Transcription:
The Path to Parenthood: Tips for Expectant Parents

Deborah Howell (Host): bringing home your new baby for the first time. You know, it might very well be the most exciting and the most scary time of your life, And while there's no life manual, there is support. And a lot of it. Let's find out about planning for life with your new baby, with a mother and professional who can talk about it in a personal way.

Rachel Kradin is a loving mother of two toddlers herself, and is also a Perinatal Social Worker at Emerson Hospital. This is Health Works Here, the podcast from Emerson Hospital. And I'm Deborah Howell. Rachel, thanks for being with us today.

Rachel Kradin, MSW (Guest): Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Host: Great to have you back. So, having a baby is really exciting, but can also change your life as you know it. What are some tips for expectant parents to consider as they transition into their new role as parents?

Rachel: This is a great question and something that I think that we tend to forget to consider or think about. I think sometimes we're, we know all the list of the baby items we need, the gear, the clothing, the fun things that you get at the baby showers. But I think there's a lot of work that can really benefit parents going into their delivery before bringing baby home, that would make a big difference in, in how this transition goes. So, I think of it sort of in terms of both practical and some of the more emotional preparation that can happen. So, if we thought of it that way, sort of on the practical side of things, definitely trying to find a way to get some childbirth education in there, especially for first-time parents and really all births are different.

And it's always nice to know what to expect. So, if you haven't already, and it, and it's been a little bit different with COVID and the pandemic and there's not as much in-person happening, but there are classes online and also sometimes in-person and actually Emerson Hospital has through their Wellness Center, a bunch of different classes that parents can take, in anticipation of the delivery, childbirth education, infant CPR. So, I definitely encourage people to check that out. There's also online classes, if that's not something that people have access to. More of the practical things, definitely thinking about who makes sense to be your child's pediatrician.

Making sure they have the insurance, they take the insurance that you have. And thinking through, we all want to have the pediatrician with the best reviews or that we get a recommendation from a friend or colleague, but it's a good idea to think about who is located close to you as well. You want to remember that you're going to be going to the pediatrician quite a bit in the beginning, in the first days, weeks, months. And also thinking about, is this a distance I would want to drive if God forbid, my baby was sick. So, you want to be close by. Other things to think about if you're a mom who wants to breastfeed, does the pediatric practice have a lactation consultant as part of their staff? That's really nice to have this sort of a one-stop shop to get a lot of your needs met.

And so those are some things I definitely encourage people to think about. Other things to think about are, if your pediatrician does not have a lactation consultant on staff and you are planning to breastfeed, it's nice to just have someone, you know, in the back of your head that you know, this is the phone number. This is the person I would call if I needed some support with that. If you haven't been a breastfeeding mom or a pumping mom before, you know that, you don't know what you don't know until you don't know it. So, it is not uncommon to have, you know, sort of bumps in the road. And so, I would assume that it's, it would be a benefit to check in with a lactation consultant. Programs like WIC women, infants and children through the public benefits and the government also have a breastfeeding peer support.

So, if you qualify for those programs, it's definitely good to check those out. That being said, if you are someone who has a lower income or some financial stresses, definitely making sure that, you know, what programs are out there. Asking to talk to the hospital social worker here at Emerson. I'm able to meet with in-person, on zoom, on, by phone with patients while they're still pregnant to help make sure that they are getting all the support that they're eligible to receive. And that can really make a big difference in this time. Another tip that I always like to share is get some little kits together for yourself at home. So, getting ready for baby to come, you're not just going to always be sitting in the baby's room, probably. So, putting together little baskets of, you know, some diapers, some wipes, some water for yourself, some energy bars you know, magazines, just the things that you will need to kind of live really with your baby once you get home from the hospital. It's nice to kind of have those set up a bit.

The sort of emotional preparation for things, the thing that I really think is important to do is to think about and focus on the idea of baby proofing your relationship. You've probably got things to baby proof your house, you know, down the line, but baby proofing your relationship is really important.

We know, you know, through research, that the first year after a baby comes, it can be really stressful on a relationship and while it's a wonderful experience, it can be really hard. If you think about it, your you don't have all of your usual coping skills at your fingertips. Whether it's lack of sleep, baby not being able to be on a real schedule.

Those are things that people really tend to rely on in their regular life to manage their stresses. Any kind of challenge that you may already have in communication with your partner. Those kinds of things tend to get magnified when we're both exhausted. And we don't have all the same kind of supports at our fingertips.

