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Intro/Outro: A Content warning for our listeners, general discussions of sexual violence, including impacts of trauma and healing modalities will be discussed. If you need support or resources, please visit survivors.org

Angela Rose: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Survivors.org Podcast, helping survivors to thrive after trauma. I'm your host, Angela Rose. And this episode is brought to you by Color Street, Color Street Nails is a creative beauty brand with limitless possibilities. I am so excited for our guest today. This is gonna be a really important conversation.

We have Sochil Martin. She has been so brave in talking about what she's dealt with overcoming abuse by the leaders of megachurch. And she's gonna give some really powerful tips on healing and how to overcome getting in the grips of a cult-like community, where you are leaving everything, your family, your church, and she had the incredible strength to do that. So Sochil, so grateful to have you on today. Welcome.

Sochil Martin: Thank you for having me. And thank you for, wanting to listen a little bit more about this story, because it's definitely an issue that's happened once and again. It's not the first time we hear about. And it's not the first time that we've heard about survivors, breaking free of organizations like this. So thank you so much for having me on here.

Angela Rose: Oh, thank you. It's truly an honor. And from what I, I read about your story, there was abuse that went on for about 17 years. Is that right? Do you wanna give us a little bit of background on your story?

Sochil Martin: Right. Well, I was, born into the organization. I was fourth generation, which means I go back to my great grandparents who were in the same organization at Luzo Munzo, or as they like to call it now We Are Light. Yeah. And so grandparents and then mother and then myself, and my daughter was then also introduced into the church when she was a baby as well. And then we all ran away together. It is a Christian quote, unquote based, organized religion. And essentially what we do is our lives revolve around the leader of this organization.

Our lives revolve around his life and making him happy and making sure that anything and everything that we do is for his happiness. And I guess we wanted to believe that we were normal. We wanted to believe that we were just like everybody else. At least I speak for myself. And I believe that I was just a normal kid like everyone else, but I was taken and groomed, by my legal guardian, when I was nine. She started grooming me to take me to the leader as she was taken as well in sexual servitude and slave labor to the leader before, Naso Paquin, which was his dad.

Then one day my husband was the one that, he found the text messages, because I was, the apostles assistant. and I was a slave and I was living in Guadalajara. I'm an American citizen, but I was married. And then, the apostle took me again and had me living in Guadalajara. But when my husband finds these messages, he's broken completely and didn't understand what was going on. And long story short, he explained to me why this was abuse and why this is not the church of God. And none of this was a blessing and it was assault and in that moment, I just, I broke, I shattered in a hundred million pieces.

I still didn't believe it and I was just saying, he doesn't understand his, you know, his faith isn't strong enough. He doesn't understand where I'm coming from. I have the blessing, my family had the blessing and he's not getting it. And then the bishops come down and they try to like buy us out, try to silence us out. And I'm like, whoa, this. A corrupt organization and I don't know what I'm doing here. What are my great grandparents thinking? I leave and I immediately start looking for a way to connect with the authorities because I knew that there were a lot of little boys and girls in there, in my same situation.

And it was hell even trying to get to the authorities themselves And then it's not easy when a cult is after you because a cult manages itself like a criminal enterprise. And they sent to look for me at several occasions to kill me and my family, my husband, and my little girl, she's 10 now, but, went to my house. They broke in many, many times. This happened, we were relocated in the witness relocation program at of the state of Californi.

And even here, they found me at a hotel. With my daughter alone, my husband was off, he was selling cars because we had to relocate. We left everything. He left his job. He worked for the government in Ensenada Baja, California and we moved here with nothing but $20 in our bank account, we had the support from the department of justice. But in the end it was very, very difficult to speak out because everybody, and I mean, everybody who knew me, family, friends, society, world, everything I once belonged to, I was the most hated person in this community. And they wanted to be dead and the bullying and the harassment and to my daughter.

