Transcription:
Managing Your Stress: Part 1

Caitlin Whyte: Welcome to Happily Ever After 40, a podcast brought to you by ProMedica, where we discuss midlife health and wellbeing. In this episode, we're talking all about stress. Stress impacts many facets of our wellbeing. And joining us are Marsha Dres and Sierra Farmer with ProMedica's Employee Assistance Program or EAP to help identify unique stressors for those over 40.

They will also share how to make yourself a priority to effectively manage stress. So Sierra, I'll start with you. Let's get a definition here. What is stress?

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: Stress, you know, impacts everyone. And I think we could have so many different definitions of stress, but according to Websters, it's a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes body, so either physical or mental tension.

And with stress, you know, there's two different types and so there's your short term or your acute stress, or you can have your long term or your more chronic stress.

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: Yeah. And so how does this play out? You know, specifically with this podcast series we're looking at, you know, life after 40 or life over 40, you know, so, you know, the unique stressors that we in that camp may face.

I mean, it's interesting actually, stress gets better as we age, but specific stressors, you know, may be, you know, we've launched our kids. We're empty nesters jobs. You know, we may have been in for quite some time, but it's not really a time to change career paths. Some of us may be taking care of parents, so we're raising kids and we're taking care of parents sometimes.

And of course health changes, you know, for some menopause may start for women and sadly, with the opioid epidemic, we have a large group of grandparents who are actually raising their grandchildren. So it takes 'em out of that kind of fun role and into, you know, that responsible parent role. And then of course with other economic stressors and post pandemic, you know, we see changes in people's financial situations as well.

Caitlin Whyte: Well, Marsha, let's stick with you and dive into those a bit more. The unique stressors for those 40

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: and over. It's interesting, you know, for for men, they may be dealing with a lot of stress even in their forties where they don't feel completely settled in their life, particularly if they feel like a lack of options or their biological clock is ticking.

Oftentimes we think about this in relation to women, but this is something that can happen for men as well. And there's actually a term that's being bantered about called man Anxiety. So my anxiety

Caitlin Whyte: my anxiety. I

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: love that. Yeah. And it shows, research shows, you know, that for middle aged men under psychological stress, they're three times more likely to have a stroke than those without any psychological symptoms.

So why is this With men? A lot of times men tend to dismiss the symptoms. You know, they attribute it to maybe something physical, but not necessarily mental in nature. Now for women, you know, we start to come into our own, which was good news to me. As you know, I looked at stress across, you know, the lifespan respondents age 50 and over in one study were the least stressed, the least worried, and the least angry than their younger female.

Companions. So around the world, you know, what does it mean to be over 40 for women? It gets better . And there was a really neat study, it was called the Finding 40 Project by Amy Alki, and she interviewed 140 countries, women in 140 countries, and she found that, you know, they weren't at a point in their life where they were faced with the major decisions.

Where do I go to school to have a family to marry or not? And that getting older actually made them happier and that they still had time to pursue passions and maybe even new passions.

Caitlin Whyte: Well, we love hearing that it does get better at some point. . So Sierra, how can you detect when stress is becoming overwhelming?

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: So when we think about stress and how it impacts you, you know, Marsha talked a lot about recognizing the different stressors for after 40, and I think it's important to recognize, you know, how. How is stress impacting you? A lot of times we minimize and, and the reality is, is we all will experience stress, but really it's how the stress impacts us.

And so, you know, interesting enough, there was a poll in 2020 by the American Psychological Association and it's a stress in America poll. And like Marsha stated, it is interesting. The number starts to decrease as far as when they looked at most days that people identified being completely overwhelmed by stress.

Out of the people that they poll. The percentages go down as you get older, and so that age range of 35 to 44, both men and women, were about 48%, and then 45 to 64 we're looking at 21 to 27% and 65 and up is 9%. So it is interesting how we deal with. Over 40 I think looks a little different, and how stress impacts you also looks a little different.

So when we kind of look at three different parts of, you know, how to recognize how stress is impacting you, I always say, you know, recognize how it's impacting your mind, your body, and your spirit. And so with our mind, we may not notice that, you know, something is directly. Impacted by stress, but we may notice that we're losing things or we're having a hard time paying attention, you know?

Or you're like, I can't remember where I sat my keys, or, I can't remember what I did with that bill. I can't remember when that due date was. You may have to start with a paper calendar at this point, or maybe even your phone calendar, because stress does impact those things. Just recognizing your short term memory usually decreases when you have stress.

