Selected Podcast
How to Have a Happy Holiday -- Coping With a COVID Christmas
Dr. Ajay Sharma shares his insight on how to handle different emotions doing the holidays, especially with COVID this year.
Featuring:
Dr. Sharma completed his residency in general psychiatry from Delaware Psychiatric Center and fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry from Thomas Jefferson University Hospital Philadelphia. During his training he received outstanding resident award by American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. He is also certified by American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
Ajay Sharma, MD
Ajay Sharma, M.D., is a child psychiatrist who specializes in psychiatric evaluations. He is experienced in treating very young children, teenagers as well as adults. He diagnose and treat ADHD, Autism, Anxiety disorders, Bipolar disorder, Depressive disorders, Psychotic disorders including Schizophrenia, PTSD and Obsessive and Compulsive disorder.Dr. Sharma completed his residency in general psychiatry from Delaware Psychiatric Center and fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry from Thomas Jefferson University Hospital Philadelphia. During his training he received outstanding resident award by American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. He is also certified by American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.
Transcription:
Scott Webb: This holiday season is unlike any other that any of us has ever experienced, but that doesn't mean that we can't have fun, connect with family and friends and maybe even develop some new family traditions. Joining me today to help offer some suggestions for how we can all be happy this holiday season, is Dr. Ajay Sharma. He's a Child Psychiatrist with Genesis. This is Sounds of Good Health with Genesis brought to you by Genesis Healthcare System. I'm Scott Webb. Doctor, thanks so much for joining me. You know, the holidays can be a tough time for those who've lost loved ones or find this time of year depressing anyway, and this year might be extra challenging for both children and adults during the pandemic. So what are some of the most common types of concerns you're hearing from people right now? And what suggestions can you offer them?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: The holidays are tough for most people anyways, and it's even harder for people who have lost loved ones. And COVID is also making things worse. So for the people who lost somebody, I would advise them to one, acknowledge the feelings. Okay. Holiday does not mean that you're automatically happy. So if someone close to you recently died or you can't be with the loved ones, so it's okay. It's normal to feel sad. It's okay to give a time for cry or express yourself. You can't be just happy because the holiday season. Second thing that I want to say is reach out either with their friends, or church or if they have a counselor or a doctor, so reach out so that, things can be normalized. Okay. Other options, they can also be like, include something else, like volunteering or doing something for others. Or if you lost somebody doing something which they think the person they lost was, would have loved to do, or they would love to see them doing it. Be realistic.
Holidays are never same and this year will be much different than usual. So as families grow, the traditions usually gradually change. You can keep some, but always, there's room for new ones. And you can let some go as I've seen in my life, in my patients that oh everybody used to come to my house, but now they can't because my son is married now so half the time they have to go to his wife's home, his wife's family. We can still celebrate together, maybe sharing videos, sharing pictures, emails, or even doing few things as a video and about the concerns, most concerns which we hear during holidays is a family dispute as well as the financial, that's the probably biggest concern I hear people that I have to see this cousin or my aunt or my uncle and I don't get along with them at all. So suggestion I would give them to is number one, set aside the difference. So look at the bigger picture. Yes, you are going to see one person you don't like, but you're going to see another 25 people you love. So second thing is for financial concern, which is a really, really hard for most people. I think that's one of the biggest causes of a post-holiday blues, people do shopping initially. And then when the bills start pouring in, they get stuck, what to do now. So I advise them to stick to budget and plan ahead.
And biggest thing is learn to say no. That's I think, for both family differences, as well as, financially. They have to learn how to say no. There are a lot of people who can't say no to the kids. Older people, I've seen kids, even they're grown-up kids want this, this and this, and they don't know how to say no. And although they are on limited income or with the families, the mom wants to bring somebody who they don't get long and they still have to go. So they have to learn how to say no.
