Coping with depression, anxiety or complex mental illness is difficult, but you don’t have to handle it on your own. Millions of Americans are affected by mental illnesses; you are not alone. You may feel like you are just holding on by a thread at the moment, but luckily, mental health challenges are treatable, with opportunities to help you or your loved one return to a full, purposeful and productive life.
Listen in as Stacy Waldron, PhD offers compassionate care, treatment and effective counseling, right here in Lincoln and can help give you the tools needed to cope with the challenges you are facing.
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You Can Be Mentally Strong
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Learn more about Dr. Stacy Waldron
Stacy Waldron, PhD, Bryan Counseling Center
Dr. Stacy Waldron is a licensed psychologist with the Bryan Counseling Center.Learn more about Dr. Stacy Waldron
Transcription:
You Can Be Mentally Strong
Melanie Cole (Host): Bryan Health hosts a community run every October to further their commitment to wellness and mental health. For more information about this event, you can go to Brianhealth.org/run. This special podcast series is brought to you by Bryan Health and the Kim Foundation.
Everybody feels a little down and out now and then, but there are ways that you can feel mentally strong. My guest today is Dr. Stacy Waldron. She is a licensed psychologist with Bryan Counseling Center. Welcome to the show, Dr. Waldron. What do you mean by mentally strong?
Dr. Stacy Waldron (Guest): Being mentally strong deals with your emotional strength, just like if you’re physically strong deals with your physical strength. Emotional strength is your emotional stability or resilience. It’s characterized by being assertive or caring and coping and having stress management skills. When you’re assertive, you show confidence versus being aggressive which is being attacking or confrontational. When you’re caring, you display kindness or concern for others. In psychology, coping is having your ability to invest your own conscious effort in solving your personal or interpersonal problems. So, that’s your ability to minimize stress or conflict. One of the ways you can be emotionally strong is through stress management or identifying stress in your life.
Melanie: How do we identify stress? Because it’s rather subjective and people look at it different ways. What is a very stressful situation to one person may not be for another.
Dr. Waldron: It’s very easy to identify major stressors in one’s life, such as changing a job or moving or a death in the family. But, everyday stressors are harder to identify. You can use a stress journal to help identify common stressors, such as tracking those stressors in everyday life and looking for patterns. You can also look at how you feel emotionally, physically, and how you respond to those stressors. And then, you can look at how you feel better when you look at those things. You can see what you can do to make yourself feel better. Some of those everyday stressors may be something like getting ready for school in the morning--getting your children together, getting their breakfasts in the morning, getting everything going to get yourself to work, and getting your family going. Those can be everyday stressors.
Melanie: We can identify those stressors by looking at what’s going on in our lives. So, what do we do about them? How do we develop some stress management skills to deal with all of these things that we all have going on?
Dr. Waldron: Stress management skills are resources or strategies that you can use to deal with a stressor. Some people call them “coping skills” or “coping strategies”. Once you’ve identified those stressors, such as that morning routine, you need to recognize what you can do about it. One of the things you can do — and these are a few of my favorite things — you can look at the situation and see if you can avoid a situation that makes you stressed when possible, such as being willing to compromise or manage your time better. You can do things like using positive self-statements, saying to yourself, “I can do this.” You can accept things that you cannot change, looking for the upside in a situation. You can adapt to the stressor, reframing the problem or looking at it from a positive perspective, looking at the big picture. You can make time for fun and relaxation. Do something you enjoy to do every day. And, you can live a healthy lifestyle. Get some exercise and eat healthy.
Melanie: I’d like to touch on one of those you talked about--negative self-talk. We tell ourselves all the time, “I’m never going to get all this done” or “Work is too stressful for me,” or “I need to lose weight,” whatever your stressor is, we negative self-talk so often. How can we stop doing that?
