. You mentioned some of those symptoms of stress, digestion, and lack of sleep. I know I always feel it in my chest, but what are some overlooked symptoms of stress?

Selma Bacevac: This is a great question. Most people don't know that they're actually stressed because we've normalized it so much.

If you are snapping at people, if you're forgetting small things, if you're waking up tired even after a good night's sleep, those are probably really good signs.  Tension in your shoulders, a clenched jaw, frequent headaches, or feeling numb and detached from those things you usually enjoy. These are all the way your body's waving a red flag.

I like to tell people don't wait for a breakdown. I tell them to notice micro signals like chronic stress doesn't always look dramatic. It often looks like I'm tired all the time, or I'm just so busy and I'm forgetting so many things. But behind that is often a nervous system stuck in overdrive.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): Gotcha. Gotcha. Well, what's the difference between coping with stress and actually managing it?

Selma Bacevac: Coping gets us through the moment. Management changes the long-term pattern. So coping might be like scrolling your phone or snacking or zoning out with TV. Those aren't wrong or bad. They do help us cope with what's happening in front of us. But if that's your only way to deal with stress, your system never gets a chance to reset.

So managing stress means being proactive, integrating habits that support your nervous system flexibility. This may look like taking a lot of deep breaths, getting enough sleep, getting your nutrition in your movement in, having healthy boundaries or talking to someone. Coping is sort of the short game, and then management is the long game. We need both, but we need to have an honest conversation with ourselves about which one we're relying on the most.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): I love that distinction, that coping is the short game and managing it is the long game. Well, looking at maybe the short game or this middle game, what are some everyday tools that can help reduce stress?

Selma Bacevac: I always recommend starting small, and one of my go-to tools is a grounding tool, the Five Senses Grounding Tool. It brings you back into your body to name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell and one you can taste that puts your brain back out of this stress loop and breathing becomes easier and you're more present. Another one is to try the box breathing method, which is four seconds where you hold your breath for four seconds, breathe in for four seconds, and you breathe out for four seconds. This really tells your nervous system that you're safe.

Another one would be a five-minute walk. But here's the key: without your phone so that you can help reset your system. These tools help because they directly signal your brain that it's not in danger and that it's okay to downshift. That's the real neuroscience behind it because it's so powerful when we stop and notice what's happening for us.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): I’d love to bring in this idea of self-compassion. What exactly is self-compassion and how does it help with stress?

Selma Bacevac: Self-compassion isn't about letting yourself off the hook. It's about talking to yourself like you would to someone you really love. Research shows that self-compassion reduces cortisol. It improves our emotional resilience and actually motivates a positive behavior change. However, many of us grew up believing that we had to be really hard on ourselves to succeed, so self-criticism becomes this voice that's default to stress. So I like to remind people you don't have to earn your rest. Being kind to yourself during the day or during a hard moment is a sign of strength, and it makes you more able to respond instead of react.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): All right, and you talked about how we normalize stress levels in daily life. Why do we do that on this biological level?

Selma Bacevac: You know, we live in a culture that equates worth with being busy with productivity. Being busy is often seen as a badge of honor. So we learn to dismiss our own needs and call that resilience, and chronic stress isn't resilience. It's overload. So we can start to shift this by noticing where we override our body signals.

Is it skipping meals? Is it pushing through fatigue? Is it saying, “yes” when we're really exhausted? And stress management isn't just about doing more self-care; it's about reevaluating what we already are doing and the beliefs that are driving our stress in the first place.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): And what kind of support is available for people dealing with chronic stress?

Selma Bacevac: You don't have to wait until you are at a breaking point to get help. If you are having trouble sleeping, feeling constantly on edge or experiencing panic or noticing that you just don't feel like yourself lately. Those are really good signs to reach out to support. And support might look like starting with your primary care doctor, seeing a therapist, a licensed therapist, or joining a support group.

It's getting help that makes you feel good about yourself. It's not a failure. It's a step toward resetting your baseline and getting your nervous system back to a place that can rest and respond to situations through a more managed self-care.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): Wonderful, and you gave us so many tips to take away today, but as we wrap up this conversation, how can people personalize their approach to managing stress without feeling overwhelmed?

Selma Bacevac: There is no one size fits all solution to stress. I wish there was, but what works for me might not work for you and that's totally okay. The goal is to build a personal toolkit, so maybe you're better after journaling, or maybe with walking your dog or calling a friend. The key is to stay curious about what your body is responding to.

And stress management is a skill, and like any skill, it gets better with practice. It's not about being perfect at it or knowing all the things right away. It's about building small, doable habits that help your body feel safe enough to relax.

Caitlin Whyte (Host): And that wraps up this episode of BayCare HealthChat. Thank you, Selma, for joining us today, and thank you for listening. Head on over to our website at BayCare.org for more information and to get connected with one of our providers. Please remember to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast and all of the other BayCare podcasts. For more health tips and updates, follow us on your social channels.