Scott Webb: You know I know that all of us humans, that is, need touch and connection. And I think that's been the hardest thing about the pandemic is just not being around people. So how can we get those things when we have to be apart?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: I know people are tired of FaceTime and Zoom. Okay, but I think still there are the two best methods to stay in touch at this time with the family members. Okay. What people are probably not doing, which they can do is that just chatting over the FaceTime or zoom gets boring but if they start doing some other activities, it become more interesting and more creative and probably help them stay in touch more like they can play different games, they can open gifts together. They can decorate the tree together. They can cook together. And they're like four or five family members that are like cooking together. And they can also send some food to somebody who doesn't cook. Get together four or five siblings for a family when there is a loan guy, doesn't cook. So the four are cooking and they can send something to fifth one, and then they were eating, all five were eating together. And if they really wants to do in person, I would suggest them, number one, limit the number of attendees as much as possible.
Hold a celebration outside if you can. And provide the supplies like mask, hand sanitizer. And, biggest thing is if they can suggest people that can use, kind of stay on quarantine like14 days before that try not to meet other people. If you're staying in home for 14 days, everybody's staying in the home 14 days and travel by the car, chances are they're probably okay to get together as a family. But it has to be done with caution and not too many people.
Scott Webb: You know I think that's going to be the challenge here is those traditions that we're used to going to grandma's house and big family gatherings and all these just general holiday celebrations through work or otherwise, it's just figuring out how to fill those voids. And how do we do that? How can we somehow make this holiday special even when we have this feeling that it might not be?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Most traditions are made by someone at some time. Okay. And all of us keep growing. So we may have to let some traditions go and make some new ones. I'll give you a suggestion, like company I've worked with, we used to have a Christmas party every year. This year couldn't happen. So instead of doing a Christmas party, we did a kind of online painting class. So we gave every staff, the painting supplies, and we have our teacher who are in the class and everybody's in their home with the Zoom and they can, if they want to drink, they can open a wine bottle of, they can, want to dance after that they can dance. So we're trying to do something more productive way, but keeping safety. I think that's the way to go. So they let some traditions go and make some new ones.
Scott Webb: Let's talk about kids. You're a child psychiatrist. The holidays are an exciting time for kids as we've talked about, especially with their parents who can't say no. So how can we make this holiday memorable for our kids? What are some signs that kids, you know, might be distressed or depressed during the holidays?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Kids are very excited about Christmas. Probably Christmas is the most favorite holiday for majority of kids in, across the board, if not, at least in the US probably across the board. Okay. And yes, they are excited and some of them are depressed, but one thing I will let you know that kids are much more adaptable than we give them credit for. I'll give you an example. There was a - I was looking at a letter written buy I think an eight-year-old on the internet on social media, the kid wrote to, I think governor of the state that if the health department allows, can Santa come in to my house wearing a mask.
And I will leave cookies with the hand sanitizer. So that kind of things, kids can be creative and yes, kids can get depressed and signs of depression, in kids is different than the signs of depression in adults. So most common signs of depression in kids is irritability and anger. They may cry. They have mood swings. They will not be just sad and sitting in one room, like isolating, like most adults. So they have more irritability and anger. They can have difficult concentrating. Their grades might start slipping. They may have difficulty sleeping, restless and they talk about, we are bored all the time.
So help them okay. The first thing is, as we talking early, is kids are very adaptable. So if you give them enough support, they can progress very well during this tough time of COVID including holidays. First, I will encourage them to spend time with their friends. Okay. Friends are integral part of kid's life.
They learn so many things from friends, which we think they cannot, but they do. And for them it's easier to take things from friends than from caregivers. Okay. For that, like if they can't go in person, which I said, probably not until it's, you know, family, and there's just a couple of people there, so they should play online games or just online chatting so they can with text, do some watch together movies, some screen time for each other, and then parents should provide extra reassurance. Then stay in touch with family and friends and most important thing which parents can do is encourage kids to talk about their feelings, help them recognize their feelings, which a lot of people don't do.
