Men like to fix things and be useful. When they make a mistake, they don’t always realize the impact of the error. Sex with a stripper in Vegas may not be a big deal to him, but you go ballistic. Flowers and candy aren’t going to address the hurt and betrayal resulting from that incident.
A woman who is deeply attached experiences pain more intensely and longer than a cheater may anticipate. He doesn’t understand why he isn’t being forgiven, because he doesn’t get the pain he caused.
Infidelity is viewed differently by men and women. Men can parse trust but women can’t. Her view is that it’s all connected. Betrayal is huge for women.
A lot of men don’t think logically about things they could do instead of stepping out. If things aren’t going right in the relationship, there are other options. Talk about it. Get a divorce. Take up a hobby that doesn’t betray trust.
He needs to earn back your trust.
There are reasons to stay together. Working through the betrayal is the challenge. Mistakes can be healed. Growth as a couple is possible.
Listen as Rob Weiss, LCSW, joins Dr. Pamela Peeke to discuss how to begin addressing the hurt caused by infidelity.
Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, is Senior Vice President of National Clinical Development for Elements Behavioral Health, creating and overseeing addiction and mental health treatment programs for more than a dozen high-end treatment facilities, including Promises Treatment Centers in Malibu, The Ranch in rural Tennessee, and The Right Step in Texas.