Liz Unruh (Host): Hello, listeners, and thanks for tuning in to the Well Within Reach podcast brought to you by Riverside HealthCare. I'm your host, Liz Unruh, and joining me today is Lisa Barnes, who's an outpatient clinician at the Riverside Pathways Program.  

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Host: And we're back. So, Lisa, thanks for joining us today.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Thank you. Good morning. Thank you for having me.

Host: Yeah, we're so happy you are joining us. So, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and your background here at Riverside?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Absolutely. I've lived in Kankakee my entire life. I'm a mother of two beautiful daughters and the Mimi to seven wonderful grandchildren. Yes, I am a bit biased. I also have four amazing bonus grandchildren. I am a licensed social worker and also have my CADC certification. I started my career at Riverside Resolve Center in 2015. Once the Resolve Center closed, I transitioned to behavioral health as the case manager on the senior behavioral health unit. From there, I accepted a position as a medical social worker, and then last October, I returned to behavioral health, and now I'm a full time clinician at Riverside Pathways.

Host: Oh, that's very exciting. So, you've experienced a lot of the different behavioral health areas that we have had here at Riverside over the years.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Absolutely.

Host: Yeah. So, today we're going to be talking about building a support network. Just starting off, what is a support network? Who might make up someone's support network?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: In essence, a support system is a network of people who provide emotional or practical support to others. I mean, support systems can include family, friends, teachers, coaches, neighbors, colleagues, church members, faith leaders, health care professionals, online support groups, local support groups. It can include anyone you respect and trust to share your story.

Host: Yeah, so I think that's always good to remember. It's not just those who are closest to us, it's those people that are there to support us through all of our different ups and downs during the day, even.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Absolutely.

Host: So, can you explain why having a strong support network is essential for mental health, especially during, like I mentioned, those times where it might be difficult or you might not be feeling your best?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Recovery of any kind is a journey, and with the help of a support system, it makes that recovery even more possible. So in respect to mental wellness, having a strong support circle is critical for a myriad of reasons. Having a support system can help reduce feelings of loneliness and isolation. It can help reduce the intensity of anxiety and depression and help manage challenging situations to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Having a support system can allow people to feel supported and heard.

Host: Yeah, I think that's important, having people that are willing to listen when sometimes you just want to vent or get something off your chest and it's kind of that judgmental free zone that they're like, yes, I will just listen to whatever you need to say. So if someone doesn't have a support network and they're looking to build one or start building one, how do you identify the right people? And like, are there certain qualities you should look for? Or like, what are some practical steps they should take?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: For some, it can be a bit intimidating to ask for help. Let's face it, being vulnerable is pretty scary. So an important piece to remember, it's okay not to be okay sometimes, and everyone needs help, and it's always okay to ask for help. Sadly, one of the roadblocks to asking for help is the fear of being judged or misunderstood. So that's why it's so incredibly important to identify the right people to be a part of our support network. Sometimes it may simply be about preference or the intent to surround yourself with individuals who may have similar experiences and or backgrounds.

I think it's a good idea to start with family or close friends. Think of someone who you respect. Perhaps consider someone who you believe will respect your privacy. Maybe someone you feel will listen and afford you the time and space to express your feelings and validate your feelings and experiences without feeling judged or criticized.

Supporters should be compassionate, yet encourage you to make healthy decisions and assist with initiating necessary changes. I think it's important to understand that everyone's support system will be different. It's unique in its own way, because there's certainly no one size fits all. And it takes time, it takes patience, to build a strong support system.

And there may be some people we choose that may not be a good fit for the part, whether it's a time barrier or a lack of skills. The real key is, that it's up to us to educate those in our support circle about our emotional and mental health, explain what to look for in regards to understanding and identifying those warning signs and symptoms, so they know how to support us, or so they know how to show up and support us.

Host: Yeah, I think that's important talking to people so they're not showing up and trying to support you in a way that might not be supportive to you, because, like you said, not everyone's the same. Everyone's support network looks different. How people want to be supported is different.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: If they don't know, they don't know.

Host: Exactly. Yeah. It's always good to talk to people. So that kind of leads into the next thought I have. Are there like certain ways that someone could strengthen existing relationships maybe with those family or close friends, to better support their mental health needs?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Absolutely. I think effective communication is a vital component to not only maintain but to strengthen any relationship. Maintaining contact with members of our support system and our support networks are very important. Keeping them updated in regards to our mental health status. Allowing time for questions to help them understand and experience whether it's good or bad. Be open to suggestions and constructive criticism to help promote our personal growth. Be willing to communicate our wants and needs and continue to nurture those relationships and make conscious efforts to spend time with those in your support circle would be helpful.

