Transcription:
Managing Your Stress: Part 2

Caitlin Whyte: Welcome to Happily Ever After 40, a podcast brought to you by ProMedica, where we discuss midlife health and wellbeing. In this part two of our series on stress, we're talking about the best ways to manage stress. Back with us are Marsha Drees and Sierra Farmer with ProMedica's Employee Assistance Program or EAP. They will share how to protect your mind from stress and lead you through some stress-relieving exercises. Sierra, I'll start with you this time. What are some examples of ways to manage stress?

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: So, I think it's important again that we break this down in our mind, body, and spirit components. It allows for us to really pay attention to which part is being impacted the most by our stress. And then, we can kind of compartmentalize and say, "Okay, I need to work on my mind" or "I need to work on my body" or "I need to work on my spirit." And so when we think about mind, I always think about the first things first is what are your thoughts like? Are they pretty negative? Are you one of those people who goes to the worst case scenario? And I think the most important part is to be able to challenge those negative thoughts. And I usually encourage people, especially people in the working field who are struggling with feeling like they're down and work is pretty negative. And when they get home, it's negative. I say, "Okay. At the end of your day, I want you to write down three things that went well today and something you're looking forward to tomorrow." So, we really have to challenge the way that we think. And that's super important because a lot of times stress does come from negative thoughts. Obviously, it comes from environmental factors and other acute stressors that may be going on. A lot of this is within or without of our control. And I think that's really important too, is to focus on what's within your control. And again, that goes back to challenging the negative thoughts.

The other piece about your mind is to focus on what your intention is. And a lot of times when you stop and pause and you think about what is my intention on either acting in this way or doing this activity or going to this place? If it's not aligning with like your values, your peace, or your purpose, then you may want to let go of it. And that's really important, is to figure out what are some ways to kind of let go of things that are causing distress in your life.

And then, going to our body, I think a lot of times we think of body as physical. And I always say movement is like medicine. You know, moving your body can be just as good as a lot of these medications to help, especially with anxiety and depression. There's been a lot of studies that show exercise helps decrease those symptoms just as much as medication. However, sometimes your body may not feel like it wants to move, especially over 40. There may be a lot of aches and pains, and so that motivation may be decreased or you may be kind of comparing yourself to the 20-year-old you where you could run those marathons or, you know, go to the gym and knock out those hardcore cardios. But I do think it's important to give yourself grace physically and, if you can, to at least stretch every day. There's a lot of studies that show stretching at night can definitely help our bodies.

The other piece is to make sure that we are providing nutrients for our bodies. You know, are you skipping meals? Are you on the go so much that you're doing a lot of fast food and you're not really mindful of even what you're eating? And I think mindfulness is important, which I'm sure Marsha will talk about. So, just making sure that you're having a balanced nutritional intake and, you know, breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks and trying to make sure that we're hydrating ourselves with water. And so, that's really important. And again, I say be mindful of physical changes in your body, because a lot of times those are linked directly with stress, but it is really important for us to take care of ourselves physically as well.

Making sure you have a good sleep routine. Sleep is super important. I can't stress that enough. You know, what does your evening routine look like? Do you have a set bedtime? Are you doing things in your bedroom that kind of initiate your body and let your body know that it's time for rest? Or do you kind of ramp up and are you watching things that kind of ramp your mind before bed? Are you on your phone a lot before bed? Are you engaged in activities that are overstimulating versus things that help us to relax? So, I think that's really important overall, is just making sure that we're taking care of our mind and our body and trying to think of things a little bit more outside of the box. Nowadays, we do need to be a little bit more mindful of what works for us may not necessarily work for others.

Caitlin Whyte: I know that stretching has become so key for my morning routine, so glad to hear you mention that one. And Marsha, let's talk about that mindfulness that Sierra mentioned. How do you protect your brain and mind from stress?

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: Yeah. Stress as we've established, I mean, it's here to stay, but how we deal with it is all the difference. I think the idea of resilience is really helpful here. When we think about resilience, oftentimes we've been taught it's about bouncing back, you know, facing challenges. Brené Brown talks about resilience as rebuilding. And so, I liked the idea of when we're under stress or we're coming out of a particularly stressful period that we're rebuilding. And so, you know, in our 40s and above, it's good to look at, "Well, what do I want to be doing with my life?" You know, as Sierra said, "What are my priorities? What are my values at this point?"

So, mindfulness is really about being fully present. It's about intentional living. There's a lot of complicated ways you can explain it. But really as a therapist, that's generally what we're talking about. You know, when we get in our car at night to go home, do we turn on the radio or could we just ride home without the radio on and just let ourselves kind of walk through the day or release the day? When we're eating our meal, are we doing 10 things while we do that or are we actually, if we're on our own, you know, present, feeling the food in our mouth? Or with our family, you know, are we engaging in conversation with them? Are we connecting? Are they on their phones too or their devices? So, this idea of mindfulness, again, just being present to ourselves and the people that we're with.

And then, with resiliency, really kind of challenging ourselves. It's like, "Okay, what do I want to be doing?" Emily Capito, she did a TED Talk called Resiliency Field Trip. And the idea was to challenge yourself to do something new that maybe even scared you a little bit, but to take on a new endeavor. And she shared from a personal level how she did that to overcome some stress in her own life. And it was really refreshing to hear her ideas on, you know, kayaking with blindfolds and doing different, really out of the box kind of things, but to just enjoy life, to just really savor her life, you know, no matter what was going on and to overcome life, or challenges in life rather, through doing that.