I have seen people like parents are screaming at the kids that I'm giving you everything. What is making you sad? Why are they sad? Or you can't be sad. So you can be sad is very bad call because how can you decide what kids are feeling or what kids should feel? So I think we should teach our parents and encourage them to talk to the kids about feeling and next tradition should be a stick to a daily purpose daily routine. If there's no structure, no routine, kids start feeling more depressed, more anxious. Then they can adopt a pet, which is very good. And if they have pet, probably that keeps them busy and keep them some, if there's no human touch at least there were still a touch, most pets especially dogs and cats they come and get into laps and kids really like it. So I would suggest kids who, again, a focus on providing support and kids are very adaptable. They will come out with flying colors if parents can support them.
Scott Webb: As we get close to wrapping up here, when you think about kids who might be suffering from boredom and loneliness, we've given some ideas, but anything else we can help them help our kiddos to just stay engaged and stay productive and just kind of make the best of things?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Best thing is to keep us structure for the day. And keep them busy, give them some time with their friends. Give them some time from you. Like I'll give an example, like my kids are 21 and 12. We have watched so many movies together in this pandemic. Probably we have not watched this in before that in ten years because we will watch movie like before that we, me and my wife watch movie separate because we like Indian movies, they want English movies.
So, but we have watched so many movies together. So many TV shows together. We have played some time cards, some board games. So keep them busy with that too. So give them that they're important. They're loved. They are needed,
Scott Webb: Doctor, as we wrap up here today, anything else you want to tell people about the holidays, how to enjoy them, how to stay connected with people, even though we're apart and you know, how to help our kiddos in the process, anything else?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: So I would suggest to people that during the holidays don't abandon any healthy habits. And take a breather. So, and if things are not going in the right direction, seek professional help, if help is available so they can enjoy the holidays and, for the new year and it will bring some definite hope, especially the vaccine is just around the corner.
Scott Webb: So awesome having you on today, you've got so many amazing and creative ideas. And even though we're apart, to be as creative as possible, make some new memories, some new family memories and traditions along the way. So Doctor, thanks so much for your time today and you stay well.
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Okay. Thank you. And happy holidays.
Scott Webb: To find out more about coping with a COVID Christmas go to Genesishcs.org/behavioralhealth. And thanks for listening to Sounds of Good Health with Genesis brought to you by Genesis Healthcare System. If you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels and check out the full podcast library for additional topics of interest. I'm Scott Webb, happy holidays and stay well.
Scott Webb: This holiday season is unlike any other that any of us has ever experienced, but that doesn't mean that we can't have fun, connect with family and friends and maybe even develop some new family traditions. Joining me today to help offer some suggestions for how we can all be happy this holiday season, is Dr. Ajay Sharma. He's a Child Psychiatrist with Genesis. This is Sounds of Good Health with Genesis brought to you by Genesis Healthcare System. I'm Scott Webb. Doctor, thanks so much for joining me. You know, the holidays can be a tough time for those who've lost loved ones or find this time of year depressing anyway, and this year might be extra challenging for both children and adults during the pandemic. So what are some of the most common types of concerns you're hearing from people right now? And what suggestions can you offer them?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: The holidays are tough for most people anyways, and it's even harder for people who have lost loved ones. And COVID is also making things worse. So for the people who lost somebody, I would advise them to one, acknowledge the feelings. Okay. Holiday does not mean that you're automatically happy. So if someone close to you recently died or you can't be with the loved ones, so it's okay. It's normal to feel sad. It's okay to give a time for cry or express yourself. You can't be just happy because the holiday season. Second thing that I want to say is reach out either with their friends, or church or if they have a counselor or a doctor, so reach out so that, things can be normalized. Okay. Other options, they can also be like, include something else, like volunteering or doing something for others. Or if you lost somebody doing something which they think the person they lost was, would have loved to do, or they would love to see them doing it. Be realistic.
