Melanie Cole, MS (Host): Welcome to LifeCast, the podcast from the specialists at Infirmary Health. I'm Melanie Cole. And today, we are talking about Why Support Matters During Labor and Delivery. And joining me is Sarah Mallonee. She's a registered nurse and childbirth educator at Infirmary Health. Sarah, thank you so much for joining us today.

So before labor and birth happen, what conversations are important to be had? What should we be discussing before that happens?

Sarah Mallonee, RN: Hi, Melanie. Great to talk to you today. I do think there are some valuable conversations to have before you come in to have your baby in the hospital. I think a lot of times it's good to be on the same page on a few things. There are a bunch of different preferences people have when they come into the hospital to have their babies.

So, a few things to keep in mind are conversations like who do you want to be the people supporting you in labor and birth? Do you want just one person, or do you want a couple support people? That being said, in the hospital, do you want to see some of your immediate family members, or do you not? People have different preferences for whether or not they'd prefer to have their family come visit them in the hospital, or just wait till they get back to the house. How would you like to handle updating family and friends is also a great conversation to have.

For both of my own births, that was a responsibility that my mother and my husband shared. So, my mother had managed a group chat with family, my more immediate family, to give them updates, and my husband had managed a group chat with our friends that were interested, just to sort of keep updates off of my plate. I already had enough going on, you know? So, those could be some good conversations to have as well as going to a childbirth class I think would be pretty valuable in the sense that you can learn about the different choices that arise when it comes to labor and birth, and how you would like to picture that situation for yourself.

So, it gives you ideas of things that you could experience in the hospital and what kinds of things may come up with your babies and everything as well. So, I think it's valuable to go ahead and get on the same page with a few of these topics.

Melanie Cole, MS: Those are all great points. And with mine, we didn't have group chat at the time. So. It was just somebody making a phone call and calling everybody and saying, "Oh, you know, they're having the baby." So, that's a really great point that there should be that point person. Now, how can your support people be helpful in labor and delivery themselves? And also, how are the support team, you as a registered nurse, and all of the team surrounding the woman, how are you all working to support this woman?

Sarah Mallonee, RN: That's a great question. I feel like especially with our first-time parents, they don't always know what they're getting into when they step into this environment. And your nurses have a valuable wealth of knowledge to be able to help and support you and guide you along the way as labor and birth progresses.

But I think as well support people are very valuable in the birth space, because at the end of the day a lot of times your nurses that have been taking care of you, they've just met you. And the people that are coming to support you during labor and birth are valuable in the sense that they know you on a level that your nurses don't, and they know maybe how to support you in the best way.

Labor is a unique part of the hospital in the sense that, you know, we don't always have your family members come in to hold your hands during like an open heart surgery, but your family can come in and hold your hand through your C-section and coach you and guide you through the different things that happen in labor and birth. So, it's definitely a unique piece of the hospital in that aspect and you know the kinds of things that help your person.

So when I talk to people about how to be a good support person, I think another good conversation to have, and this is a little bit difficult sometimes for my moms to visualize at first, but I tell people to go home and make two lists. One list would be a list of things that you think would be nice to hear in a labor and birth environment, and then another list of things that you don't want to hear in labor and birth. And then, for my support people as funny as that sounds, refer to your list. Go back to the things that they had expressed would be helpful to them.

Typically, on my say list, I encourage people to include things that are positive, like affirmational type things, such as "You are in a safe environment. The people taking care of you are really good at their jobs. Your body was made to do this. You're absolutely amazing. You're doing a wonderful job." Those kinds of things are always good go-tos.

In general, on my don't say list, I joke around with my folks in childbirth class all the time, and I say that, in general, it is safe to avoid commenting on how you think things feel. With the best intentions, people will even comment and say, "Oh, that didn't look so bad." But, you know, you don't want to minimize what somebody's going through in that labor and birth environment. So, avoiding commenting on how we think something's going or how we think something feels can sometimes be a little more helpful than commenting on it.

Melanie Cole, MS: That certainly is true. Now, what's important, Sarah, for support people to bring with them when they show up or when they're running around getting ready to drive to the hospital? What should they make sure to have?

Sarah Mallonee, RN: That's a really good question. I tell people when you're packing for the hospital, it is a hospital. So, you want to have things that can make this a more comfortable environment for you. I tell my patients all the time that you can create a relaxing environment. What's funny about coming into the hospital to have a baby in general is that a lot of things and a lot of aspects of labor and birth are out of our control, out of your control, out of my control. We do things to influence things, absolutely. You know, we help you turn and move to help your baby come down. We influence things, absolutely. But we are not totally in control of labor and birth because it's a lot to do with the baby.

So, I tell people when things feel out of your control, that can feel a little bit anxiety inducing. So, I tell folks that when things feel out of control, a helpful thing to do is to bring things back into your control. I tell people to create a relaxing environment. I say that there's a huge difference in waiting in a line in a temperature-controlled room with your headphones and your fully charged phone versus waiting in a line outside with the sun beating down on you and your phone just died, and the person in front of you forgot to put on deodorant.

