Transcription:
Family Meal Time

Melanie Cole (Host): Welcome to Say Yes To Good Health with Memorial Hospital. I'm Melanie Cole. Today, I want you to join us for this really great topic of family meal time. It's not something everybody thinks about, but there are more snd more studies showing the importance of this type of bonding for families. Joining me is Ashlyn Housewright. She's the Executive Director of Community Health and Wellness at Memorial Hospital. She's also a Registered Dietician and Certified Diabetes Care and Education Specialist. Ashlyn, I'm so glad to have you with us. And of course, I'm older than you are. But growing up, that was all we had, cause I'm the youngest of six kids and three foster kids, there was nine kids and it wasn't like everybody did meals at separate times. It was then or not. So, I tried to do that with my kids, but in this day and age and mine are 18 and 21, it, it, it wasn't as easy, right? Because everybody's doing their thing. So, first, tell us, cause I mentioned it in the intro. What have the studies shown about the importance of family meal time on families, bonding, on nutrition and health of the entire family?

Ashlyn Housewright, RDN, LDN, CDCES, CLS, CHWC (Guest): The studies show not only does it promote great nutrition, but it also promotes just an adequate family benefit time. It promotes a supportive environment while promoting healthy eating. So, really the benefits of family meal time is huge. I often hear parents share, you know, what their child does or does not eat. And sometimes the solution is very close to them. You know, it's the kitchen table and what we, what can we do to get the family around the kitchen table or at least set aside some time for family meal time.

Host: Certainly true. when you say meal time and asked this question a lot myself, does it matter what meal? Does it have be dinner? Can it be breakfast lunch on the weekends?

Ashlyn: I always try to meet everyone where they're at and to think everyone works a normal nine to five in today's world, is not the case. So, really it can be any time. So, some families, you know, whose parents work, you know, evening shifts, that family meal time is breakfast for before they head out to school and one parent heads off to work for the day.

So, no, it doesn't have to be dinner. I think it can be any time where parents can take some time to have that, those conversations with their, their children and share a meal together. So, whether that's breakfast, lunch, evening meal, potentially even a bedtime snack, it's where you can be share supportive environment and mimic healthy behaviors.

Host: So, I think the biggest question that everybody has is we're all so busy. And I know you said we can do a snack or breakfast or lunch based on everyone's schedules, but still everybody's so busy, running around, eating on the go. And then with COVID, Ashlyn, I mean, my kids were in their room. I mean, it was not easy to get them out. So, what about the fact that everyone's so busy? Do you you know great you can us about that and what you can us about kind of being in this democratic family unit that we're in, somebody charge and saying, okay, we're meeting for this meal.

Ashlyn: Yes. Yes. I think if one person does step up to the plate and say, let's try to make a family meal or connect as a family around food; my number one thing would be to keep it simple. I think often we think that healthy eating has to be a big production, or it has to be fancy, but essentially for a meal to be considered a meal, it needs to have three different food groups there. So, whatever you can do to just keep it simple and keep it engaging is going to be a step in the right direction.

Host: So like, what if it's only one What if one works in the one works in evening and one in the day? When you say family does it have to everybody in the household? Because I another thing people are like, never around at we're never around at the same time.

Ashlyn: Yeah, I think it, it just has to be what works for your family unit. So, I have three children, so yes. You know, not every parent is always present, so most certainly whatever works best for the family. But I think when we think about nutrition, as a registered dietician, you know, I want people to incorporate some sort of nutrition into meal time and conversation into meal time and engagement into meal time.

So, anything that can work as far as whether that's one parent, two parents, maybe the household is a grandparent and a parent, whatever your family unit looks like, trying to make family meal time work around that. So, not specific to who all has to be present, but maybe who's just present in the home at that time is what's going to be best for everybody.

And then again, you know, keep it simple and know it's okay to like ask for help if there's other people in the house, but also from the kids as well, you know. They can be avid players in trying to make this work too. So, don't think it's just all on the weight of one person's shoulders all the time. Especially if you have older kiddos in the house and younger kiddos like to help as well. But use your little army that you have at home to help you and kids more often than not, when they, especially when they're little, they want to engage with their parents. So, giving them tasks can be helpful in family meal time as well.

