Selected Podcast
Health and Well-being After 40: Part 2
Life after 40 can feel complicated. Our guest panel explores perceptions around midlife, and experiences of balancing self-care, parenting, caregiving, relationships and more.
Featured Speakers:
In 2022, Rhonda took on the role of President of The Arts Commission Board, where she has already served a three-year term. She is the first person of color in the history of the organization to take on this role. She also serves as a member of the Leadership committee of the Toledo Metropolitan Area Council of Governments (TMACOG), and is a cabinet member and donor of Girls Scouts of Western Ohio’s campaign Empower HER. Rhonda previously served on numerous key corporate boards including the YWCA, the American Heart Association, Toledo Ballet, The University of Toledo’s Media Foundation Board, the Art Tatum African American Resource Center, and ProMedica Russell J. Ebeid Hospital Foundation Board, where she served as Chair, and the maximum term of six years. Rhonda holds a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism from Michigan State University and completed graduate studies in International Journalism in London, England. She is the mother of adult twin daughters, Savannah Rose and Sarah Ann.
Jackie Vannuyen, MD, is an obstetrician/gynecologist with ProMedica Physicians. She screens for and treats diseases and conditions of the female reproductive organs and cares for women during their pregnancy and postpartum period. Dr. Vannuyen believes that every person should be an active participant in their health. She enjoys working with patients to decide what treatment is best for them.
Lori Johnston is president of Paramount Health Care, Inc. She earned a Bachelor of Business Administration at the University of Toledo and a Master of Business Administration at The Ohio State University. She is active in the community, serving on the boards of Toledo Mud Hens and Walleye sports teams, Compassion Health Toledo, St. Francis de Sales Foundation, as well as the Advisory Council for the Area Office on Aging of Northwest Ohio. Johnston is currently the president of the board for the Ohio Association of Health Plans.
Rhonda Sewell | Jackie Vannuyen, MD | Lori Johnston
Rhonda Sewell is the Toledo Museum of Art’s inaugural Director of Belonging & Community Engagement. Prior to her role at the Museum, Rhonda was the Director of Governmental and External Affairs for the Toledo Lucas County Public Library, where she worked for 15 years.In 2022, Rhonda took on the role of President of The Arts Commission Board, where she has already served a three-year term. She is the first person of color in the history of the organization to take on this role. She also serves as a member of the Leadership committee of the Toledo Metropolitan Area Council of Governments (TMACOG), and is a cabinet member and donor of Girls Scouts of Western Ohio’s campaign Empower HER. Rhonda previously served on numerous key corporate boards including the YWCA, the American Heart Association, Toledo Ballet, The University of Toledo’s Media Foundation Board, the Art Tatum African American Resource Center, and ProMedica Russell J. Ebeid Hospital Foundation Board, where she served as Chair, and the maximum term of six years. Rhonda holds a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism from Michigan State University and completed graduate studies in International Journalism in London, England. She is the mother of adult twin daughters, Savannah Rose and Sarah Ann.
Jackie Vannuyen, MD, is an obstetrician/gynecologist with ProMedica Physicians. She screens for and treats diseases and conditions of the female reproductive organs and cares for women during their pregnancy and postpartum period. Dr. Vannuyen believes that every person should be an active participant in their health. She enjoys working with patients to decide what treatment is best for them.
Lori Johnston is president of Paramount Health Care, Inc. She earned a Bachelor of Business Administration at the University of Toledo and a Master of Business Administration at The Ohio State University. She is active in the community, serving on the boards of Toledo Mud Hens and Walleye sports teams, Compassion Health Toledo, St. Francis de Sales Foundation, as well as the Advisory Council for the Area Office on Aging of Northwest Ohio. Johnston is currently the president of the board for the Ohio Association of Health Plans.
Transcription:
Health and Well-being After 40: Part 2
Joey Wahler (Host): This is Happily Ever After 40, a podcast brought to you by ProMedica, where we discuss midlife health and wellbeing. In this first episode, our panel will explore life after 40, the joys, challenges and how we can bring balance to this importance stage of life. Thanks for listening. I'm Joey Wahler.
