Not everyone needs to have children. Your life is not incomplete if you don’t make a family. Everyone who has a child has to sacrifice something to spend time parenting.
In fact, many childless people are active volunteers for societal betterment. Being childless doesn’t mean selfishly spending every moment as “me” time.
People who don’t make conscious decisions about parenting look back at their lives with disappointment. You need to choose to have a child or not. Every decision involves a loss. What is more important to you personally? Each choice has positives and negatives. Which decision will you and your partner regret least?
What Do You Really Want?
You and your partner may feel you’re undecided about having a baby. Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW, suggests trying these exercises to help you with your decision.
Photo Album: Picture things that could take place over a child’s life. Imagine the screaming newborn, accomplished crawler, squawking toddler and a young person winning an award. This may nudge your decision.
Chair Exercise: Sit in a chair and speak about how much you love being childless and how much freedom you have. Then, sit in another chair and speak about how much you would love being a parent. Go into great detail of how you imagine these lives. Switch from chair to chair as you change viewpoints. You’ll have more passion and confidence in one of the chairs.
Your decision to become a parent doesn’t necessarily comment on the happiness of your childhood. Some people with very happy childhoods choose not to have kids. Others who had difficult childhoods may want to provide a better life for a new generation.
What matters most to you? How do you want to spend your life?
Listen in as Bombardieri shares how you can make the best decision for your life.
Merle Bombardieri, MSW, LICSW, is a clinical social worker/psychotherapist who specializes in parenthood decision-making, infertility, adoption, and making the most of a childfree life.