Dr. Waldron: With negative self-talk, you can take that negative — and we all happens to be experts at the negative, it’s amazing how we can do that. So, we can take that negative and say, “Alright. I know the negative, but let’s see that opposite side, what’s the positive side of it?” And so, we can take that positive and say, “Well, I need to lose weight but what is the positive? What is good about this? Well, I have eaten something healthy today, or I went for a walk at lunch time.” So you can see that other side of it, that good side.
Melanie: So, we identify those good things. Can we do most of this on our own? When do we need to get help from a professional?
Dr. Waldron: Yes, you can do many of these things on your own and you can try these strategies on your own in the beginning. Many people are successful at trying stress management on their own. But if you’ve tried these strategies on your own and you feel you haven’t been successful, it might be time for an assessment from a professional. That doesn’t mean that there’s necessarily a severe problem, but a mental health professional can assist with reducing the stress and keeping people mentally strong, just as a physician assists with keeping people healthy with wellness checks or going when there is a minor problem just as a major problem. For example, at the Counseling Center we have a screening available on our website at Bryanhealth.org. It’s free and confidential. We can also have the Counseling Center called at 402-481-5991.
Melanie: What about being realistic with some of these goals and setting smart goals for ourselves, being optimistic about it. How do we get into that habit?
Dr. Waldron: That is very important to do. Going back to weight loss, many times people say, “I am going to lose 50 pounds.” Well, if in the first week they haven’t lost the 50 pounds, they give up. So, you need to break it into pieces, set it into smaller amounts. Let’s say, “I want to lose two pounds in my first week.” Make it a small enough amount that you can actually achieve it. Make it smaller goals and then each time you achieve that goal say to yourself, “I have achieved something. Recognize your achievement.”
Melanie: When do we decide it’s time to let something go and realize that maybe that’s not in our sites to get done that day, if we are talking about our lists or things that stress us out?
Dr. Waldron: When you recognize that there are certain things that you can achieve and certain things that you cannot achieve within a certain day or perhaps within even a certain week, you have to take accounting of what is achievable and what isn’t. For example, you may have to pare down that list a little bit and sort of spread it out over your time. Again, the more you put on your list, the more that you put on your plate, the higher the stress level can be.
Melanie: Some people waste time feeling sorry for themselves and so as a result maybe we’re not as productive as we’d like to be, or we haven’t tried meditation. How do we stop doing that?
Dr. Waldron: Again, looking at what is positive in your life rather than what is negative. We can always go to that negative point, “This is what went wrong.” So, you go back to what went right and rather than continually reviewing, “This is my problem. I have to fix my problem.” Sometimes you may not be able to fix the problem at all. Again, accepting the things you cannot change, look for that upside. So, you can let those things go. That’s one of the ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I cannot change this issue but I can do that.” So, look at what can I do, not what can’t I do. And, you mentioned something else, the meditation. Relaxation and meditation can be wonderful coping skills.
Melanie: What about shying away from change? Some people don’t like to have their schedule uprooted or to change the way they look at food or exercise. So, what about shying away from change?
Dr. Waldron: Granted, some people do not like to make changes. So, you sometimes have to make them in smaller increments rather than great big ones. I talk about them in baby steps. When you make them smaller it doesn’t feel like this dramatic change. You can make then in small amounts. That can make it feel much more comfortable. Again, it’s one of those adapting to the stressor, because you’re doing it in a smaller amount. If you make it so large, it may be very difficult to make that change.
Melanie: And you mentioned at the beginning being kind and doing things for others, what about people that don’t feel happy with what they’re doing and they resent other people’s successes. Does that take away from our mental strength?
Dr. Waldron: It does. And sometimes what happens is that resentment comes because they’re not looking within at themselves and acknowledging for themselves what they are actually able to accomplish and what they are doing. Sometimes that kindness and caring needs to come to themselves as well. You need to be kind to yourself.
Melanie: In just the last few minutes, give us your best advice about being mentally strong and how we can maintain that for a better quality of life for all of us?
