Scott Webb (Host): If you're like me, you make New Year's resolutions every year. And despite our best efforts, we end up falling a little short and maybe sometimes feeling like we've failed. I'm joined today by Dr. Kumari Singh. She's a board-certified family medicine physician at Franciscan Health, and she's going to help us to develop healthy habits and set achievable and rewarding New Year's resolutions.

This is the Franciscan Health DocPod. I'm Scott Webb. Doctor, how are you doing?

Dr. Kumari Singh: I'm doing great today. How are you doing, Scott?

Host: I'm great, and it's great to have you here. And it's the right time of year to be talking about New Year's resolutions and how to make, you know, sort of healthy ones, achievable ones, so that none of us feel disappointed. And I think we all do that, right, doctor? Every year we make these resolutions, and we're all in for a couple of weeks, and we're really committed and diligent. And then, we find ourselves kind of losing the drive and momentum. So, let's talk about maybe changing the mindset and approach for the new year and how we can set achievable and rewarding New Year's resolutions. How do we do that?

Dr. Kumari Singh: A lot of people love resolutions and some people are just in that mindset that they may fail anyway, but it really just takes 21 days to form a good habit. So, now that like Thanksgiving is behind us, soon Christmas will be behind us, it's a good time to think, "Hey, maybe I'll start eating healthier, exercising more." And even if you don't believe in resolutions, I think it's great because it's the beginning of the year, there's known events where you're going to start eating unhealthy again. So if you just can keep up a good habit for 21 days, then you may set yourself up for a better outcome for the rest of the year.

Host: Yeah. All right. So, 21 days, I like that. That seems very realistic and achievable. So, let's go through the steps then. How do we set a plan for these kind of reasonable goals for that 21 days?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Well, I think it's important to start small, do things that you think could be achievable to you. Little things like maybe not eating out more than once a week. Just trying to eat more at home. You'll save money. We print off our recipes and put them in a binder and so that kind of helps as well. That's one thing you can do, and it'll make you eat healthier foods.

Host: Yeah. Eating healthier, never a bad plan, whether it's part of a New Year's resolution or just anytime, right?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Yeah, absolutely. It kind of sets you up with just feeling better for the rest of the week. So if you can do that one thing, then that'll motivate you to be able to achieve other goals. Exercise is one that I know is very, very popular. Everyone thinks it's the beginning of the year. We're going to work off those Christmas cookies. And so, let's get into a good exercise routine. Sometimes the goals we set can be really big and hard to achieve, like "I'm going to work out, you know, five days a week, and I'm going to do 30-minute workouts and just get very muscular." And I think that it's okay to like set big goals because sometimes you're like, "I'm going to do it five days," but you can hit it three or even four days. But I'm the opposite. I'm like, if I can just do 10 or 15 minutes before work, I'm like, that is good. And then, if anybody wants anything from me for the rest of the day, at least I've done this one thing for myself. And so, you just feel more calm for the rest of the day, and you're able to, I would say, just deal with the rest of the stresses throughout the day. I think one of the reasons why we fall through on that one is that people are not always consistent with their bedtime and you feel like if you haven't slept enough, you know, maybe you should sleep in so that you're at least rested for work.

But that kind of comes to another routine or resolution you can set, and that's a consistent bedtime. One of the barriers to a good bedtime is having like a wind-down time before bed. So, maybe just like an hour before bed or you can hang out with your spouse and spend more time with just wind-down activities like reading. So, set yourself up for like an hour before you actually want to sleep to just wind down, and sort of do more boring, calming activities.

Host: Maybe turn off the phone. You know, I find that using the phone right up until the time I fall asleep or sometimes falling asleep with my phone in my hand is contributing to the lack of quality sleep or sort of uneasy sleep because my mind was racing, you know, right before I fell asleep. Is that good advice? Maybe shut those phones off, yeah?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Absolutely. Because I think that you think, okay, it winds you down and it calms you down, but you don't realize your brain is still active then and more so, you know, afterwards when you're sleeping. So, maybe just putting that phone on the other side of the room or even on the other side of the bed and then it's like a small little barrier that you make for yourself so you don't feel tempted to look up that last email.

Host: And it is so tempting, you know, if it's within reach, it's just so tempting. So, as you say, one of the reasons that people maybe "fail" is that they set the bar way too high. "I'm going to work out every day for 30 minutes or 30 to 60 minutes," when the reality is for most of us, just finding 10 or 15 minutes is maybe more attainable, right? A reachable goal for us. But when we think about the basics of health, sleeping more, eating better, better nutrition, more movement, all of those kinds of things, does that contribute? Are those easy ways to sort of feel like we're succeeding with those New Year's resolutions?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Yeah, I think just setting them to be achievable. Honestly, we'll fail plenty of times before we reach our goal, but it's important to feel resilient in your efforts, that's part of the process. And so, it's bound to happen, you know, some days you may not get that exercise or you may end up ordering pizza, but it's all part of the process. So, resilience is so key in getting back on track and tenaciousness and just getting back into it.