Our guests, we have three: Lori Johnston, President of Paramount Healthcare who serves on various boards, including that of baseball's fame Minor League Team, the Toledo Mud Hens; Dr. Jackie Vannuyen, an obstetrician and gynecologist with ProMedica Physicians and serving on the board as well as being past chair of Northwest Ohio Girls on the Run; as well as Rhonda Sewell, Inaugural Director of Belonging and Community Engagement for the Toledo Museum of Art and the first person of color serving as President of the Arts Commission Board, plus former Chair of the ProMedica Russell J. Ebeid Children's Hospital Foundation Board. I got to take a deep breath after those long titles. Ladies, thanks for joining us.
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Thank you.
Lori Johnston: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): You're obviously all very busy and very accomplished. So let's get right to it. First, for you, Lori, in a nutshell, why do you think age 40 is a good time to, shall we say, recalibrate and prioritize certain things differently in our lives?
Lori Johnston: Well, I think at age 40, there's a real change in kind of your priorities in life. And I think that most people by that point have a family that's getting busy. And so all of a sudden, you're layering in trying to maintain a career, grow your career, and also have all these other demands outside of the work environment and stay involved in a community. And so I think it is really a point at which all of the different priorities start to come down on women. And I think it's hard to sometimes prioritize yourself in that mix of things. And so I think it's, as I look back, probably the point at which I started not paying attention to myself, because it was all about work, my family, my spouse, my parents were getting older at that point. And so I think it's a good point. And it's just a time when your life changes on you. And I think that that's why it's important to talk about that change that just naturally happens.
Joey Wahler (Host): And so speaking of prioritizing yourself, for you, Dr. Vannuyen, when, what are some things like screenings, for instance, that people 40 and over should be more diligent about concerning their health at that age?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Well, especially for women, definitely breast care screening. Most of the time, women in their forties are kind of complete with their childbearing, but then you forget about yourself, and colon cancer screening. And you may be getting older and not exercising or eating as well as you get busy, as Lori said, with all the doing. So it's important to prioritize our health as women, but moms come last.
Joey Wahler (Host): Well, we're talking here then it sounds like so far about a balancing act, really. And so for you, Rhonda, what are some common perceptions about midlife, so to speak? And how do they compare with your actual experience especially when it comes to trying to juggle everything as you get older?
Rhonda Sewell: I wish I had the magic answer for the juggling part, because I'm still trying to figure that all out. But my cohorts here hit on some really interesting subjects, especially Dr. Vannuyen and talking about hitting this age of being past 40. And I always call it a seasoned age. I don't say older. I always talk to my girlfriends about we are now seasoned and my one friend always says, "No, we're spicy" at this stage. But balancing is always a trick, I think, for just professional people. Whether they're male or female, balancing it all. But as Dr. Vannuyen said, being a mom, and I'm a mom of twin adult children who are age 22, I never stopped being a mom.
And I heard a speaker the other day talk about moms especially have to be unapologetic when it comes to prioritizing their children. So if we all adopt that, I think, you know, that juggling and that balance, all works itself out. And I think that Lori hit on some interesting points of like when you are 40, I remember turning 40 and having a big party. And with that party, I said, and this is my favorite quote, "I was militant about the validity of my truth or my story," and Gloria Naylor, an author said that, and I've adopted that quote for the seasoned time in my life, that the balancing act is like me knowing my true north, me being unapologetic about if I have too much on the plate, to just stop and say, "You know, I don't have to be at everything." Slowing down, I'm still trying to learn that lesson a little bit, but I think that balance comes in giving yourself permission. And I gave myself permission at age 40 to truly be a grown up and make decisions and learn that no is a full sentence.
Joey Wahler (Host): So for you, Lori, any differences or surprises with this point in your life, 40 and above, compared with what you expected?
Lori Johnston: I'm not sure there's any surprises. My children are also adult children now. And so I think that I didn't realize how fun that would be. You appreciate when your kids are young, it's fun. And then, they're teenagers and it's busy and some moments aren't fun, right? But overall, it's fun. But I think that that for me has been a surprise of just the gratitude that I feel for just seeing them be adults and successful and their own people and very different from each other. And, so I think that that is probably something that's been unexpected. I don't know what I expected. I guess I didn't experience. And so I think that that's been different.