Dr. Waldron: Being mentally strong for yourself is following through with all of these things, practicing the techniques that I’ve mentioned, trying to reduce conflict, trying to reduce stress and being good to yourself.
Melanie: Thank you so much for being with us, Dr. Waldron. It’s great information. You’re listening to Bryan Health Radio and if you’d like more information about mental health services at Bryan Health you can go to Bryanhealth.org. This is Melanie Cole.
You Can Be Mentally Strong
Melanie Cole (Host): Bryan Health hosts a community run every October to further their commitment to wellness and mental health. For more information about this event, you can go to Brianhealth.org/run. This special podcast series is brought to you by Bryan Health and the Kim Foundation.
Everybody feels a little down and out now and then, but there are ways that you can feel mentally strong. My guest today is Dr. Stacy Waldron. She is a licensed psychologist with Bryan Counseling Center. Welcome to the show, Dr. Waldron. What do you mean by mentally strong?
Dr. Stacy Waldron (Guest): Being mentally strong deals with your emotional strength, just like if you’re physically strong deals with your physical strength. Emotional strength is your emotional stability or resilience. It’s characterized by being assertive or caring and coping and having stress management skills. When you’re assertive, you show confidence versus being aggressive which is being attacking or confrontational. When you’re caring, you display kindness or concern for others. In psychology, coping is having your ability to invest your own conscious effort in solving your personal or interpersonal problems. So, that’s your ability to minimize stress or conflict. One of the ways you can be emotionally strong is through stress management or identifying stress in your life.
Melanie: How do we identify stress? Because it’s rather subjective and people look at it different ways. What is a very stressful situation to one person may not be for another.
Dr. Waldron: It’s very easy to identify major stressors in one’s life, such as changing a job or moving or a death in the family. But, everyday stressors are harder to identify. You can use a stress journal to help identify common stressors, such as tracking those stressors in everyday life and looking for patterns. You can also look at how you feel emotionally, physically, and how you respond to those stressors. And then, you can look at how you feel better when you look at those things. You can see what you can do to make yourself feel better. Some of those everyday stressors may be something like getting ready for school in the morning--getting your children together, getting their breakfasts in the morning, getting everything going to get yourself to work, and getting your family going. Those can be everyday stressors.
Melanie: We can identify those stressors by looking at what’s going on in our lives. So, what do we do about them? How do we develop some stress management skills to deal with all of these things that we all have going on?
Dr. Waldron: Stress management skills are resources or strategies that you can use to deal with a stressor. Some people call them “coping skills” or “coping strategies”. Once you’ve identified those stressors, such as that morning routine, you need to recognize what you can do about it. One of the things you can do — and these are a few of my favorite things — you can look at the situation and see if you can avoid a situation that makes you stressed when possible, such as being willing to compromise or manage your time better. You can do things like using positive self-statements, saying to yourself, “I can do this.” You can accept things that you cannot change, looking for the upside in a situation. You can adapt to the stressor, reframing the problem or looking at it from a positive perspective, looking at the big picture. You can make time for fun and relaxation. Do something you enjoy to do every day. And, you can live a healthy lifestyle. Get some exercise and eat healthy.
Melanie: I’d like to touch on one of those you talked about--negative self-talk. We tell ourselves all the time, “I’m never going to get all this done” or “Work is too stressful for me,” or “I need to lose weight,” whatever your stressor is, we negative self-talk so often. How can we stop doing that?
Dr. Waldron: With negative self-talk, you can take that negative — and we all happens to be experts at the negative, it’s amazing how we can do that. So, we can take that negative and say, “Alright. I know the negative, but let’s see that opposite side, what’s the positive side of it?” And so, we can take that positive and say, “Well, I need to lose weight but what is the positive? What is good about this? Well, I have eaten something healthy today, or I went for a walk at lunch time.” So you can see that other side of it, that good side.
Melanie: So, we identify those good things. Can we do most of this on our own? When do we need to get help from a professional?