It makes it way more difficult to learn things, and I think this is important, especially depending on what your role is. You know, as a grandparent, you know, learning new things, they're a lot different than when you parented or even learning new roles in your job. You know, with technology continuing to advance, we have to be pretty quick on our feet.

Everything is quick, quick, quick. And so with stress, that can make learning difficult. Then also word finding. So I'm not sure if you've ever noticed, you know, when you're under stress or pressure, you may notice that you have a hard time finding the right words to say, or you may look at someone and say, I can't remember their name.

So that's something that's really common and we may just kind of minimize or kind of just brush it off. But it definitely is likely impacted due to stress. And then also with chronic stress, we wanna make sure that we recognize that it impacts the brain's ability to function. So when we are experiencing more long term stress and we're, we're having a hard time getting a grip on that, it definitely causes a decrease in regulation of our cortisol in our brain.

And so, again, that impacts all those things I mentioned. Your attention span, your memory, your word, finding your learning. Okay. So it's really important to recognize like, how are our brains impact? And then when we talk about body, which is physical, you know, a lot of times people will notice that they're having some physical complications, especially over 40.

You may start to notice more pain. You may start to be more mindful of the aches. You may start to have to go to the doctor more regularly for a variety of different health scans and things like that over 40. One of the most common things that I think we hear a lot about when it comes to stress is blood pressure, but recognizing like when you are stressed, obviously that's gonna impact that blood pressure and it's gonna make it more difficult for it to be maintained.

Another thing to recognize is stomach and gastro issues changing in sleep or appetite. So and, and this could be. Kind of hard to know, like, is this directly from stress? Is this from a hormone imbalance? Is this due to environmental factors? So it's really important to kind of think about the different things that are going on around you and to be able to pinpoint is this likely due to stress or is this something that I can change in my environment?

We also may see, you know, difficulties with healing. And when we say healing, you know, you. Have a cut on your hand or you may have a bruise. And so when you're stressed, it actually impacts that ability to heal quicker, which can cause more physical complications down the.

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: And then spiritually, of course, you know, when we're we're affected on a spiritual plane, this is where we might start to see in ourselves.

We're just lacking purpose and meaning and maybe feeling disconnected from others or our source of strength in life. And you know, this is not uncommon, for instance, when we're dealing with a loss or if we are faced with a terminal illness. But obviously it can happen, you know, at any stage in life and with any stressor.

But really, Lacking that peace and that comfort that we might normally feel and almost feeling disconnected from, you know, our own inner

Caitlin Whyte: strength. Absolutely. And Marsha, as we wrap up part one of the series here, how can you make yourself a priority wherein you tend to the stress in your life and manage it?

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: You know, I think it's really important. First, as you know, Sarah was identifying, we have to really look for the signs and not pass over them or keep powering through. You know, a lot of times in life that's what we think we have to do is just keep powering through, but we really need to practice some good self care.

There was an excellent Ted Talk that I listened to recently and the speaker talked about, you know, how to over. Chronic stress. Well, we gotta get back to the basics. You know, what am I doing as far as my sleep habits, my nutrition? Am I taking time for any kind of spiritual practice like prayer, meditation, mindfulness, you know, what's going on in terms of my connections with others in life?

Am I asking for enough help? You know, because sometimes when we're overwhelmed, we don't even know what we. It can be really awesome when people just show up and offer that help. You know, I recently lost my mom and it was amazing. The people that would just come, you know, didn't even have to be asked. And it taught me to do that for others in life.

You know, just show up. Don't wait to be asked. But we really gotta get back to, you know, the basics of self care. And in our busy lives, it can be hard to find the time to do that, and we may put ourselves second. So making ourselves a priority is really recognizing, you know, when I do. I am available to the people in my life.

I am more effective in my career, but if I don't do that, then I'm not gonna be bringing my full self to the picture.

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: I think it's also important to note, you know, over 40 you may notice things that you once did to help with stress don't work anymore. And so it's really important to reevaluate that you know, in different aspects of your life, different things are gonna work differently for you as far as decreasing stress, bringing more peace and joy in your life.

And so a lot of times people do get stuck and you know, what are things that they used to do? And it's like, well, what can you try now? What are some new things that you can.

Caitlin Whyte: I love that. Just show up. What a great reminder for all of us. Well, thank you both for sharing. I can't wait to hear more in part two of this discussion.

And thank you for listening. You can always find more information and resources@promedica.org. And until next time, stay happily ever after 40.