I think the other thing is just like how comfortable I am with myself now. And I think that, when you're younger, you're trying to prove yourself whether it's professionally or you really, as a parent, are inexperienced. I think my 30s were very unsettling and I was constantly trying to prove myself. And I think once you get over 40, you kind of go, "Okay, I'm not perfect, but I'm going to do my best." So I think that that part is maybe a little surprising too, because I was always very competitive with myself, pushing myself. And I think, as Rhonda mentioned, that just getting to where I was comfortable to kind of not feel I had to be perfect in every aspect and giving myself some grace was really an important thing.
Joey Wahler (Host): How about you, Dr. Vannuyen What obviously becoming a doctor involves so many sacrifices professionally and personally, I'm sure. So what's the best thing about getting to that plateau and thereafter? What's the positive thing you've taken away from it more than anything else?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: I mean to really reflect on and reiterate what all the ladies are saying here is really that self-care. Self-care is not selfish, and especially as moms and professional moms to take time for yourself. And if you can't make every activity or you can't do every task to prove ourselves in a patriarchal system, to accept that and to know who you are to take care of yourself, to take that time and to say, no, that's a tough balancing act. But I think that is where that comfort is, as you get older past your 40s and your kids are a little bit on autopilot, my children are also emerging adults, so to let them go and be who they want and also to say, "It's okay for me to be who I want."
Joey Wahler (Host): Also, regarding parenting, for you, Rhonda, you mentioned you have adult twin daughters. I believe Savannah Rose and Sarah Anne, beautiful names by the way.
Rhonda Sewell: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): Sure. So other than trying to divvy up that time between them and you, how does parenting otherwise change mainly, would you say, as our children start to grow up?
Rhonda Sewell: It really changes a lot. I think Lori touched on it. You enter a different relationship with your emerging and adult children, because they really are expressing their independence at this time. And you really have to allow them to make really some failures. I have a best friend in DC and she's actually a mom coach. And she says that all the time to some of her clients, that you really have to let them go and failure is okay because their learning life lessons. Obviously, you step in when you have to. But she always says that you become less of a manager of their lives. So with my adult children, I'm no longer the manager of their lives. I allow them to manage their own lives. And I think the relationship from that, because they have a brand new perspective as adult children, and I get to like go out to dinner with them and kind of hang out as the cool mom. And they want to be with me. And it's just a beautiful relationship and you're really watching them grow. You're watching all of the firm foundation that you set for them as children to manifest. And it's just a beautiful, beautiful relationship. It's such a different season, I call it, in their lives and mine now as an empty nester.
Joey Wahler (Host): When they finally start picking up the bill, you know, they're really grown up, right?
Rhonda Sewell: I'm waiting on that. I'm waiting on that part.
Joey Wahler (Host): So Lori, switching gears, caregiving changes around midlife, if you will, because our parents are usually seniors by then and naturally helping take care of them can really be a major undertaking, right?
Lori Johnston: Yes. I've recently lost both of my parents in the last four years. And so, fresh experience, right? And I think one of the things that was most difficult about that, primarily with my dad, I would say my mom was more compliant just by the nature of her personality, but getting into this different relationship where you almost, using Rhonda's term, become the manager again, because someone has to kind of help direct, making sure that they got the care that they need and that they have transportation if they got to that point.
I have two brothers, one older, one younger, and so I was kind of like the dispatch person. So I was always the one who had to know what the schedule was for the week. And then, every Sunday, I'd send a text message to my two brothers and say, "Okay, this week, we have the cardiologist. We have a hair appointment. We have whatever." And I was blessed that we were all within an hour of my parents. And so we would kind of all take turns. So I was very blessed to have that support system, so it wasn't all on me. But I think that change in the relationship, where you stepped back into that role of making sure that everything was taken care of, kind of like you do when your children are younger. And all of a sudden, I had a calendar again that had dates and times and just managing all of that. And then, my dad passed first and then my mom had macular degeneration, so she couldn't drive. So that added then a whole 'nother layer of when one didn't have transportation, and so, yeah, it becomes then a whole 'nother set of priorities that you're juggling.