Dr. Waldron: Yes, you can do many of these things on your own and you can try these strategies on your own in the beginning. Many people are successful at trying stress management on their own. But if you’ve tried these strategies on your own and you feel you haven’t been successful, it might be time for an assessment from a professional. That doesn’t mean that there’s necessarily a severe problem, but a mental health professional can assist with reducing the stress and keeping people mentally strong, just as a physician assists with keeping people healthy with wellness checks or going when there is a minor problem just as a major problem. For example, at the Counseling Center we have a screening available on our website at Bryanhealth.org. It’s free and confidential. We can also have the Counseling Center called at 402-481-5991.
Melanie: What about being realistic with some of these goals and setting smart goals for ourselves, being optimistic about it. How do we get into that habit?
Dr. Waldron: That is very important to do. Going back to weight loss, many times people say, “I am going to lose 50 pounds.” Well, if in the first week they haven’t lost the 50 pounds, they give up. So, you need to break it into pieces, set it into smaller amounts. Let’s say, “I want to lose two pounds in my first week.” Make it a small enough amount that you can actually achieve it. Make it smaller goals and then each time you achieve that goal say to yourself, “I have achieved something. Recognize your achievement.”
Melanie: When do we decide it’s time to let something go and realize that maybe that’s not in our sites to get done that day, if we are talking about our lists or things that stress us out?
Dr. Waldron: When you recognize that there are certain things that you can achieve and certain things that you cannot achieve within a certain day or perhaps within even a certain week, you have to take accounting of what is achievable and what isn’t. For example, you may have to pare down that list a little bit and sort of spread it out over your time. Again, the more you put on your list, the more that you put on your plate, the higher the stress level can be.
Melanie: Some people waste time feeling sorry for themselves and so as a result maybe we’re not as productive as we’d like to be, or we haven’t tried meditation. How do we stop doing that?
Dr. Waldron: Again, looking at what is positive in your life rather than what is negative. We can always go to that negative point, “This is what went wrong.” So, you go back to what went right and rather than continually reviewing, “This is my problem. I have to fix my problem.” Sometimes you may not be able to fix the problem at all. Again, accepting the things you cannot change, look for that upside. So, you can let those things go. That’s one of the ways to stop feeling sorry for yourself. I cannot change this issue but I can do that.” So, look at what can I do, not what can’t I do. And, you mentioned something else, the meditation. Relaxation and meditation can be wonderful coping skills.
Melanie: What about shying away from change? Some people don’t like to have their schedule uprooted or to change the way they look at food or exercise. So, what about shying away from change?
Dr. Waldron: Granted, some people do not like to make changes. So, you sometimes have to make them in smaller increments rather than great big ones. I talk about them in baby steps. When you make them smaller it doesn’t feel like this dramatic change. You can make then in small amounts. That can make it feel much more comfortable. Again, it’s one of those adapting to the stressor, because you’re doing it in a smaller amount. If you make it so large, it may be very difficult to make that change.
Melanie: And you mentioned at the beginning being kind and doing things for others, what about people that don’t feel happy with what they’re doing and they resent other people’s successes. Does that take away from our mental strength?
Dr. Waldron: It does. And sometimes what happens is that resentment comes because they’re not looking within at themselves and acknowledging for themselves what they are actually able to accomplish and what they are doing. Sometimes that kindness and caring needs to come to themselves as well. You need to be kind to yourself.
Melanie: In just the last few minutes, give us your best advice about being mentally strong and how we can maintain that for a better quality of life for all of us?
Dr. Waldron: Being mentally strong for yourself is following through with all of these things, practicing the techniques that I’ve mentioned, trying to reduce conflict, trying to reduce stress and being good to yourself.
Melanie: Thank you so much for being with us, Dr. Waldron. It’s great information. You’re listening to Bryan Health Radio and if you’d like more information about mental health services at Bryan Health you can go to Bryanhealth.org. This is Melanie Cole.