Host: Oh, we're going to talk about that for sure, because that is your little army and getting the kids involved in everything from gardening and weeding, they don't love, but planting the vegetables, vegetables and then eating them. You know, those things. So, it really does get them involved. Setting the table. It kind of hearkens back and, and it's kind of such a nice feeling, butnot everybody can do it every day. So, does it matter we only it once a week, a couple times a week. Does that matter? Or are you looking for us to this every day?

Ashlyn: You know, I say, look a t where you're at right now. Are eating as a family right now? Then set goals for your that? So maybe, you know, we take a big picture and we're not eating together at all. We're totally on the go. So, your goal might just be okay, we're aiming to eat together.

As far as setting goals, take a look at where you're at right now and make family meal time happy and accordingly. So, you know, maybe you're aiming just to make that family meal time twice a week, or maybe you're already eating twice a week and you want to try to bump it up to four times a week. Just setting the bar realistically for and your family, because you know, there's going to be sports games and there's going to be practice. So, every night might not always be the night, but giving yourself some grace when setting family meal time. Because ultimately it's about connection. So, getting the family together as a unit, sharing a nutritionally dense meal together and mimicking healthy behaviors, you know, as a parent or as the adult in the home, showing your kiddos that nutrition is important. It takes effort for something like this to happen.

You know, a family meal doesn't just happen in a few minutes, there there's effort. You know, it takes, everyone, plays a part in making a family meal happen. And that's really important for everyone in the home to see.

Host: Now big right? We've gotten everyone together. Maybe people have helped. Maybe they haven't. set dinner doesn't matter. And the phones come out. Or, you know, as mom serving kids are on their phones. And so what do you recommend as as if the TV is on my . In my household Ashlyn, we on all time. We like deep tracks or, you know, we like Sirius XM. We like radio and music is on all the time, but phones are not allowed at the table and families, not so easy to accomplish.

Ashlyn: I would say, you know, ask yourself really what you're trying to get out of meal time. I keep going back to being engaged and that supportive environment. And really if everyone's on their phones or if we're just sitting there watching TV, we're really missing one of the biggest components of family meal time, and that is, you know, connection. And that's what studies show. It's a time where families can benefit from the connection of what's happened into the day or what's going to happen in the day. So my professional opinion would be that those items wouldn't be present at the table, from a cellphone standpoint, they would be, you know, turned off and during that 30 minutes together, the calls can wait. Obviously, you know, some things do come up that maybe can't wait, but that 30 minutes, you know, there's 24 hours in a day for everyone to play on electronic devices, 30 minutes to connect with your family could actually provide way more benefit than whatever we're looking at from a screen time standpoint.

Host: And you're a registered dietician and the studies that that nutrition and the health is increased really with these family dinners. So, when we're about dinner, lunch, breakfast, like we've said, is takeout okay? Is pizza okay? we these dinners, does it have to be this healthy choice? I personally like lay the table, you know, to put out a pasta and and know caprese, whatever it is. I like a lot of things on the table for choices, but can it be pizza? Is fine? And that is that kind of the same effect?

Ashlyn: Yeah. I always tell when I'm working with people, you know, it takes three food groups for a meal to be considered a meal. So, I always encourage, you know, for there to be a protein. Some sort of starch and some sort of color at meal time. So hopefully the color is fruit and vegetable, that starch, you know, a whole grain, if not a whole grain, some sort of non, you know, overly processed grained item and then the protein to be some sort of lean protein. So yes, pizza can be a meal time item, ,but can we pair that pizza with a side salad or can we load it up with vegetables or have raw veggies to pair with it. So, making sure we always incorporate color into the mealtime. A lot of times, just with takeout, it's a lot of, you know, white and brown foods. And we miss out on those high fibrous foods, those foods really high in nutrients, which would be our fruits and vegetables.

So, when you're planning that meal at home, yes, pasta can be there, but making sure we have some sort of color with the dish item and not thinking of it on like a high level, you know, it doesn't have to be tilapia and quinoa evereynight, you know, it can be grilled burgers on a bun with you know, a side salad, raw veggies, some sort of like fruit, whether that's fresh or frozen you know, keeping it simple, but keeping the color there.

Host: Well, you're making me hungry. That sounds so good. Ashlyn, I mean, I is such a great topic and important. So, do you have any discussion tips? Because think one of things that some families now, some families, when have family meal time, that's when claws out the arguing starts. And some families sit there in silence and some families talk over other and enough own words in. So tell us about some tips, if you're one of those with little kidos, 5, 6, 7 year olds, what do we want how do? How them talking and telling us about their day?