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: Okay. I think you brought up a lot of good points, Marsha. And one thing that I really like is I am a huge believer in, you know, setting different milestones. So if you're getting ready to turn 42, 42 things you can do before 42. So the different bucket lists, I find that bucket lists can give folks the ability to have different things to look forward to that are within their control. And so, I usually encourage people like, "Okay, so we know that it's gonna be a stressful year. However, what are some things you can look forward to this year? Or some things that you want to accomplish or do?" And I'm talking, there can be very minimal, like small things to little bit more planning of trips or accomplishing a larger goal. So, I'm a really huge component. I love, love, love bucket lists, and I do think it helps with the spirit component of things and the mind, being able to kind of challenge the way we look at things, especially if you're struggling with kind of the negative thoughts of age.

Caitlin Whyte: Wonderful. So, we're going to walk through some stress management exercises to wrap up our series on stress here, and give listeners some things they can take from this podcast into their lives right after they're done listening. Marsha, kick us off with some breathing techniques?

Marsha Drees, MSSA, CEAP: Okay. Yeah, so breathing is, you know, central and we're obviously aware of our breathing when we're very stressed or having some health issues perhaps. But there's a specific rhythm to our breathing. And so, we can do some breathing exercises throughout the day, you know, to allow our body to replenish its oxygen. And so for the lungs outward, there's techniques like 4-7-8 Breathing by Dr. Andrew Weil, and that can give your organs and tissues a much needed oxygen boost. So, quite simply what we do is we close our mouth and we quietly inhale through our nose to a mental count of four. And then, we hold our breath for a count of seven, and then we exhale through our mouth making a whoosh sound for a count of eight. And then, we just repeat that process. I usually suggest people do that in three to four breath cycles throughout the day, and that will help alleviate that build up of stress throughout the day. So when we go home and we sit down, we're not engulfed with it.

Caitlin Whyte: Wonderful. Such an easy tip to implement. Thank you so much Marsha. And Sierra, you'll be leading us through a body scan. Can you tell us about that?

Sierra Farmer, MSW, LISW-S, CEAP: Absolutely. So, there's been a lot of studies. When we talk about mindfulness, there's a lot of different techniques that kind of are underneath that umbrella term of mindfulness. And one thing I find to be really helpful, especially, and it kind of goes into the mind, body and spirit component, is body scans. I think far too often we focus on just pain and we don't focus on the different parts of our body that are actually functioning well. And so yes, I am going to lead us into a body scan. So if you're listening and you're somewhere that you can get comfortable, I'm going to encourage you to find a comfortable position with your feet on the floor, just try to get comfortable, close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing that. That will help you to kind of be more mindful and present as we go through this body scan exercise.

So, I want you to take a few moments to settle and center yourself. Using the practice of listening to the sounds around you, noticing places when your body touches itself, like your eyelids or other objects that your body is touching. So, this could be your feet touching the floor, your body touching a chair or the couch, even your body touching the different layers of clothing that you have. I want you to begin practicing breathing in and breathing out, and come into the present moment. Let go of any regrets about the past or worries about the future.

Bring attention to your head, eyes and jaw, allowing any tension to just soften. Rest here for a few minutes, taking it all in and being mindful of your breathing in and breathing out. If you notice pain or emotional discomfort, bring kind and loving attention to that part of your body, making sure that you're breathing in and out.

Continue down into the shoulders and the chest, filling your body with kindness. Notice any discomfort, any tension, and I want you to invite it to soften. Bring a gentle and kind attention to any pain or emotion you may be experiencing. Try not to fight or resist it, just let it be as it is, making sure that you're breathing in and breathing out.

Bring attention to both of your arms together from the upper arms down to your fingertips. If this is a difficult time for you, let your hands rest on your heart, feeling this soothing and comforting touch, remembering to continue to deep breathe in and out.

Now, we're going to continue with the belly, back and pelvis, bringing kind, compassionate attention to every part of our body. If difficult feelings arise, either return to your breath or try repeating some loving kindness phrases such as, "May I be safe. May I be healthy. May I be peaceful. May I live with ease." Let these words land, receive them, let them nourish you. Continuing to breathe in and out, releasing any tension or pain that you may be experiencing in your belly, back and pelvis.

Now, we're going to bring attention to your thighs, knees, ankles, and feet, appreciating all that your body does and how hard it works for you. If you get distracted, return to those phrases and continuing to be mindful of your breathing in and out. If you feel overwhelmed by a feeling associated with a particular body part or area, you can always bypass that. But I encourage you to really be mindful and allow your breaths in and out to release that tension.

As you continue to breathe in and out, I want you to scan your entire body from your toes to the top of your head, breathing in and breathing out.

I want you to end with compassion for your entire body with all its scars, imperfections, discomforts, illnesses, pain or tension. As you breathe in and out, I want you to think about and love all the things that the different body parts we mentioned do for you. As you breathe in, I want you to breathe out the tension and, when you are ready to stretch, wiggle your fingers and toes, rotate your ankles and wrists, and open your eyes. And as you continue each day, to challenge yourself to be compassionate and mindful of each body part. So, that's self-compassion.

Caitlin Whyte: That was such a beautiful moment to just pause and reset. Thank you both so much for sharing these tips. I know I'll be implementing them probably daily. And be sure to check out part one of this conversation on stress at ProMedica,org. And thank you for listening. Until next time, stay happily ever after 40.