Holidays are never same and this year will be much different than usual. So as families grow, the traditions usually gradually change. You can keep some, but always, there's room for new ones. And you can let some go as I've seen in my life, in my patients that oh everybody used to come to my house, but now they can't because my son is married now so half the time they have to go to his wife's home, his wife's family. We can still celebrate together, maybe sharing videos, sharing pictures, emails, or even doing few things as a video and about the concerns, most concerns which we hear during holidays is a family dispute as well as the financial, that's the probably biggest concern I hear people that I have to see this cousin or my aunt or my uncle and I don't get along with them at all. So suggestion I would give them to is number one, set aside the difference. So look at the bigger picture. Yes, you are going to see one person you don't like, but you're going to see another 25 people you love. So second thing is for financial concern, which is a really, really hard for most people. I think that's one of the biggest causes of a post-holiday blues, people do shopping initially. And then when the bills start pouring in, they get stuck, what to do now. So I advise them to stick to budget and plan ahead.
And biggest thing is learn to say no. That's I think, for both family differences, as well as, financially. They have to learn how to say no. There are a lot of people who can't say no to the kids. Older people, I've seen kids, even they're grown-up kids want this, this and this, and they don't know how to say no. And although they are on limited income or with the families, the mom wants to bring somebody who they don't get long and they still have to go. So they have to learn how to say no.
Scott Webb: You know I know that all of us humans, that is, need touch and connection. And I think that's been the hardest thing about the pandemic is just not being around people. So how can we get those things when we have to be apart?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: I know people are tired of FaceTime and Zoom. Okay, but I think still there are the two best methods to stay in touch at this time with the family members. Okay. What people are probably not doing, which they can do is that just chatting over the FaceTime or zoom gets boring but if they start doing some other activities, it become more interesting and more creative and probably help them stay in touch more like they can play different games, they can open gifts together. They can decorate the tree together. They can cook together. And they're like four or five family members that are like cooking together. And they can also send some food to somebody who doesn't cook. Get together four or five siblings for a family when there is a loan guy, doesn't cook. So the four are cooking and they can send something to fifth one, and then they were eating, all five were eating together. And if they really wants to do in person, I would suggest them, number one, limit the number of attendees as much as possible.
Hold a celebration outside if you can. And provide the supplies like mask, hand sanitizer. And, biggest thing is if they can suggest people that can use, kind of stay on quarantine like14 days before that try not to meet other people. If you're staying in home for 14 days, everybody's staying in the home 14 days and travel by the car, chances are they're probably okay to get together as a family. But it has to be done with caution and not too many people.
Scott Webb: You know I think that's going to be the challenge here is those traditions that we're used to going to grandma's house and big family gatherings and all these just general holiday celebrations through work or otherwise, it's just figuring out how to fill those voids. And how do we do that? How can we somehow make this holiday special even when we have this feeling that it might not be?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Most traditions are made by someone at some time. Okay. And all of us keep growing. So we may have to let some traditions go and make some new ones. I'll give you a suggestion, like company I've worked with, we used to have a Christmas party every year. This year couldn't happen. So instead of doing a Christmas party, we did a kind of online painting class. So we gave every staff, the painting supplies, and we have our teacher who are in the class and everybody's in their home with the Zoom and they can, if they want to drink, they can open a wine bottle of, they can, want to dance after that they can dance. So we're trying to do something more productive way, but keeping safety. I think that's the way to go. So they let some traditions go and make some new ones.
Scott Webb: Let's talk about kids. You're a child psychiatrist. The holidays are an exciting time for kids as we've talked about, especially with their parents who can't say no. So how can we make this holiday memorable for our kids? What are some signs that kids, you know, might be distressed or depressed during the holidays?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Kids are very excited about Christmas. Probably Christmas is the most favorite holiday for majority of kids in, across the board, if not, at least in the US probably across the board. Okay. And yes, they are excited and some of them are depressed, but one thing I will let you know that kids are much more adaptable than we give them credit for. I'll give you an example. There was a - I was looking at a letter written buy I think an eight-year-old on the internet on social media, the kid wrote to, I think governor of the state that if the health department allows, can Santa come in to my house wearing a mask.