Currently a lot of people are being more cautious around COVID and the pandemic and those exposures. And while we are on our way to hopefully getting back to a little bit more normal, the experts are still telling us that this is something we should probably anticipate getting used to. So, making sure that you and your partner are on the same page about what your comfort level is with, you know, meeting new people after the baby is born, bringing your friends and family in. And I suggest to people always that they really think through and put a lot of weight on their mental health, especially in the postpartum and make sure that when you're making those decisions, that feel so important in the moment of, you know, who is going to be allowed to meet the baby; when, what does that look like; that you're really taking into consideration your own mental health and would it look like if you did get to a place where you were really needing the support and find a way to get that support from hopefully family and friends in a way that you still can feel comfortable and safe with.

So those, you know, idea of baby proofing your relationship is really a good one. And, you know, thinking about would counseling be helpful if you haven't already you know, investigated that. Definitely thinking through, you know, what are your values? Do they sort of align and anticipate and give each other some space to know that things may change.

You may be thinking about things a little bit differently, and to just know that, that could come up. The last thing I wanted to mention is just around postpartum planning. I think that process is probably the single most important thing that you could do as a expectant parent. And there's definitely lots of tools out there to do it.

So, thinking about and being really strategic in how you use your support system that already exists, think about the friends, family, everyone who's saying, what can I do to help. The lasagnas and the food and the meal trains are wonderful and never say no to that. But thinking about other things too. Think about, you know, who might be able to help you get a little bit of sleep by coming over during the day. Who might be able to help pick up groceries. I've had families who have said, you know, I threw a load of laundry in the laundry basket out on the front porch. My friend came and picked it up, washed it, folded it, brought it back. And that felt like a really safe COVID friendly kind of idea as well. So, there's definitely resources out there to help you think through those types of things.

And I would say that those become especially important if you're someone who either you've had a baby before and experienced any kind of postpartum depression or anxiety, or if you have that in your history and know that's something that could come up for you, it's really important that you're thinking through, so that you don't have to sort of rack your brain in the moment. And write it down. So, it may sound silly, but write down the friend's names and phone numbers when you're exhausted and you don't really have that kind of mental capacity to think about much. It will be really nice to just have that right there when you need it.

Host: Such good advice, Rachel. So, that was a big, long list. How can new parents find the time to take care for their own physical and mental health with a newborn so that they're, you know, a little bit better positioned to enjoy the joys of parenthood?

Rachel: Absolutely. And that is a very important thing. Just like when you go on the airplane and the flight attendant announcement says, you know, in case of an emergency, please put your mask on first and then assist, you know, a child next to you. You need to fill your own bucket. If you're not there and don't have, you know, basics, I'm talking water, food, sleep, if you don't have those basics, it's really hard and to show up in the way that you want to as a parent.

So, I think one thing is just to educate yourself. And have your partner also be educated in knowing what the signs and symptoms are for baby blues versus postpartum depression or anxiety. We talked about that in a previous podcast, if you'd want more information. There's also some information available out there through Emerson's website, about what other mental health resources are in our community here and around Emerson Hospital. Emersonhospital.org/mentalhealthresources. So, those are some really good, you know, things to know about so that you can plan accordingly. Making sure that the awareness of how to monitor what signs and symptoms could come up for baby blues or postpartum depression. And then what will your action plan be? Knowing who to call. You can always talk to your OB. In fact, they want to know about that. You can always call me or any other social worker in the area.

And then again, on the practical side of things you want to think about getting out in the fresh air, going out for exercise. Right now, we're in the middle of January and it's cold and it seems like, oh, I won't be going outside for months. But I always say sort of like a perspective shift there, is think about people in really cold countries in Scandinavia and Russia, they've have their babies outside in wintertime and it, you know, the fresh air can be good and just dress accordingly. If you're feeling like you'll wait till it's a little bit warmer, that makes sense too. And I always suggest for exercise purposes and just getting out for a nice walk. It doesn't have to be long. Can just be a walk around the house inside the house or outside, I should say.

But I always really recommend wearing your baby. So, if baby wearing is something that you are not familiar with, there's actually a website called baystatebabywearers. There's lots of information about all the different kinds of gadgets for wearing your baby. And sometimes, it takes a little bit of trial and error to find the one that works for you.

But I definitely, you know, developmentally, babies really like that more than even your nice fancy stroller. I'd save that until they're a few months older. Keeping baby on you, wearing baby close to you, makes baby feel nice, warm, secure, and also happens to strengthen your core a little bit.