Host: Yeah, I definitely think those are a lot of really great tips. And now we're going to take a quick break to talk about finding a primary care provider.

Riverside knows that health, especially your mental health, is your greatest asset and that your primary care provider is your partner in health. If you're starting out on your mental health journey, a great first step would be talking to your primary care provider. If you don't have a primary care provider, Riverside can help. Find a primary care provider that fits your needs at riversidehealthcare.org/primarycare.

 And we're back. We've talked a lot about like building a support network and like some things we can do to strengthen relationships. And one of the things we talked about was communicating because if they don't know, they don't know. So what role does communication play in maintaining that strong support network and how someone can effectively communicate their needs?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Well, communication will always play a pivotal role in every aspect of our lives. The way we communicate influences how we interact, how we understand one another, and how we support one another. So strong communication builds strong relationships. Communication is essential in order to build trust and understanding, so we can actually provide the support that we need. And through communication, it's important to establish clear expectations, clear boundaries. Active listening is, as we all know, a huge piece of healthy communication, on both sides. Communicate openly to develop a sense of trust, so you feel comfortable with continuing that conversation. Be willing to take a collaborative approach when problem solving. Effective communication can bridge gaps between misunderstandings, perspectives, and different life experiences. But overall, strong communication helps build connections, so our support network can continue to offer support, especially during challenging situations.

I think communication helps enable people to express their needs, and it also offers a sense of empowerment to develop better coping skills, relationships, and achieve a higher level of independence.

Host: Yeah, for sure. I think those are a lot of really great points on why communication plays a really important role. As people are looking at their life, circumstances change, are there some tips that you can give people to maintain your support networks as those changes come and how life, you know, keeps rolling at you? So you got to roll with some changes.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Absolutely, because life is going to keep lifin right?

Host: Yes.

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: It's going to show up whether we like it or not, it's unpredictable, it can be chaotic, but a few suggestions to help maintain support networks are to take care of those relationships, nurture them, continue to surround yourself with people who want to share in your joy and success. I like to avoid negativity, right?

So I will pass that along. Continue to reach out and keep your supporters involved and informed. When life circumstances change, one may need to consider seeking out new people to extend or rebuild their support network. Maybe that would be through trying new activities or going new places or exploring new interests to meet new people.

Host: Yeah, I think that's true. You know, people move for jobs and you might not have those same neighbors and friends that you had. So, you definitely have to work at rebuilding or keep that support network there by going out and meeting new people. Sometimes, we might still feel isolated or disconnected even when we have those support people and that network built around us. What advice would you give someone who might be feeling that isolation or disconnectedness from the people that are there to support them?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: Unfortunately, isolation is a common symptom for many with mental health concerns. So I would encourage individuals to continue to reach out to their support network. Again, continue to build and maintain those connections, prioritize time with family and loved ones. Be open about our thoughts and our feelings. Again, perhaps explore new hobbies to meet new people with similar interests. I think it's really easy to assume others know what we need, but that's not always the case.

So again, it's important to be really open and honest and communicate your needs so that the people that we rely on, know how to show up for us, know how to be present and help us in our time of need.

Host: Yeah, I think that's a very important thing to remember, especially if you're feeling those isolation feelings or that disconnectivity from different people. Just remember they're there when you need them. Well, thank you, Lisa. Is there anything else that you would like to add?

Lisa Barnes, MSW, LSW, CADC: I think the important piece in regards to our support systems is that we shouldn't expect them to know, and so it's really up to us to use our voice to help them understand so they know how to show up, so they know how to be there for us. Having assumptions that they know what to look for, won't necessarily be effective, but keeping them in the loop and making them be a part of your journey, may contribute to the success of it.

Host: Yeah, for sure. I think that's some great advice and kind of helps to wrap up all the thoughts that we had here today.

So thank you listeners for tuning into the Well Within Reach podcast with Lisa Barnes with Riverside Behavioral Medicine and your host Liz Unruh. To learn more about the services provided by Riverside's Behavioral Medicine Department, visit our website at riversidehealthcare.org or call our Central Intake Department at 844-442-2551.