Joey Wahler (Host): Now, Dr. Vannuyen, what about tending to relationships besides those with our kids, as we get to 40 and above, be it our significant, our friends or colleagues? How does that change in that age range?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Well, as a gynecologist, I get this a lot. I am an unlicensed therapist and an unlicensed sex therapist where a lot of women will tell me, you know, "I'm so busy and I'm so tired. And I'm not getting what I need from my partner" or "I don't want to have sex." It's not usually a physiologic thing. It is a life thing. You get, as I said, so busy in the doing, you do lose sight of your partner, who is supposed to be a partner in parenting, a partner in life, and you have to remember to really stay connected, however that is, and that's tough to add that into that balance.
Joey Wahler (Host): Rhonda, we mentioned you're on numerous boards in the area, especially involving the arts. As we get older, how important is serving your community for people, do you think?
Rhonda Sewell: I'm so glad you asked that question. I define myself as a servant leader and that started in my twenties. Actually, it's a calling. My mom always told me to really pour into the community because it's the community that helped to raise me as she was a single parent. My dad was very involved, but lived in another state. So all of the care taking and raising of myself as an only child came from my mom who's a very strong professional woman, still working in the field of aging, actually. And she always taught me that.
So I think servant leadership and community involvement is so important. It's one of the reasons why I was selected and hired for the role that I have at the Toledo Museum of Art. Part of my title has community engagement in it. I spent a long time building trust in community. I think it's just who I am. It's part of my core values. I always say it's in my DNA. I pour into the community because what you see before you, the woman who's active on all of the boards, who volunteers my time in community with worthwhile causes that I'm close to the mission of, like ProMedica. I'm no longer on the board or chairing the board of the Toledo Children's Hospital, but I'm definitely someone who's an ambassador for ProMedica because I believe in their mission, I believe in what they're doing. So that type of pouring in, I think, keeps us very healthy actually. And there's been scientific research about how much the arts can help. Even visiting a museum, there's a UK study that talks about it can add two years onto your life, actually.
So those types of things pouring in giving of yourself, giving to others really helps you as a person. It really benefits you as well as helping others. So that is one of the most important, I think, dimensions of who I am as a person. I always describe myself as a connector of people and a servant leader.
Lori Johnston: So this is Lori, I'd like to add that, I think, part of when you get over 40, you also appreciate what your strengths are as an individual. And so I was involved long before then, but I think I'm way more effective now, because I'm selective at what I get involved in in the community. And it's where either I have a passion for the cause or where I know that I can add value to the organization based on what my skills are. And I think as we age, and I'm a little older than these two young ladies...
Rhonda Sewell: Seasoned. More seasoned, Lori.
Lori Johnston: I'm more seasoned, right. But I do think that, for me, it's also about what my purpose is going to be when my kids are grown up and have their own families. And when my career ends, what is my purpose then? How do I use the God-given talents I have in the best way possible? And so I think that is one of the things that you do learn about yourself because you're limited with your time and resources and how do you use them in the best way possible.
And so I think that whole community involvement and engagement. And it looks different on all of us. Some people, they're not comfortable being engaged, but they're supportive financially. Other people can't be financially supportive, but they give their time. And it looks different in different people, but I think the whole understanding what our purpose is, is so important and that goes with us through our whole life.
Joey Wahler (Host): And as we sum up here, Dr. Vannuyen, obviously, you're connected to the community just by being a doctor. But beyond that, any thoughts you want to add to what the other two ladies just said?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: I mean, I don't really have much to add because they've said it so well, but then I would also caution that we have to limit and be able to say no, and really be selective of how we want to involve ourselves in the community, whether it's our time or our talents or our treasure, to really be able to still do that and then balance all the other things that we want to balance.
Joey Wahler (Host): Very well said again. Well, folks, we trust your now more familiar with health and wellbeing after the age of 40. Ladies. Thanks so much again.
Lori Johnston: Thank you.
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Thank you.
Rhonda Sewell: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): And for more information, please do visit promedica.org. Again, that's P-R-O-M-E-D-I-C-A.org Now, if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social media. And thanks again for listening. Until next time, stay happily ever after 40. I'm Joey Wahler.
Health and Well-being After 40: Part 2
Joey Wahler (Host): This is Happily Ever After 40, a podcast brought to you by ProMedica, where we discuss midlife health and wellbeing. In this first episode, our panel will explore life after 40, the joys, challenges and how we can bring balance to this importance stage of life. Thanks for listening. I'm Joey Wahler.
