Liz Unruh (Host): Hello listeners, and thanks for tuning into the Well Within Reach podcast brought to you by Riverside Healthcare. I'm your host, Liz Unruh, and joining me today is Marla Barnard, who is a school liaison at Riverside Behavioral Health. Thanks for joining us today.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: My pleasure. Thanks for asking me.

Liz Unruh (Host): Before we jump into our topic, we're going to take a quick break to hear about MyChart.

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Host: So Marla, can you tell us about yourself?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well, as you mentioned, I am the behavioral health school liaison, which means schools contract with Riverside, and they send a licensed therapist to schools. So I go to schools and I counsel kids on an individual basis or in a group setting in the schools.

Host: Great. You've been a previous guest on our podcast talking all about your role as a school liaison, so, definitely check that out if you haven't already listened to that.

But today we're going to be talking about helping kids thrive during the transition to summer. So, summer is quickly approaching for us here. But let's start with the basics. Why can this transition from school to summer be tough for some kids, even though we look at it like, oh, they're going to have a break.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Sometimes it's difficult because kids get out of their routine. As we know, kids do well when they're organized, when there's a routine and that all gets changed. And so, sometimes with so much freedom, we kind of don't know what to do with ourselves, and so it can be a challenge.

Host: Yeah, for sure. I know, structure is a really big part of school. You know that this comes and then lunch is at this time and you go to PE and gym on these days. Are there ways that families can create a lighter version of that schedule to make more of a routine during the summer?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well, you mentioned structure, which is key. Because structure provides a safe place. And structure is predictable. So, parents and kids in essence have to learn a new routine. Real simple things like just get the kids involved, help them make a list of things that could be done, change up the household jobs that need to be done. Routine could be, just when we get up, make our beds, brush our teeth, and then change and share who does what. And again, get the kids involved, help them create the list, and then it also helps teach responsibility. So if kids are left on to their own devices, they might flounder a little. So with direction, structure, that gives them guidance too.

Host: Yeah. I think that's really important. So other than the household duties, are there other things that parents can do to encourage their kids to do these tasks without it feeling like homework that they have to do or something that's always has to be done?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well, I think parents can model that. Like if it's presented like it's a big chore, it will be received that way. And then nobody wants to do anything. So if it just can be kind of a lighthearted part of the day, it's kind of like, first we do this, then we do this or then we do that. And if we get these things out of the way, which becomes routine. Kids are used to a routine.

At eight o'clock we sit on the carpet and we read a book. At nine o'clock, we, whatever they do. And so parents are in essence becoming the teachers and just a variety of activities and then again, how it's presented. So, and then once that's done, everybody's freed up to go do the fun stuff.

Host: Yeah. Like

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Go outside, go walk around the block. And maybe that's part of the routine. We just have to get outside for 10 minutes, we walk around the block or somebody go get the mail or anything that can be perceived as an activity, because we don't have to do math and the spelling and all that, but we do, it's helpful to do this and kids respond well with positive direction and guidance. They want to be helpful. And one of the biggest challenges, and this might come up later, unplug. Social media is a nightmare.

Host: Social media can be like drowning. There's a lot of stuff in there, but summer can also be socially isolating for some kids. What are a few ways that families can make sure that kids are maintaining their friendships or building social connections during this time?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: There's a lot that people can do. When we unplug, I think that parents can model that. We can have a free zone from electronics, and that could be a time period, that could be a room in the house. It's really important to eat a meal together. And, going back to the first question of responsibilities maybe somebody, they can help cook, they can help prepare the meal, they can help measure how much butter and that keeps the math skills fresh. Sit down and eat together. And then there are lots of activities from the park district that people can engage in and do. Things that don't cost money. The various festivals in our community, farmer's market, even libraries offer programs. And so there's a lot to do, but that can go into the original restructuring the day, we do this in the morning at home, we tend to home, and then at 10 o'clock or 11 o'clock, we go to the library, or we're going to this festival, or we're going to the swimming pool or the outside activity. And to maintain the social aspect of it, invite a friend. To be social, you have to get out and be with people. And it's really familiar sometimes for kids to just isolate in their rooms.

And I would put a moratorium on bedroom time. You gotta be out and socializing and be with the family. Because summer can be like the best time ever. But that comes with some effort and some structuring, then it becomes easy.

Host: Yes. I always see the different libraries around here posting story times and come meet the animals and those types of things. And those events are all, usually free and no registration required. So that's definitely something good to work in.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: And even local churches, some of the larger churches, they have a lot of activities for kids. So, if you're going to be on social media, use it to help and look up some of these activities because they're out there.