There's a huge difference in both of these environments, and we can influence some of the things in the labor room. So, bringing pillows that are more comfortable for you to rest on. For my support people in particular, I tell people to wear layers because sometimes the medications that are used for pain management can affect our temperature sensors, and we can feel really hot, but it's not very hot at all. And trust me, we will crank that thermostat right down for them to make them more comfortable, but you may be pretty cold. So, I tell people it's always safe to bring things to layer up on, like a looser pair of sweatpants to throw on over your shorts, you know, jacket, that kind of thing. It's hilarious because one of the first pictures of my husband meeting our child, he's, like, wearing a full winter coat because I was hot. So, that is a handy thing, I think.

I also tell people you never know where the open outlet is going to be in a room sometimes based on what needed to be plugged in medical equipment-wise. So, always extra-long phone charger cables, earbuds. There's always somebody at the family reunion that is, like, looking at Facebook videos or reels on max volume. That is not very relaxing. So, to create the relaxing environment, you know, be mindful. Put in your headphones. Bring things to lightly entertain yourselves. Bring pillows that are better on your neck, blankets, stuff like that that are more cozy for you. And absolutely make that room as relaxing as you can make it. We don't have to have the full big, bright lights on. We can dim the little lights in the rooms down to make it feel a little bit more relaxing. You can listen to music. We can be mindful of the foods that we bring into that space so that if your partner is in labor, you may not want to be eating something very aromatic, very smelly.

You may want to stick to something a little bit more basic so it doesn't bother anybody. That kind of stuff, you know. It goes a long way, and I tell people there's a lot of things that can bother you in labor, but we can do a lot to take care of these little things so that that's not a factor.

Melanie Cole, MS: Yeah, that's so important to make that relaxing environment so that everybody feels that way, and as you say, be more mindful of those things, because that really helps with all of it, with the pain, with the joy, with all of it that goes into labor and delivery. Now, what about those nerves about the labor and birth process? I know you mentioned birthing classes, and it helps to tour the birth area as well beforehand. What can help the couple with the nerves that they're both going through?

Sarah Mallonee, RN: Absolutely. Whenever we're talking about the feelings that come up when you are bringing a new baby into this world, I tell people, "It would be weird if you weren't scared." You should be a little bit scared. This is a big moment in your life, and things that can be kind of big in our lives can be a little bit scary.

And what I tell people is going into these situations armed with knowledge so that you can make informed decisions is going to make you feel better about the decisions you make. You know, if you were just filling in bubbles on a test versus, like, actually preparing for the test and feeling like you know what you're talking about whenever you get into this space.

So, preparing for childbirth in the sense that we offer childbirth classes, newborn care classes as well so that you're a little more prepared to take care of this baby that you bring into the world they can be really helpful, and you can learn about all of the different things that can come up so that you can make the best most informed decisions that you can make.

And as well, I tell people, even if you didn't get all the answers in your childbirth classes, your obstetricians, your nursing staff at the hospital, the neonatologist, and our nurse practitioners with our nursery team, all of these extremely valuable people around you can answer these questions as well that come up and help you make good and informed decisions in the birth process.

Melanie Cole, MS: Sarah, as we wrap up, I'd love for you to offer your best advice to couples that are coming in and getting ready for that very exciting day, which can also be a little bit nerve-wracking, and where they can find more information about your birthing classes and your team and what to expect.

Sarah Mallonee, RN: Yeah. As a good wrap-up, I tell people the biggest thing, whether you get everything right or not, you know, we're not perfect people, and you're going into this experience, and you're trying to have the absolute best experience that you can. And I tell people that if you do just this one thing, it makes a huge difference. And this one thing is that, to me, there's a really big difference between physically being in the room and being present.

So, for my support people listening to this, if you are a support person in this labor room, there's a lot of people that can say in this world, "Yes, I was there when a baby was born," and because they were technically in the room. But there's a big difference in being there and being present in the moment with your partner, helping guide them through this in whatever capacity you're in there, whether you're in there with a child, whether you're in there with a partner, whether you're in there with a friend, helping them through this process. There's a huge difference in just physically being in the room and being present, being in the moment and taking it all in, and doing your absolute best that you can.

That being said, I do love to brag, of course, on our different class options that are available with Infirmary Health. We have childbirth class, a newborn care and safety class. We offer a prenatal breastfeeding class that is available virtually and in person, and we also offer super sibling classes by appointment. You can find all of these classes on the Classes and Events tab on the Infirmary Health website whenever you go under the Patient tab. So, all of that is available.

And we also offer different maternity events throughout the years, so we have car seat checks and stuff like that. So, to keep up with everything going on with Infirmary Health in the maternity space, you can follow the Bump & Beyond Facebook page by Infirmary Health.

Melanie Cole, MS: Oh, I love that Bump & Beyond. That's awesome and easy to remember. Thank you so much, Sarah, for joining us today and telling us about what to expect and really how exciting and what a lovely time that is for new couples, but just so exciting and you've helped make it really clear and understandable. So, thank you again.

And for more information, you can go to infirmaryhealth.org. If you enjoyed this podcast, please share on your social media and subscribe, rate, and review on your favorite podcast apps. This is LifeCast, the podcast from the specialists at Infirmary Health. Thank you so much for listening.