Melanie Cole, MS (Host): Welcome to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County. I'm Melanie Cole, and here to help us understand body positivity in children is Dr. Katelyn Anderson. She's a Licensed Pediatric Psychologist at Children's Health of Orange County.

Dr. Anderson, I'm so glad you could join us again today. And as we think of body positivity and our children and the mental health epidemic we've been seeing, have you seen an increase in depression, anxiety, anxiety related disorders, and even eating disorders over the course of the last few years?

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: Hi, Melanie. Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm so happy to be here. And I think your question is a super salient one. Unfortunately, the answer is yes, a resounding yes. We have seen these rates of depression and anxiety increase, I would say since the pandemic, but also really in the past decade or so, this kind of shift in the way kids navigate their world and with the influx of social media and screens, we're seeing a lot more challenges with anxiety, depression, and my area of interest and expertise is eating disorders and seeing, unfortunately, more kids who are really struggling with their body and with weight and shape and the way that eating relates to all of those things.

Host: So I think the big question, and we're going to get into the signs and we're going to get into how we can help our children with that body positivity and to feel better about themselves and in their own skin. But do you have any theories? I mean, I do, I have my own theories. But do you have any theories as to why? Do you feel that social media combination back in the day of the seventies and eating disorders and Karen Carpenter, and you're probably way too young for that. But they blamed magazines and models. But now we have social media with the same skinny, beautiful, perfect house, perfect image. Social media has contributed to this longing that we all have for something on the other side. Do you agree with me there? Do you have any theories of your own?

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: Oh, 100%. I mean, I really think, in the generations that have come between when I grew up pre smartphone, and now the generation that's coming into childhood and adolescence with smartphones connected to them, you can't untangle those things. They're, I think, really intricately connected.

Social media really threatens body positivity because there's so much reinforcement of this idea that certain body types and beauty standards are more valuable than others. And now I think we're really, up against it because, our social media feed can not only show our friends and celebrities looking a certain way, but it also creates these filters, that show ourselves in a different light.

And you imagine that for kiddos, it's really, tough to unwind some of the messaging that they get when they get on social media.

Host: I agree. And I mean, now, like you say, with AI and all of these things, I get the envy of the houses. They show these cabins and these lovely things and you're like, oh man, you know, so I can see that for our kids that don't know how to process and navigate this and put it into a different compartment in their brain, that it can be consuming. So how do we know as parents if this is happening? If our child has body image issues, how do we know? What are some of those signs?

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: I think a few things to watch out for that parents can kind of tune into is really, kids starting to be overly self critical. Maybe they're asking more for reassurance about their appearance or just saying really negative or harsh things about themselves. You might see that they're struggling to get out the door on time.

Maybe they're changing their clothes multiple times. Nothing's feeling just right or spending a lot of time kind of perfecting their appearance, so to speak. And I think that those patterns and really hearing more of that negative self talk, are some good, important signs for parents to flag in their minds that your kiddo may be really struggling with their body image and really struggling with kind of their feelings about themselves.

Host: That negative self talk. It's something that I think especially we women have done to ourselves. And we look in the mirror and we say, Oh, I'm so fat. Or when did my thighs get that big? And we want to make sure that we do not say that in front of our children. So as parents, we've been hearing over the last few years, and I'm an exercise physiologist. So we've learned about this back in school and everything. When we're looking in the mirror and our kids are around us and we want to use words like healthy and strong and this sort of thing, we have to separate, right? Dr. Anderson, we have to separate our own negative self talk and what we're saying to ourselves in the mirror, to what we're saying in front of our children.

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: Absolutely. And I think for parents doing some kind of, you know, zooming out a little bit and understanding more about diet culture in our society in general, and how it's impacting not only our kids, but first thinking about how has it impacted us depending on where we are. When we grew up, the messages that we've received from our family of origin too, and I think caregivers doing a bit of self reflection and examination around their own relationship with their bodies and with food and their image is a really good starting place to support their kids.

Understanding, oh my goodness, while it looks different, I've also been absolutely influenced by a culture that has told me that there's one way to look and to be, and striving for that makes me a better person. So I think first checking in with yourself, and your own internal narratives, and then noticing how is that actually playing out day to day and where are the areas where your kiddos may be really soaking in some of that messaging.

For example. talking about your own body in front of a mirror or talking about food in a way, that is really connected to body image, right? Oh, I had such a cheat day yesterday. Now I need to make sure I go to the gym today. So, our influence really can't be overstated on our kiddos.