Our guests, we have three: Lori Johnston, President of Paramount Healthcare who serves on various boards, including that of baseball's fame Minor League Team, the Toledo Mud Hens; Dr. Jackie Vannuyen, an obstetrician and gynecologist with ProMedica Physicians and serving on the board as well as being past chair of Northwest Ohio Girls on the Run; as well as Rhonda Sewell, Inaugural Director of Belonging and Community Engagement for the Toledo Museum of Art and the first person of color serving as President of the Arts Commission Board, plus former Chair of the ProMedica Russell J. Ebeid Children's Hospital Foundation Board. I got to take a deep breath after those long titles. Ladies, thanks for joining us.
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Thank you.
Lori Johnston: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): You're obviously all very busy and very accomplished. So let's get right to it. First, for you, Lori, in a nutshell, why do you think age 40 is a good time to, shall we say, recalibrate and prioritize certain things differently in our lives?
Lori Johnston: Well, I think at age 40, there's a real change in kind of your priorities in life. And I think that most people by that point have a family that's getting busy. And so all of a sudden, you're layering in trying to maintain a career, grow your career, and also have all these other demands outside of the work environment and stay involved in a community. And so I think it is really a point at which all of the different priorities start to come down on women. And I think it's hard to sometimes prioritize yourself in that mix of things. And so I think it's, as I look back, probably the point at which I started not paying attention to myself, because it was all about work, my family, my spouse, my parents were getting older at that point. And so I think it's a good point. And it's just a time when your life changes on you. And I think that that's why it's important to talk about that change that just naturally happens.
Joey Wahler (Host): And so speaking of prioritizing yourself, for you, Dr. Vannuyen, when, what are some things like screenings, for instance, that people 40 and over should be more diligent about concerning their health at that age?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Well, especially for women, definitely breast care screening. Most of the time, women in their forties are kind of complete with their childbearing, but then you forget about yourself, and colon cancer screening. And you may be getting older and not exercising or eating as well as you get busy, as Lori said, with all the doing. So it's important to prioritize our health as women, but moms come last.
Joey Wahler (Host): Well, we're talking here then it sounds like so far about a balancing act, really. And so for you, Rhonda, what are some common perceptions about midlife, so to speak? And how do they compare with your actual experience especially when it comes to trying to juggle everything as you get older?
Rhonda Sewell: I wish I had the magic answer for the juggling part, because I'm still trying to figure that all out. But my cohorts here hit on some really interesting subjects, especially Dr. Vannuyen and talking about hitting this age of being past 40. And I always call it a seasoned age. I don't say older. I always talk to my girlfriends about we are now seasoned and my one friend always says, "No, we're spicy" at this stage. But balancing is always a trick, I think, for just professional people. Whether they're male or female, balancing it all. But as Dr. Vannuyen said, being a mom, and I'm a mom of twin adult children who are age 22, I never stopped being a mom.
And I heard a speaker the other day talk about moms especially have to be unapologetic when it comes to prioritizing their children. So if we all adopt that, I think, you know, that juggling and that balance, all works itself out. And I think that Lori hit on some interesting points of like when you are 40, I remember turning 40 and having a big party. And with that party, I said, and this is my favorite quote, "I was militant about the validity of my truth or my story," and Gloria Naylor, an author said that, and I've adopted that quote for the seasoned time in my life, that the balancing act is like me knowing my true north, me being unapologetic about if I have too much on the plate, to just stop and say, "You know, I don't have to be at everything." Slowing down, I'm still trying to learn that lesson a little bit, but I think that balance comes in giving yourself permission. And I gave myself permission at age 40 to truly be a grown up and make decisions and learn that no is a full sentence.
Joey Wahler (Host): So for you, Lori, any differences or surprises with this point in your life, 40 and above, compared with what you expected?
Lori Johnston: I'm not sure there's any surprises. My children are also adult children now. And so I think that I didn't realize how fun that would be. You appreciate when your kids are young, it's fun. And then, they're teenagers and it's busy and some moments aren't fun, right? But overall, it's fun. But I think that that for me has been a surprise of just the gratitude that I feel for just seeing them be adults and successful and their own people and very different from each other. And, so I think that that is probably something that's been unexpected. I don't know what I expected. I guess I didn't experience. And so I think that that's been different.
