It’s quite impossible for a couple to have never experienced a bump in the relationship road. These blips come as a part of the package.
The tricky part is how you address them. Ignoring conflict and allowing it to cause irreparable damage can be extremely detrimental.
A once-stable relationship doesn’t break overnight; the signs show up fairly early… long before things get messy. When you deal with the initial signs the right way, you can nurture your relationship and get back on track.
A relationship requires daily care. Just like you water a plant and make sure it gets adequate sunlight, you need to sprinkle some love and shine a little more attention each day.
If you haven’t made any effort to fix things or don’t realize what went wrong, consider these seven factors.
1) No More Surprises
A new relationship is full of surprises that only made the love grow deeper. The best part is that it never gets to be too much or tiresome; every surprise is still surprising.
But, over time, did it fade? Either you ran out of ideas or your flame is running out of oil. The element of surprise is an essential factor in the nurturing of a relationship. It shows that you love your partner but also highlights the time and effort you put into a special surprise… just to bring joy and spark something beautiful.
2) No Time for Each Other
Commitment and consistency are the key to any successful relationship. Do you remember skipping a day of your college courses to spend some time together? Or, the times you left every other responsibility just to walk down the beach with her, drive her home, or all the times you waited just to meet up again?
Do you realize something common in each of those examples?
You certainly had your share of work and important tasks to attend to, but for her, you chose to make time. The lack of making time can only be an excuse; while the option to set aside time for your loved one still lies in your hands.
3) When Was Your Last Vacation?
Vacations can be a big boost for any couple. Whether you like to travel or not, taking trips together should be on the top of your list. The “away time” you spend with each other will draw you both close once again and revive dead passions and energy you previously had. Doing fun things together can establish an intimate bond and connection.
4) Your Job Has Replaced Your Partner
Have you heard the saying, “Your biggest career decision is who you marry”?
Truly, your marriage is more important than your job. While your career is just to keep you going, your partner is someone you are firmly bonded to for the rest of your life. In nearly 70% of marriages, jobs have invaded and taken over as priorities. Even with the best intention of supporting each other’s financial successes and earning more in order to maintain a comfortable lifestyle, you cannot keep a relationship alive. It’s not worth losing your loved one to an effort where you don’t spend time with him. Prioritize and don’t let your job take your partner's place.
5) Intimacy is Long Gone
A Relationship survives on intimacy! Whether it is physical or emotional, the flame of love can get blown away if not protected. Most couples fail at keeping the right balance of physical and emotional love; neither of which will make sense without the other. Did your therapist ask you about the last time you two made love? Regularly heat things up and don’t be afraid of spontaneity; this can absolutely take your relationship a long way.
6) Your Friends Have Your Free Hours
Does your partner hate you always being with your friends?
When you spend all of your post-work free hours with friends or colleagues, it can become problematic.
Many little gestures make a bond strong and speak volumes. For example, write some love quotes for him, stick a note somewhere that says “I love you,” or bring him breakfast in bed. Too much friend time is one area that might not cause much turmoil initially, but can start to build insecurities that may lead to a significant disconnect in short order.
7) Unresolved Misunderstandings
Communication is the most significant element in a relationship; one that needs to be given priority, regardless of the situation.
When problems arise, dealing with them at an early stage can fix hurt feelings with little or no pain. If you have a misunderstanding, sit together and talk it out, figure out what’s best for both, and make some compromises. Concede an argument if you’re truly in the wrong. If such issues aren’t sorted out early (or never), they can bloat and burst with just a seemingly insignificant trigger. Keep ego out of the way and make peace.
It’s better to wake up and act before your relationship dies of starvation. Love is all about sacrifice, selflessness, and generosity; remind yourself of your young love and drive towards going back to that place of authenticity.
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