Ashlyn: I think, you as the parent or the, the leader at the table, just starting off in describing what your day was like or interactions that happened at your day. And then everyone gets a turn. I think that always goes back to when I was a kid around my dinner table, you know, I was always the talkative one and my brother never talked and my sister didn't have much to say, but my parents always made it a point that everyone got a turn first. And if I wanted to steal the show after everyone was done, that was fine. But everyone got a turn to engage or at least share something about the day. And I think that's important is to share something. So, whether that's about the day, the bus ride, you know what you did in art class, just something about your day and encouraging parents to pry a little bit too I think it's definitely fine. Also with kids, especially little kids asking them to just start to describe the food that they're eating very helpful. You know, what color is the food? What does the food smell or taste like?

Host: Oh, that's a great idea.

Ashlyn: Especially if they are what be describing a little bit on the picky side. Trying food, isn't actually swallowing it's touching it, it's smelling it. describing it. You know, some kids will actually put the food to their mouth. But they won't actually take a bite and all of those things should be counting as trying the food. So, really just opening discussion up about the meal. And if you're making a family meal have more of a habit in your house, it's a great time to talk about like, what do we want to have at our next family meal?

Or maybe deferring the role to someone else. So, maybe if you have older kids, they're going to take a role in planning what's going to be at the next family meal and setting those kinds of guidelines up that we talked about, you know, always making sure we have some sort of protein, some sort of starch and an item of color. So, then everyone starts to play a little bit more active role in what's coming up next.

Host: With the little do like to be included the conversation because a lot of times they sort of just sit there and maybe talking, but with the teenagers now, you know, little kids want to be included and they want to talk. And the teenagers you say, how was your day? Fine? Oh, what'd you do? Nothing. How's school? Okay. That's what we come up with. Getting teenagers to talk. It's a little bit of a tougher deal. I don't know if you have teenagers, Ashlyn, but I mean, have you tried that? It's not easy.

Ashlyn: I do not have teenagers. I have in the little stage now 4, 2 and 4 months.

Host: I love the little stage so much, but oh my God, that's so lucky. You're so lucky. Those are the best ages. But so with teenagers, and I imagine you work with plenty of them. What music, movies, things we can talk about. Right.

Ashlyn: Yeah, definitely open-ended questions. Those type of things like what's going on in their world. I mean, I know cell phones aren't allowed at the table, but I'm sure there's some sort of new app that's out that they can describe to you, new video game that's out, that they can describe to you, music genre, you know, even educating you know, the parents and some of the new terminology that is being used. I think all of that changes over time. So, sometimes teenagers say a thing and I'm like clueless of the lingo that they're using. So, anything that you feel like you can use to get into their, their world, is great table talk and knowing that family meals aren't lasting for hours either, you know, it's just a little bit of time for the family to get together and share a meal.

So, anything that you can do in that time period to talk, and if they don't want to talk, then they can listen to the others around the table talk too.

Host: One of the things served me very well my kids littler was using that for teaching manners. And I don't know that makes me old and I'm not, I mean, I'm 57, but we learned manners as kids. And I taught my children manners when they were little so that we could take them to the fanciest restaurant anywhere in the world. And they could sit there and eat a meal and not be scorned at, by, you know, other diners. Have you talked to parents about teaching manners and if so, what tips do you have?

Ashlyn: Yeah. Typically with parents, you know table manners don't always come up as often because we're working more on picky eating or trying to get kiddos to eat. So, then the manner situation may change a little bit, but I think, you know, you as the parent or the adult at the table, just monkey see monkey do. So, if the parent is mimicking good mealtime manners, the child is going to pick up on that too eventually.

And also if you notice something happening that you don't necessarily like, redirecting them. So for instance, food should always stay on the table. So, if you have toddlers that are getting curious about dumping food off their tray, or off the table, you know, that's a redirection to, you know, food should always stay on the table.

And same thing with, you know, other behaviors that might happen at mealtime, the parent redirecting them on the appropriate thing to display. And I think the more you have family meals together, the more it just happens naturally. Right. So, if you are someone that's making family meals a part of your weekly structure, those manners that the child sees are just going to trickle down and it's you know, you're going to feel confident when your kid goes out to eat with someone else or to over to someone's house that they're going to mimic the right manners that they saw at their dinner table.