Host: Yes, I wanted to ask you, you know, how do we stay inspired? What tips do you have? As you say, some days we just feel like ordering pizza, and that's okay, right? But how do we then get back on track and get inspired again to start trying to, you know, keep up with those resolutions?

Dr. Kumari Singh: I think it's really important to have like positive affirmation. Sometimes a journal can help. It just reminds you of things that are good and things that you've done and to congratulate yourself on the small feats that you've made. Sometimes people like to have a board in their room where they put all their goals on it, even like Post-Its on your mirror, just to have some self-compassion. Stop some of those intrusive thoughts that make you feel like you haven't gotten to where you want to be. So, just rewording and rephrasing your thinking helps. Sometimes a mantra can help people. It's important to live in the present and take a moment to just step back and appreciate the little things that you've done, or just little things that, you know, have come to achieve and overcome.

It's so easy to pick at our flaws and insecurities, especially when something doesn't go as planned and, you know, you feel like you're in a crummy mood, but it's important to tell yourself that, yes, you can do this and you got this, and that you have the potential, and you usually have to trust the process and believe that you can get there.

Host: Yeah. The process, for sure. And a lot of times these are sort of physical things. But I know that it's important that we also stay sort of fit, if you will, but to stay healthy and active and how that contributes to our mental and emotional health. So, maybe you have some suggestions about that, about how we can stay sort of mentally and emotionally strong while we're doing the other physical things too.

Dr. Kumari Singh: Yeah. Cognitive behavioral therapy is really important. So, I think it's important to just rewire your thinking in the moment and sort of just live in the present and you may have goals that like, you know, clean up your home and you don't have to Marie Kondo and we don't have to be perfect in our goals. We just have to be better than we were yesterday and compare ourselves to who we were yesterday rather than, you know, to the different people we see on Instagram or YouTube. Or you just have to trust that you've done better than yesterday or better than maybe even last week.

Host: It's one of the things I want to touch on with you is just this concept of being proactive versus reacting to things, but being really proactive about planning meals, rest, workouts, those kinds of things. Maybe you can discuss the benefits of just being proactive about these things.

Dr. Kumari Singh: Being proactive is so important. It's so important to plan for things, just even little plans. Like, if you give yourself one task to do that day, just make sure you get that one task done. You may have a list of things that you want to do as well. And if you get more things done, that's great. But just having maybe one thing, one goal that you want to achieve that day. And if you can get to that goal, then it'll make you possibly want to do other things on your list. So, setting up little things can help you be proactive. I love lists. I think it's great to cross things out. Or even boards, just having sticky tabs somewhere that you can just remove that, that feels so good to cross out and remove a Post-It or, you know, little things like that can be motivating.

Host: I always think of it just sort of allow myself a little grace, a little forgiveness. And yeah, what I try to do is not start a bunch of projects and then have a bunch of things that I didn't finish or that are sort of like in limbo in process. You know, so some days I'll just say, "Okay, this may not be the most important thing that needs to get done, but I'm going to see this through. I'm going to finish this one thing before I move on to something else." Because it's so tempting to start here and then move over there. And the next thing you know, you've got 16 projects that you haven't finished, rIght?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Yeah, that definitely happens with people as well. I do find that also one thing that can motivate people for goals is like having something planned out in the future. Like, if you have, you know, a trip that you want to go on, or you have a doctor's appointment, some of that can motivate you too, because you know you'll do a weigh in, and if you have any troubleshooting that you wanted help with, such as how can I get better at exercising, or what are little things I can do, you have a doctor's appointment that you can discuss that with or you have a vacation plan and setting up little goals throughout the year that are kind of milestones, it's important to remember that these habits take a long time to form. And so, you can think, "Okay, this year I'm going to eat healthy and I'm going to work out and I'm going to lose all this weight and I'm going to get all these muscles." But people in my clinic that do come in and have succeeded in getting to, you know, that weight goal or that health goal, it's taken them over like years to do. And so, it doesn't happen overnight. And so, yeah, you do have to cut yourself some slack.

Host: Yeah, I love that. Well, it's been great to speak with you today, get to know you a little bit. When it comes to those New Year's resolutions, we often set the bar maybe a little bit too high. And I think as we've discussed here today, you know, be reasonable, allow yourself some setbacks and just keep trying, just keep plugging away, try to make some positive change or positive difference as often as you can, right?

Dr. Kumari Singh: Yeah, just pick a few things for yourself and just come back to those things and maybe write it down somewhere and that'll help you remember that those are your goals.

Host: Awesome. Well, Doctor, thanks so much for joining me today. I appreciate it, and you stay well.

Dr. Kumari Singh: Thank you, Scott. It was great talking to you as well.

Host: And to find a primary care doctor near you, go to franciscanhealth.org and select Find a Provider near the top of the page. And if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels and be sure to check out the full podcast library for additional topics of interest. This is the Franciscan Health Doc Pod. I'm Scott Webb. Stay well, and we'll talk again next time.