To my baby daughter at her point. And just people telling her that they wanted to rape my daughter in front of me, that they were gonna kidnap and kill her in front of me. they would also believe my husband and they knew how to get us through my daughter. It was just, yeah, cults are very dangerous and it's all course of control. It is all extortion. It is harassment at its finest and the tactics that they use, like mob, like tactics that cult use are terrible. And I really do wish that nobody ever has to go through what I went through. But unfortunately there are those who have, and it's not the first time have done this in history.

But surviving it has really shown me how proud I am of myself and how much I'm worthy of a life and of integrity, of human integrity. And that I'm not an object. I'm not a thing, the way that I was raised up to believe, my body is mine. My mind is mine. My spirit is mine. And through that process and finding myself and helping others and having this whole new community with other survivors and my family. My little girl and my husband and the way we, maybe something so simple for other people. But for us, it's like a big deal waking up on Sundays in the morning.

Or we had to go to prayer three, four times a day and to have all this extra time and to be able to take our kid to Disneyland, if we wanted to, or to be able to wear pants or to wear earrings, I wasn't allowed to have earrings. So I wasn't allowed to have short hair or makeup. in any case. So yeah, my best friend, she recently got her ears pierced and she was actually in the line of the same family who founded this church. And she's my best friend now. So it's a very weird relationship that we have, but we just found each other in this very broken world that we live in.

And unfortunately her family like initiated this cult, but like four generations after, we've just come together, her and I, and we've really understood each other that we were both survivors. And we're both really healing in this process. And so she said to me, I don't think anybody understands what a big deal it is for me today. She's like, I'm telling my coworkers that I'm gonna get my ears Pierce. And they're like, okay, how old are you? And she's like, oh, well I'm 33. They don't get it. And I'm like, oh my God, I get it. So here she is, we went live and she's getting her ears pierced normal.

Little ear, like one her lobes, like nothing fancy. And it was a big deal. My daughter was there and like, we had a live stream. People just like you do it, you're free. Now you're gonna be able to wear all types of earrings and jewelry and beautify your face. And yes, it's been a journey.

Angela Rose: You are remarkable. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. And just to hear you, you are so well spoken and you seem so calm on the surface. I would love to hear what helped you heal. What helped you get to the other side? Because I can tell you've done a lot of inner work and I would love to hear, what helped you get to the other side to find that light and to find that hope?

Sochil Martin: The hope and the strength that I get to keep moving forward is really just helping other survivors and pushing through. And I'm really focusing on legislation right now is where my whole heart is and focusing. an education program that we tend to push in. It's sort of like a blueprint right now. It's not really we wanna push it into public schools, where we educate children and aware them on abuse and educate children on mental health. It's all about mental health in the end, physically healthy, Mentally healthy, your mind. That's something that I really have hope that, Hey, it doesn't end here.

We're human and human beings can be just beautiful and it's not all bad and it's not all evil. But in any case last year, I had a mental break. and I ended up in the hospital. I've never spoken about this. And I was gonna do a, talk about this on my YouTube channel, but Hey, it's so organic here and it's all about getting it out there. and all of the dark moments that I thought I had forgotten or certain things smells and that I had maybe thought I forgot. And I didn't.

And there came a moment where I was just in shock of what was happening in my life. And when you wanna believe. It's not that bad. Like I wanted a belief for so long. It wasn't that bad Sochil, you're stronger than this. It's just keep moving, keep going forward. You can do it. And unfortunately I just broke and I leave the hospital and my daughter and my husband are telling me that there was just nobody there, there was nobody there and they would talk to me and when my daughter told me that she was scared and she said, mommy, it's like, you weren't even here.

And, I remember I reached out to a friend of mine, who I have of so much respect for. She went through, she was also in the cult and she went through a domestic abuse for so long. And she works in mental. And so I reached out to her and I was explaining to her a little bit of what happened and why I was sort of like, deviating away from the projects that I was working on and I just needed time to heal. And I don't, I told her, I don't know what happened. Just, I don't know what happened in my mind. I felt like I just, I went into a bubble of silence.

And I didn't know what was happening to me. I had never gone through that. And I felt like my body in the past and my mind in the past wanted to go there, but I just would always, something would happen and I would just keep moving, keep . And I remember the night before I ended up in the hospital, I found myself to a clinic, a mental health clinic. And there was a young woman who was walking her dog and she said, if she could help me and and I just remember telling her she wouldn't understand. I remember telling her, like, you wouldn't get it. If I told you my story, she's gonna think I'm crazy.