So, that's something that especially new moms are often wanting to do. Then just doing some meal prep, and that can be something that you can ask, loved ones to do and drop off if you are being cautious about who comes in the house, but some healthy snacks you can grab on the go, high in protein, fresh veggies and fruit.

I always hear from moms saying, you know, I think it took me about four hours to finally eat my lunch today because of having to respond to baby so much. So, when you can have stuff that's already prepared and easy to grab, you're going to always make sure that your blood sugar stays where it needs to. And you're just kind of positioned as well as you can be. Sometimes it's helpful to hire, look into hiring postpartum doulas or if you're in a position and feeling good about hiring, you know, even a night nurse. We have a lot of those types of labor support people and postpartum support people in our area.

So, there's a lot of information out there. And then I would just say too, beware of the lure of social media and the Instagrammable moments that you're seeing from other new moms out there. It's, you will find out quickly that is not the norm. And you know, as much as you're willing and able to be kind of vulnerable and real in that and not be too hung up on trying to be the picture perfect new parent, the better people tend to do, I think emotionally and in terms of their mental health.

So, I think those are just a few things that you could do.

Host: So, Rachel, what resources are available for new parents if they find themselves needing a little extra support?

Rachel: We are very lucky here in Massachusetts and here in our area that there is a lot available and we're lucky too on the online community, there is a lot available right now. I have to say we're facing a little bit of a mental health crisis in a few different ways, but one of them is that with COVID, some people have been able to access mental health remotely, or virtually seeing therapists through Tele-health, which is wonderful, but it's also made it a little bit challenging to find a therapist that's taking patients sometimes, let alone someone who's also taking your insurance.

So, there are some things that you can do kind of as you're waiting, if getting counseling would be helpful to you. Again, there's lots of support groups out there. I run one through Emerson Hospital, but there's a ton of support through agencies like Postpartum Support International, locally here, we have another family resource center, First Connections that runs a bunch of different groups for new moms. For moms that are struggling emotionally after baby in particular and for new dads. There's also a ton of support out there and some real specialized support too. Postpartum Support International, as I just mentioned is just the number of groups they have there, that focus on all different things that people can sort of really identify with is amazing.

They have groups for moms who have OCD. They have groups for moms who are from south Asian countries and are living here specifically, you know, going through that type of experience. They have groups for dads, they have groups for families who had a baby in the NICU and the list just kind of goes on and on.

So, that is another really great resource. On a practical side, if you're someone who could benefit from resources that could help alleviate financial stress, programs like Mass211 it's actually a phone number you can call as well as a website you can visit. Every state has one. And you simply put in your zip code and you can search through there. Where can I get diapers, if I felt like I needed diapers? Where kind of get help with my electric bill? Where could I get help signing up for insurance? So, some of those things can really be helpful.

Again, of course your OB will always be a good source of support and your pediatrician should it be a good source of support as well. The pediatrician definitely, the trend now is that they're also asking, because they know how important mom's mental health is for the baby to be doing well. And for attachment and all of those really important things.

So, pediatricians routinely are now screening moms for postpartum depression, screening families for financial or resource needs. And you should definitely feel like your pediatrician cares about you. Most people definitely have that experience with their OB during the prenatal period. And then sometimes it's this big shift of feeling like, wow, I had all this support and now I'm not seeing anyone that's really focused on me, you know, every month or every week.

And that can be a little challenging. That's something that moms talk about a lot. So, definitely making sure that you feel like you have a good connection with your pediatrician and here through Emerson, we have a lot of wonderful pediatricians out in the community and can help people connect with someone that really meets their needs.

So those are, I think just some of the many resources that are out there for a new parents. And personally I can say as the Perinatal Social Worker here on the mother-baby unit, I'm always happy to talk to expecting parents, perspective parents, new parents and help them kind of look at their needs and where they are and how I can best kind of support them.

Host: Rachel you are a wealth of information. Thank you so much for your time today. And for all you do.

Rachel: Thank you.

Host: That's Rachel Kradin, a Perinatal Social Worker at Emerson Hospital. Please visit Emersonhospital.org/baby for information about giving birth at Emerson Hospital's Clough Birthing Center. Thanks for listening to Emerson's Health Works Here podcast.

Subscribe to this podcast on your favorite podcast source, including Apple podcasts, Google play music and Spotify. And if you enjoyed what you heard, give us a like, or a follow. I'm Deborah Howell. Thanks for listening and have yourself a terrific day.