I think the other thing is just like how comfortable I am with myself now. And I think that, when you're younger, you're trying to prove yourself whether it's professionally or you really, as a parent, are inexperienced. I think my 30s were very unsettling and I was constantly trying to prove myself. And I think once you get over 40, you kind of go, "Okay, I'm not perfect, but I'm going to do my best." So I think that that part is maybe a little surprising too, because I was always very competitive with myself, pushing myself. And I think, as Rhonda mentioned, that just getting to where I was comfortable to kind of not feel I had to be perfect in every aspect and giving myself some grace was really an important thing.
Joey Wahler (Host): How about you, Dr. Vannuyen What obviously becoming a doctor involves so many sacrifices professionally and personally, I'm sure. So what's the best thing about getting to that plateau and thereafter? What's the positive thing you've taken away from it more than anything else?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: I mean to really reflect on and reiterate what all the ladies are saying here is really that self-care. Self-care is not selfish, and especially as moms and professional moms to take time for yourself. And if you can't make every activity or you can't do every task to prove ourselves in a patriarchal system, to accept that and to know who you are to take care of yourself, to take that time and to say, no, that's a tough balancing act. But I think that is where that comfort is, as you get older past your 40s and your kids are a little bit on autopilot, my children are also emerging adults, so to let them go and be who they want and also to say, "It's okay for me to be who I want."
Joey Wahler (Host): Also, regarding parenting, for you, Rhonda, you mentioned you have adult twin daughters. I believe Savannah Rose and Sarah Anne, beautiful names by the way.
Rhonda Sewell: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): Sure. So other than trying to divvy up that time between them and you, how does parenting otherwise change mainly, would you say, as our children start to grow up?
Rhonda Sewell: It really changes a lot. I think Lori touched on it. You enter a different relationship with your emerging and adult children, because they really are expressing their independence at this time. And you really have to allow them to make really some failures. I have a best friend in DC and she's actually a mom coach. And she says that all the time to some of her clients, that you really have to let them go and failure is okay because their learning life lessons. Obviously, you step in when you have to. But she always says that you become less of a manager of their lives. So with my adult children, I'm no longer the manager of their lives. I allow them to manage their own lives. And I think the relationship from that, because they have a brand new perspective as adult children, and I get to like go out to dinner with them and kind of hang out as the cool mom. And they want to be with me. And it's just a beautiful relationship and you're really watching them grow. You're watching all of the firm foundation that you set for them as children to manifest. And it's just a beautiful, beautiful relationship. It's such a different season, I call it, in their lives and mine now as an empty nester.
Joey Wahler (Host): When they finally start picking up the bill, you know, they're really grown up, right?
Rhonda Sewell: I'm waiting on that. I'm waiting on that part.
Joey Wahler (Host): So Lori, switching gears, caregiving changes around midlife, if you will, because our parents are usually seniors by then and naturally helping take care of them can really be a major undertaking, right?
Lori Johnston: Yes. I've recently lost both of my parents in the last four years. And so, fresh experience, right? And I think one of the things that was most difficult about that, primarily with my dad, I would say my mom was more compliant just by the nature of her personality, but getting into this different relationship where you almost, using Rhonda's term, become the manager again, because someone has to kind of help direct, making sure that they got the care that they need and that they have transportation if they got to that point.
I have two brothers, one older, one younger, and so I was kind of like the dispatch person. So I was always the one who had to know what the schedule was for the week. And then, every Sunday, I'd send a text message to my two brothers and say, "Okay, this week, we have the cardiologist. We have a hair appointment. We have whatever." And I was blessed that we were all within an hour of my parents. And so we would kind of all take turns. So I was very blessed to have that support system, so it wasn't all on me. But I think that change in the relationship, where you stepped back into that role of making sure that everything was taken care of, kind of like you do when your children are younger. And all of a sudden, I had a calendar again that had dates and times and just managing all of that. And then, my dad passed first and then my mom had macular degeneration, so she couldn't drive. So that added then a whole 'nother layer of when one didn't have transportation, and so, yeah, it becomes then a whole 'nother set of priorities that you're juggling.