And I spoke to her a little bit and she said, I work a few blocks away. And it's a mental health clinic and like suicide hotline place where they help. And I remember coming home and I couldn't Get the name out of my head in the moment. That's all I could think of. And I just remember coming home and I was like on autopilot. I just remember coming home and I sat down. And I guess my husband thought that I was hurt or something had happened to me. And I just remember repeating to him the name of the clinic that we needed to get to. And I fell asleep in my clothes and I usually shower before I go to bed.

And, the very next morning, he found the clinic for me. It was not too far away. And they had me on watch for a while. Although they said that they didn't find any risk, but they did ask me and I said, well, you know what? Just in case like I have my daughter and I wanna be okay for. I need to be okay for her. And so even if that means taking care of myself, even for myself and so I went to the emergency room and they had me there. They took me to a room to another room within the emergency room. my husband was there with me and one of my best friends.

He was taking care of my daughter. He's also a survivor of the cult. So this little family that we had, if it would not have been for my family, I don't know what would've happened, to me, I feel like if I didn't have my family, when I had them, I don't know where I would be. They were there in the moment where I needed them the most and not every survivor has that opportunity. Not every survivor has a wonderful husband or has a child to keep them going, keep them moving, give them strength, give them courage. And I remember wanting to stay alive for them, and being okay for them. And, when I came back to the movement, a little bit after that it was New Year's day because this all happened around Christmas.

We were all giving our New Year's resolutions. And my New Year's resolution was that I was gonna keep fighting for safety and I was gonna keep fighting for yes, justice, and for health and educating children. It's been a war on women for so long. And the most vulnerable of us are the little ones, the children, little girls, little girls and little boys. Yes. But little girls and young, young women they've sexualized us. And they've used our bodies and our minds and our spirits and our, person as objects. And I lived it, I lived it.

And I come from fourth generation of, slaves and it happens, no, we're not African American and it, and I'm not talking about, slaves in, shack. no, but I was a sex slave and I was a slave of human trafficking and slave labor. And I can tell you thousands of women and men and children who are still slaves of this organization. And there are organizations like this slaves of the mind, and it's all based off of course of control because if you leave, if you say something, if you do something, if you think, we will shun you and say bye to mom. Say bye to dad.

I was 14. you're 14 years old in this organization when you are considered an adult. And you're asked to go in front of the temple before your entire community, And you decide whether you still wanna keep moving forward in the church or you decide to not get baptized. And the very few times when you would choose not to be baptized or not to belong, entire family no longer speaks to you. They'll look at you with pity, because you're gonna go to hell basically, even when you're with families and I'm saying, because I brothers or cousins, family members who, when they decided to sort of leave the church, not go against the leader, but just leave the church.

This is what happens to them. They're not good enough to be part of the family. But when you go against the leader, then that's when you're stepping on very dangerous territory. And when you're in the inside circle, and you choose to speak up about what you know, then you're stepping on very serious grounds because you're talking about politicians now that are involved, you're talking about major companies that are now involved. And these are Mexican and American companies. This is an organization that's around the world, 57 countries.

And. Yeah. So that's why, I guess, with the E predators movement, who I'm partnering with. it just moves me because we all have such similar stories and it's not only religious cults. It's also cults. I have a dear friend Indy, Oxenberg, and we sometimes we heal from each other we follow each other on Instagram and when I'm feeling low and down, like she always has words of encouragement and then vice versa. We just like, because we survived a cult and we were in a sex cult.

We were in a cult within a cult And so we just, as survivors, we sort of feed on each other's energy and love and compassion. And, Alexa, who is the organizer of the E predators movement, she has such a compelling story. And I remember when she told me for the first time we were doing boards for that second rally in protest that we were gonna do against red light, for being enablers of these predators. And we just keep saying, it's like, yeah, they did it, but they have a world of enablers. In my case, it was the bishops. And you have these businessmen and politicians but then you have the music industry and the entertainment industry, and it just keeps going broader and broader. And then there are survivors like Nela, she has a story so powerful of her predator who had a, she had a baby with her predator.

