Maggie McKay (Host): Welcome to the Peds Pod by Le Bonheur Children's Hospital. I'm your host, Maggie McKay. Children don't just inherit their parents' hair color, eye color, or personality, they inherit their habits and their approach to wellness too. As early as conception, a child's health is influenced by their parents. Physical, mental and social development can be passed down from generation to generation, and the lifestyles children observe in their daily lives impact their overall well-being into adulthood.

Chief of Pediatric Psychology and Behavioral Health for Le Bonheur Children's Hospital and Associate Professor of Pediatric Neurology at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center College of Medicine, Dr. Donald Bearden, is here to help us unpack the science behind how a parent's health influences their child's well-being. Thank you so much for being here.

Dr. Donald Bearden: I'm happy to be here. Thank you for having me, and thank you for the introduction.

Host: Of course. I'm so interested in this topic. Let's dive right in with, how would you describe the connection between parents' health and their child's health?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Yeah. Well, parents' mental and physical health are deeply intertwined with their children's well-being. Recent research on this topic found that parental physical activity and mental health were significantly associated with children's physical activity and mental health.

And another study that was recently done, they emphasized that the quality of parent-child relationship explained over 30%, so a third of the variation in adolescent mental health across U.S. populations, including diverse populations. So, this shows that when parents prioritize their own health and nurture strong relationships with their children, they lay the foundation for better mental and physical outcomes across generations.

Host: That's amazing. That does make sense. What are some everyday habits of parents that have the biggest impact on a child's long-term health?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Yeah. So, parental habits, honestly, from sleep routines to screen time shape children's long-term health. A 2025 scoping review of over 1500 studies on this topic found that parental behaviors like physical activity, nutrition, and sleep hygiene, were strongly associated with children's lifestyle patterns and mental health outcomes.

Additionally, affectionate parenting during childhood predicted traits like conscientiousness and emotional stability in adulthood. So, these findings indicate that children often mirror the habits they see. And when parents model healthy routines and nurturing behavior, they help shape their child's future well-being and character.

Host: We're all battling real life stresses, and there's a stress that comes along with raising children, of course. So, how does parental stress affect a child's well-being? And how can parents be transparent with their child about struggles, but in a healthy way?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Absolutely. So as you kind of implied, parental stress can disrupt emotional regulation and increase behavioral issues in children. A 2025 meta-analysis found a robust negative association between parental stress and well-being with higher stress linked to reduced emotional availability and increased child distress.

Another study showed that conversations about stress when framed constructively can buffer children from emotional harm. So, this means that helping children cope starts with helping parents manage their own stress. Supporting parental well-being can create a more emotionally secure environment for kids.

Host: Well, how can parents talk about health, physical, and mental with their kids in an age-appropriate way?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Great question. Well, it varies by age. So for toddlers, which includes ages one to three years, using tone and body language is really the way to get the message across. For example, saying to your toddler, "We sleep to grow strong" or "We eat to give us energy." And doing this while maintaining a positive tone and smiling really helps toddlers make associations between these behaviors and having a positive reference for those behaviors.

And then, for preschoolers, including ages four to six years, naming emotions is really important. For instance, saying to your preschooler, "You're sad because your toy broke" or "You're frustrated because you didn't get to play your game before bedtime." Doing this, they can learn to express their emotions by naming them.

For our preteens, which includes ages seven to 12 years, parents really should start introducing stress and coping. So when a parent notices that their child's feeling nervous or frustrated, they could say, "You know, I get nervous sometimes and I breathe deeply, and that helps" or "I get frustrated sometimes and I go for a walk." So, that can be modeling the emotion, and then a healthy coping strategy is really important for preteens.

And then, for teens, so 13 and older, it's important to start fostering open dialogue. A 2024 study found that teens benefit from conversations that include family mental health history and emotional openness. So, an example of a conversation between a parent and their teen might go something like this. A parent might say, "Hey, buddy, I noticed you've been quiet since dinner. Is something bothering you?" And then, the teen might say, "I don't know. You seem mad earlier. Did I do something wrong?" And then, the parent could respond with, "Oh no sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong. I had a really tough day at work and I was feeling stressed. I think I let it show too much, and I'm sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable." And then, the teen may respond, "Okay. Well, I thought maybe you were mad at me." And then, parent could follow up with, "I understand why you felt that way. Sometimes grownups feel overwhelmed, just like kids do. And when I feel that way, I try to take deep breaths or go for a walk to calm down. It helps me feel better. Do you ever feel stressed or upset?" And then, the teen may respond, "Yeah, sometimes when school is really hard." And then, parent could follow that up with something like, "Well, that makes sense. School can be tough. If you ever wanna talk about it, I'm here. We can figure out ways to help you feel better together."

So, Maggie, this works because it provides emotional transparency for the child so the parent names their stress without blaming the child. It provides reassurance to the child so the child knows that it's not their fault. It models coping. So, the parent shared a couple of healthy coping strategies like deep breathing and walking. And it invites further dialogue. So, the child is encouraged to share their own feelings. And you can see that by fostering this, creating this opportunity, it models and helps the child be able to express their own emotions and to cope with their emotions as well.

Host: That's a great idea and a lot of good advice. Dr. Bearden, what advice would you give parents that didn't grow up with healthy habits but hope to raise healthier kids?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Yes. And a lot of us have experienced this, right? So even parents who didn't grow up with healthy models can raise resilient kids. Recent research emphasized that effective parenting is a learned skill. It's not a skill we're born with. And consistent warmth, structure and accountability can break cycles of adversity.

So, modeling growth, not perfection, teaches children how to adapt and thrive. For instance, a parent who grew up in a chaotic or emotionally distant household might choose to create a calm bedtime routine and consistently show affection and encouragement. Over time, these small, intentional choices can help their child feel secure and build resilience even if the parent didn't have that experience growing up.

Host: Parents aren't perfect. We all know that, especially we parents. So, what can they do when they don't model health habits well?

Dr. Donald Bearden: Well, luckily, imperfect parenting is normal for anyone who's a parent. We know that. So, what matters though is repair. Apologizing and explaining missteps helps children learn emotional regulation and accountability. For example, after getting upset, a parent may say, "You know, I was stressed and I yelled, I'm sorry. Let's talk about it." This approach fosters trust and resilience and models health behavior for the child.

Host: You know, there can be a real layer of guilt for parents to take time for themselves, prioritizing their needs. How important is it to prioritize your own well-being?

Dr. Donald Bearden: I want you to hear me when I say that self care isn't selfish. Self-care is not selfish. It's actually foundational. A 2025 Psychology Today article emphasized that when parents prioritize their own well-being, children feel safer and more emotionally regulated. Even small acts, a walk, a quiet moment helps parents show up with more patience and presence.

Host: So, what is the one thing parents can do today to make a positive shift for themselves and their children?

Dr. Donald Bearden: So, the key is to start with one shared healthy habit. A 2023 longitudinal study found that strong parent-child relationships built through time together warmth and communication predicted better health outcomes 14 years later. Try a 20-minute walk or a shared meal. You can add activities over time, but start with something manageable and realistic. Set yourself up for success. These moments really do matter.

Host: Well, this has been so fascinating and such great advice. And you gave us a lot to think about. Thank you for sharing your expertise.

Dr. Donald Bearden: It's been my pleasure. I'm happy to share this information with you.

Host: Again, that's Dr. Donald Bearden. To learn more, please visit lebonheur.org. And if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels and check out our entire podcast library for topics of interest to you. I'm Maggie McKay. Thanks for listening to Peds Pod by Le Bonheur Children's Hospital.