Host: certainly true. Role modeling, really works for many different aspects of parenting, right? Ashlyn, I mean, I'm sorry. We'll fix that, right Ashlyn. It's it works for many whether it's exercise or eating healthy, family dinners, no phones at the As we parents, we're going to have to do our kids to do the same, do you have any great recipes for us? Things that we can serve at family dinner? look Pretty easy and that we can get the kiddos in helping to prepare.

Ashlyn: Yeah. So as far as recipe goes, I think a lot of times when we think about like healthy, we get concerned that it has to be fancy and know that it doesn't have to be that it can be very simple. So, just some, you know, kid friendly type options that go across the board. For instance, a theme to a family meal night. So if you know, you're always going to aim to eat together on Tuesdays and Thursdays, giving those days, maybe some themes because that's going to help come up with recipes a lot easier. So for instance, on Tuesdays, a lot of individuals gear more towards Mexican type dishes, so tacos, quesadillas, and those items are very easy to prepare.

You can even then do a Mexican lasagna. You know, rice skillet, know, enchiladas those type of things, but keeping it simple. So, for instance, just cheese quesadillas or chicken quesadillas, is a very easy recipe that you can pair multiple other ingredients with to add in that color. And then you can build upon that too. So, tacos again. So yes, you can use ground meat, but you can use ground chicken. So, it's another way. Ground Turkey, ground pork. It's another way to introduce your family to other meat options when it comes to that. Then fajitas, same thing, vegetable type fajitas, chicken fajitas, beef fajitas, anything, like that you can always build upon just when giving the day a theme. So, you know, even the theme could be chicken and you can cultivate a ton of recipes to pair with that theme as well. But keeping it very simple, you know, asking yourself what's the protein, what's the starch and what's the color.

So as far as specific recipes, I always tell my patients and parents that I'm working with, what does your family like to eat? And let's build off that. You know, there's so many avenues for recipes at the tip of our fingertips today, you know, getting out on the internet, Pinterest, the recipes are there. You just might have to tweak them a little bit to meet your needs. So, I often tell people to go, you know, searching for recipes that would may work for their family. But when it comes to little ones at home, sometimes finding a recipe that you can piece apart so they can build an item together with you, you know, I always come back to. So for instance, like a stir fry, you can separate out the items then, so you can have rice, then you can have the meat item, then you can have the vegetable. And that allows the child to either combinate the dish together or eat individually if they want to. And then trying new things can also go in with that as well.

So I would say with recipes, keep it simple. Recipes with more than, you know, 10 ingredients sometimes can be a lot for some people. So, if you're not an avid to use multiple ingredients, don't pick out recipes that are intimidating, just because the ingredients list is so large and then build a collection, you know, collect as you go to help get new things your kitchen, but also use up things that you might have on hand and then time is of the essence. So look for recipes that are going to be, you know, you're going to be able to cook in around 30 minutes,

Host: What great ideas. I mean, tacos, you can lay out on the table. Everyone can fill their own. You've given us so many really great ideas. I love the leaving things kind of deconstructed and letting people do that themselves, cause that does help everybody to be involved in the dinner at the table itself. And right now with all the seasonal produce, it's gorgeous, there's beautiful produce out. So you can really get everybody involved. I'd love for you to give us your last piece of best advice, really, for families about the importance of family meal time.

Ashlyn: I think my best advice would be to make it fun. should still be fun. I think we put so much pressure on what we should and shouldn't eat and when we eat. But food should really, should still be fun. Add some sort of excitement You know, make it a theme, throw a blanket have picnic living room.

Let the others in your home choose what you're going to have for that meal. When they enjoy the experience, it'll be something that they remember forever. And a lot of us who grew up around the table, those are the things, those are the memories that we remember from our childhood. So, that would be my last advice for parents or anyone listening, is to make it fun.

Host: You are right, cause those are lasting memories. Even if you're all arguing at the table, those are lasting memories and, and they make me smile when I think back. So, thank you so much Ashlyn for joining us today and giving us great advice. That concludes this episode of Say Yes to Good Health with Memorial Hospital. For more health tips like you heard here today, you can always visit our website at mhtlc.org and search treatments and nutritional support. We'd like to thank our audience and invite you to download, subscribe, rate, and review on Apple podcasts, Spotify, and Google podcast. And if you found this informative, please share with your friends and family on your social channels. I'm Melanie Cole. Thanks so much for listening.