And I will leave cookies with the hand sanitizer. So that kind of things, kids can be creative and yes, kids can get depressed and signs of depression, in kids is different than the signs of depression in adults. So most common signs of depression in kids is irritability and anger. They may cry. They have mood swings. They will not be just sad and sitting in one room, like isolating, like most adults. So they have more irritability and anger. They can have difficult concentrating. Their grades might start slipping. They may have difficulty sleeping, restless and they talk about, we are bored all the time.
So help them okay. The first thing is, as we talking early, is kids are very adaptable. So if you give them enough support, they can progress very well during this tough time of COVID including holidays. First, I will encourage them to spend time with their friends. Okay. Friends are integral part of kid's life.
They learn so many things from friends, which we think they cannot, but they do. And for them it's easier to take things from friends than from caregivers. Okay. For that, like if they can't go in person, which I said, probably not until it's, you know, family, and there's just a couple of people there, so they should play online games or just online chatting so they can with text, do some watch together movies, some screen time for each other, and then parents should provide extra reassurance. Then stay in touch with family and friends and most important thing which parents can do is encourage kids to talk about their feelings, help them recognize their feelings, which a lot of people don't do.
I have seen people like parents are screaming at the kids that I'm giving you everything. What is making you sad? Why are they sad? Or you can't be sad. So you can be sad is very bad call because how can you decide what kids are feeling or what kids should feel? So I think we should teach our parents and encourage them to talk to the kids about feeling and next tradition should be a stick to a daily purpose daily routine. If there's no structure, no routine, kids start feeling more depressed, more anxious. Then they can adopt a pet, which is very good. And if they have pet, probably that keeps them busy and keep them some, if there's no human touch at least there were still a touch, most pets especially dogs and cats they come and get into laps and kids really like it. So I would suggest kids who, again, a focus on providing support and kids are very adaptable. They will come out with flying colors if parents can support them.
Scott Webb: As we get close to wrapping up here, when you think about kids who might be suffering from boredom and loneliness, we've given some ideas, but anything else we can help them help our kiddos to just stay engaged and stay productive and just kind of make the best of things?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Best thing is to keep us structure for the day. And keep them busy, give them some time with their friends. Give them some time from you. Like I'll give an example, like my kids are 21 and 12. We have watched so many movies together in this pandemic. Probably we have not watched this in before that in ten years because we will watch movie like before that we, me and my wife watch movie separate because we like Indian movies, they want English movies.
So, but we have watched so many movies together. So many TV shows together. We have played some time cards, some board games. So keep them busy with that too. So give them that they're important. They're loved. They are needed,
Scott Webb: Doctor, as we wrap up here today, anything else you want to tell people about the holidays, how to enjoy them, how to stay connected with people, even though we're apart and you know, how to help our kiddos in the process, anything else?
Dr. Ajay Sharma: So I would suggest to people that during the holidays don't abandon any healthy habits. And take a breather. So, and if things are not going in the right direction, seek professional help, if help is available so they can enjoy the holidays and, for the new year and it will bring some definite hope, especially the vaccine is just around the corner.
Scott Webb: So awesome having you on today, you've got so many amazing and creative ideas. And even though we're apart, to be as creative as possible, make some new memories, some new family memories and traditions along the way. So Doctor, thanks so much for your time today and you stay well.
Dr. Ajay Sharma: Okay. Thank you. And happy holidays.
Scott Webb: To find out more about coping with a COVID Christmas go to Genesishcs.org/behavioralhealth. And thanks for listening to Sounds of Good Health with Genesis brought to you by Genesis Healthcare System. If you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels and check out the full podcast library for additional topics of interest. I'm Scott Webb, happy holidays and stay well.