“How could someone as smart as you fall for that?”
It’s embarrassing to admit you’ve been duped. People are quick to point out how gullible you were and how there’s no way they would’ve ever fallen for something like this.
The truth is that smart people are often duped because they think they’re smart enough to avoid deception. Intelligent people can have willful blindness, ignoring gut instincts and giving people and situations the benefit of the doubt.
No one wants to think they can be manipulated. Additionally, ignorance can be bliss, even when it’s willful ignorance.
Deception isn’t limited to romantic relationships. Jobs, organizations, families and communities can all be duplicitous.
Being duped can be psychologically traumatic. Talking about it can reduce the shame and trauma. Learn from your past by removing the rose-colored glasses to see the red flags.
Listen as Abby Ellin joins Dr. Pamela Peeke to share what it’s like to be duped, and how to avoid it in future.
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Smarty Pants Vitamins
Have You Been Duped?
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Abby Ellin is an award-winning journalist and the author of Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs In On Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help. For five years she wrote the "Preludes" column about young people and money for the Sunday Money and Business section of the New York Times. She is also a regular contributor to the Health, Style, Business and Education sections of the New York Times. Her work has been published in The New York Times Magazine, New York, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times Magazine, Psychology Today, Time, Newsweek, the Village Voice, the Boston Phoenix, Salon, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Spy (RIP). She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College and a Masters in International Public Policy from Johns Hopkins University. As of this writing, her greatest accomplishments are summiting Kilimanjaro (with a broken wrist!) and naming "Karamel Sutra" ice cream for Ben and Jerry's.
Abby Ellin, author
Abby Ellin is an award-winning journalist and the author of Teenage Waistland: A Former Fat Kid Weighs In On Living Large, Losing Weight and How Parents Can (and Can't) Help. For five years she wrote the "Preludes" column about young people and money for the Sunday Money and Business section of the New York Times. She is also a regular contributor to the Health, Style, Business and Education sections of the New York Times. Her work has been published in The New York Times Magazine, New York, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times Magazine, Psychology Today, Time, Newsweek, the Village Voice, the Boston Phoenix, Salon, Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and Spy (RIP). She holds an MFA in Creative Writing from Emerson College and a Masters in International Public Policy from Johns Hopkins University. As of this writing, her greatest accomplishments are summiting Kilimanjaro (with a broken wrist!) and naming "Karamel Sutra" ice cream for Ben and Jerry's.