And can you imagine like the domestic abuse that went on in her life and it's just all of these predator stories. I listen to them and it's like, oh my God, I'm not alone. I am not alone. It's just, it happened to her. And it happened to her and we just have different stories, I am not alone. But How can we help each other to just keep going for our little ones, to keep going for other little ones, even if they're not ours, but just. Just Stop the cycle of abuse. Just stop it. Stop the war on women. Stop the war on children. Stop violating us. Stop taking advantage of us and using our bodies as weapons against us. We are human beings, women. We are human beings. Children are human beings. We're hoping that platforms like this, they really can help us.

And I think that the E predators movement is, is just gonna keep growing. It's just gonna keep growing because it's a survivor's led movement and we're all coming from different backs stories. And we're just gonna become this one massive movement. And, we're, we're working on taking it to Mexico as well. So, I think that mental health awareness is something that should be legally spoken about in our education. When I spoke to Elisa, my friend who was in mental health when I had my mental breakdown. And I told her everything that had happened and I was crying like a child and I was in a re-victimized mode, something I hadn't done in a long time. And I said the meanest things to me, I said that I was not worth it.

And that's why this happened to me because I was such a piece of shit. And I said the meanest things to me, Like that's why this all happened to me because I didn't deserve living. Like, I was so mean to myself and I had to understand, and my friend Alisa helped me understand because she works in mental health that it's normal. It's normal. What happened to you? We're human. Can you understand everything that happened in your life, and you expect to keep going and your body to keep moving you forward and your mind to be just absolutely. Okay. And like nothing ever happened and I'm like, wait, she's right. and, she started sending me links.

And I am now very interested and I've read a lot on mind and spirit and finding, and validating the abuse that happened to the little you to happen to the teenage you the 20 year old you, the 30 year old you, the you yesterday. And to say, Hey, like, you're amazing. Like you're human keep moving forward because, we're human beings and this is a beautiful life if we understand that we're not perfect and life isn't perfect. And sometimes things aren't fair and I get it, but just be the best person that you possibly can. help when you know you can help. and be the best version of yourself, not what is good, because that word was shoved down my throat for so long. And it's no, it's not being good. It's just be better, for yourself first and foremost. And then for those who love you and who you love.

Angela Rose: Well, what a light and what an inspiration you are. I would love for people. If they would love to connect with you or engage with you. Can you give us how to find you on YouTube or social media?

Sochil Martin: Yeah, I have a YouTube channel, a healing YouTube channel. It's SochilMartin.healing Martin.healing. You guys can look me up and you guys will probably find my name. What's called healing. And it's really much about just my journey and finding myself. It doesn't have too many followers. I'm just kind of getting other voices out there from the Cult that I was in and sort of talking about what happened inside and how we live our lives today. And then I'm on Instagram as SochilMartin.healing. And I have a lot of reels that focus on freedom and what is freedom and finding, my voice and, support with the E predators movement. And other future projects and organizations that I'm partnering with that are incredible. And so, yeah, I hope that they can follow us and see what we're all doing. And also maybe. if you guys can follow E predators, I think it's, something that we need now and it's coming and I think it's time.

Angela Rose: Well, you are such an incredible soul and your story just really just gives so much strength to me personally, and to all the survivors. Thank you for your voice. Thank you for your vulnerability. Thank you for your courage. Thank you for your openness. I am so incredibly inspired and my heart is with you. I'm giving you huge virtual hug for sharing your experience with us today. So for anybody watching again, we thank you so much for joining us for another episode of the Survivors.org Podcast, helping survivors to thrive after trauma. Again, this episode is sponsored by Color Street Nails, a creative beauty brand with limitless possibilities. Remember to love yourself, support each other, and together we can change the. Thank you.

Intro/Outro: For all survivors and their loved ones tuning in, please remember that you are not alone and it's not your fault. If you need support or resources, please visit us at Survivors.org.