So, taking some time to really check in with ourselves and then catching some of those statements and shifting them a little bit, right? Kind of shifting them for ourselves, but also shifting what we are saying in front of our kids, is really going to be important.

Host: Well, it is, and I'm glad you brought up even the food, because if we say, Oh, that's so fattening, or should you be eating that? Or I shouldn't be eating this. It's too fattening. Or cheat days, like you say. Those are all real big triggers right there. Now, besides checking in with ourselves, watching what we say and do around our kids and being this role model that we want to be; what are some tools to support that positive mental health in teens? Give us some things we can do at home, whether it's exercise with our kids, yoga, meditation, whatever it is. And while you're telling us that, what are some signs that we need to seek professional help?

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: So I love where you kind of started, right? With, thinking about the messages that we as parents and caregivers are kind of filtering through to our children starting there. But I think adopting an all food fits mentality and also adopting really a supportive and nurturing relationship with movement is going to be really helpful for your kiddos mental health and their quality of life. So allowing all foods and also talking about food in a way that really emphasizes, fueling our body, giving our body what it needs. Maybe instead of saying, we don't eat sugar in this household. We can talk more about food as, how does it fuel us? We may need more of some foods to feel really great and energized, and there's days where we need less of some other foods.

I think keeping food neutral, can really support kiddos, especially as they're kind of connecting food and their body to ideas of self worth. Also getting out and getting active. I think getting active as a family, like you had hinted at, can be a really helpful way to support kids relationship with their body and develop a relationship that notices and appreciates what my body can do for me. When kids are really exposed to these messages of diet culture early on, our body can be something that is just seen as something that needs to be shaped or shifted or, fit into an ideal standard. But when we think about incorporating movement and activity in a way that really encourages kids to notice all the wonderful things that our body does for us, regardless of how it looks compared to all these idealized images that we see.

And really being neutral about our body too. I think being body positive is a wonderful goal, but for some kids it's being neutral. It might not be I love my legs today, but maybe it's like, you know what? My legs helped me get all the way on my bike to the park. And that's pretty cool. In terms of really noticing and catching early warning signs that your kiddo needs other help, I would say, if you start to see that your kid is avoiding certain activities, refusing to go on these family bike rides because maybe they are so self conscious about somebody seeing them, wearing different clothes or really changing the way that they're interacting with you and friends on a day to day basis, and this is going on a long time; that could definitely be some signs that your kiddo could use a little bit of extra support, right? And of course, any concerns around intentional weight loss that is extreme or intentional shifting of their behaviors to try to achieve a certain appearance that again is getting to a place where they're not going about it in a way that's measured or supported by you all or by a doctor, I think could be some signs that you could reach out for help and your pediatrician is a great place to start as well.

Host: Certainly, and striving for that perfection that these kids are seeing today has got to be demoralizing for them. And resilience is so important to really be able to, if they are going to be on social media, withstand that pull, that need to see these influencers and this and that, and don't they look all perfect?

And I mean, this is really a good topic. And I think it's so important for our kiddos to see, to notice, and for parents to hear. So Dr. Anderson, as we wrap up, the best ideas that you've got for parents about how we can let our kids know the magnificence of our bodies, of ourselves, how awesome we are and how awesome they are, so that they're not looking for that next best thing or a way to be something that they're not.

Katelyn Anderson, PhD: We really want to help kids hold this belief that their body is valuable and it is beautiful regardless of how it stacks up against the societal standard. So I think that really supporting parents to check in, listen to their kids, validate the things that they're coming up against that are really, really hard.

And also soak in as much as possible, more of like a positive, affirming voice. If we look at, kids kind of daily affirmations, like learning to be our own best cheerleader instead of our own worst critic, and how that helps us to feel empowered and supported. I've seen a lot of really awesome books out there for really young kids about starting early with appreciating our bodies, and kind of repeating these mantras to ourselves of like, I am strong, capable, beautiful.

These messages that can kind of hopefully help to buffer and then combat some of the negative and challenging messages that seep into everyday life as kids get older and exposed to more and more.

Host: Well, you have given us a lot to think about Dr. Anderson, and thank you again for joining us. You're just an excellent guest. And thank you for sharing your expertise on this important topic and for more mental health and wellness tips and information please visit choc.org/mentalhealth. Thank you so much for listening to Long Live Childhood, a pediatric health and wellness podcast presented by Children's Health of Orange County.

Together, we can keep kids happy and healthy. And we'd like to invite our audience to download, subscribe, rate, and review Long Live Childhood on Apple podcast, iHeart, Spotify, and Pandora. I'm Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for joining us today.