Joey Wahler (Host): Now, Dr. Vannuyen, what about tending to relationships besides those with our kids, as we get to 40 and above, be it our significant, our friends or colleagues? How does that change in that age range?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Well, as a gynecologist, I get this a lot. I am an unlicensed therapist and an unlicensed sex therapist where a lot of women will tell me, you know, "I'm so busy and I'm so tired. And I'm not getting what I need from my partner" or "I don't want to have sex." It's not usually a physiologic thing. It is a life thing. You get, as I said, so busy in the doing, you do lose sight of your partner, who is supposed to be a partner in parenting, a partner in life, and you have to remember to really stay connected, however that is, and that's tough to add that into that balance.
Joey Wahler (Host): Rhonda, we mentioned you're on numerous boards in the area, especially involving the arts. As we get older, how important is serving your community for people, do you think?
Rhonda Sewell: I'm so glad you asked that question. I define myself as a servant leader and that started in my twenties. Actually, it's a calling. My mom always told me to really pour into the community because it's the community that helped to raise me as she was a single parent. My dad was very involved, but lived in another state. So all of the care taking and raising of myself as an only child came from my mom who's a very strong professional woman, still working in the field of aging, actually. And she always taught me that.
So I think servant leadership and community involvement is so important. It's one of the reasons why I was selected and hired for the role that I have at the Toledo Museum of Art. Part of my title has community engagement in it. I spent a long time building trust in community. I think it's just who I am. It's part of my core values. I always say it's in my DNA. I pour into the community because what you see before you, the woman who's active on all of the boards, who volunteers my time in community with worthwhile causes that I'm close to the mission of, like ProMedica. I'm no longer on the board or chairing the board of the Toledo Children's Hospital, but I'm definitely someone who's an ambassador for ProMedica because I believe in their mission, I believe in what they're doing. So that type of pouring in, I think, keeps us very healthy actually. And there's been scientific research about how much the arts can help. Even visiting a museum, there's a UK study that talks about it can add two years onto your life, actually.
So those types of things pouring in giving of yourself, giving to others really helps you as a person. It really benefits you as well as helping others. So that is one of the most important, I think, dimensions of who I am as a person. I always describe myself as a connector of people and a servant leader.
Lori Johnston: So this is Lori, I'd like to add that, I think, part of when you get over 40, you also appreciate what your strengths are as an individual. And so I was involved long before then, but I think I'm way more effective now, because I'm selective at what I get involved in in the community. And it's where either I have a passion for the cause or where I know that I can add value to the organization based on what my skills are. And I think as we age, and I'm a little older than these two young ladies...
Rhonda Sewell: Seasoned. More seasoned, Lori.
Lori Johnston: I'm more seasoned, right. But I do think that, for me, it's also about what my purpose is going to be when my kids are grown up and have their own families. And when my career ends, what is my purpose then? How do I use the God-given talents I have in the best way possible? And so I think that is one of the things that you do learn about yourself because you're limited with your time and resources and how do you use them in the best way possible.
And so I think that whole community involvement and engagement. And it looks different on all of us. Some people, they're not comfortable being engaged, but they're supportive financially. Other people can't be financially supportive, but they give their time. And it looks different in different people, but I think the whole understanding what our purpose is, is so important and that goes with us through our whole life.
Joey Wahler (Host): And as we sum up here, Dr. Vannuyen, obviously, you're connected to the community just by being a doctor. But beyond that, any thoughts you want to add to what the other two ladies just said?
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: I mean, I don't really have much to add because they've said it so well, but then I would also caution that we have to limit and be able to say no, and really be selective of how we want to involve ourselves in the community, whether it's our time or our talents or our treasure, to really be able to still do that and then balance all the other things that we want to balance.
Joey Wahler (Host): Very well said again. Well, folks, we trust your now more familiar with health and wellbeing after the age of 40. Ladies. Thanks so much again.
Lori Johnston: Thank you.
Dr. Jackie Vannuyen: Thank you.
Rhonda Sewell: Thank you.
Joey Wahler (Host): And for more information, please do visit promedica.org. Again, that's P-R-O-M-E-D-I-C-A.org Now, if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social media. And thanks again for listening. Until next time, stay happily ever after 40. I'm Joey Wahler.