Host: Going to those activities is great, but just the change from going to school and knowing exactly what's going to happen and then transitioning to be at home, that change can bring in anxiety, especially in those kids who might thrive on predictability. What are some signs of summer related anxiety that caregivers should kind of watch for?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well, kids will sometimes isolate and withdraw. They'll avoid certain things. Avoidance plays into the increased anxiety, acting out and frustration, arguing, argumentative with siblings, resisting. And then the, the physical symptoms. I can't go, I can't do that because I have a stomach ache and my head hurts or my back hurts. So just a variety of aches and pains that they believe to be real. So with encouragement, start small. You know, I get that you have a headache and you don't feel well, but sometimes it's not a law, a requirement that we have to feel good in order to do something. Obviously if we have a high fever and we're vomiting, then maybe we get a pass to stay home. But we can navigate a stomach ache. But that takes guidance and that's a great question. What are things that caregivers can look for?

 And those are some things because they know their children better than anyone. And so we don't want them to compare their child to anyone else. We only want them to compare that child to that child. And so if they notice a difference, then pay attention to that.

Host: Yeah. I think that's important. You know your child best, so you're going to know and kind of see things change and that's what you should be looking for, if something changes.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Crying easier. Agitated quickly. Really frustrated. And if the caregiver is seeing a change, like, hmm, my child's not usually like that, or something must be going on. Ask, you know?

Host: Yeah. That's a great place to start. Just ask them if you can help them. For sure.

 And now for a quick break to hear about primary care.

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And we're back. So we talked about, maybe anger being one of the symptoms or like frustration of something that

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Resistance.

Host: Yes. Some of those things.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: I can't, no, I can't do that.

Host: So what are some like calming or grounding techniques that could be especially effective if those types of feelings come up or even those anxiety feelings?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well, I think it's helpful for a caregiver to ask, what do you need? Sometimes they don't know what they need because they don't always have the simple words, so then we have to translate for them.

And breathing techniques always work. Paying attention to the five senses. I often suggest that if a child is feeling bad, and I say this to kids that I work with, if you're really finding yourself getting angry and you're sitting in your bedroom, or you're getting frustrated and sad, then get out of your bedroom, change your environment.

Oftentimes something so simple as just going into another room or stepping outside changes our perspective. And so a caregiver, can say, come outside with me. Now it's key to get this before the child is completely dysregulated and emotions are too high and for anybody. So if we can kind of pay attention to all the warning signs or the clues and the hints, but even just to go outside and just to, we call it the five senses.

Name, five things that you can see. Four things that you hear. Oh, I hear a bird, I hear a dog barking. And I hear a car going by. Just shifts the focus. What are three things you can smell? What, what can you touch, what anything in any order. And so the five senses, breathing, counting, and communicating.

So those are some simple, doable things within the moment to kind of help reground and get reconnected. Oftentimes kids need help seeing a situation differently, and that's where the caregiver comes in to ask questions and with guidance to, do I have to be mad at my brother who ruined my Lego set? Do I have to hit him? Well, he might think he does, but or she and they don't. So if, the caregiver can just offer a different perspective from that.

Host: Yeah, for sure. Something that you said really struck me. The taking a kid outside. Right now all over my For You Page on social media, you know, is you take your toddler outside and it's the equivalent of turning it off and turning it back on. Like it's just a different

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Absolutely.

Host: Different perspective. You're in a new place, you feel something else.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Exactly. But people just stay stuck. Within families, as we all know, it's kind of like the same argument. It's the same solution, it's the same reaction, and then we wonder why we don't have a different outcome. So it takes one person doing something different. And I didn't make that up. But it's true.

Host: Yeah, for sure. So I know speaking of families, families might take the summer to kind of recharge and reconnect with each other because it's slower, there's less going on usually. Do you have like a few suggestions of some simple ways that families can build closeness without overcomplicating?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: I think kindness is key. I understand that adults get frustrated and I understand that they get angry. But I'm so struck and perplexed by, you know, and the interesting thing is no one loves these kids more than their caregivers. But sometimes that love gets lost. And I get the frustration, but I sometimes ask parents, caregivers, if you're having a conflict, and if you talk to a coworker or your boss the way that you talk to your child, what would the outcome be? Now, you know, they all know the answer to that.

 Be written up, go to HR, probably wouldn't have a job. And so equal to that, I say to kids, Hmm, if you talk to your friends, the way you talk to your grandparents or your caregivers or your parents, how would that work out for you? And they consistently say, I wouldn't have any friends.

 So everybody knows that. So it's just so striking to me that the people we love the most, we tend to beat on the most. So I just like to create an awareness that these are the people that you love more than anybody. And don't we love spending time with the people that we love more than anybody.

And how wonderful if, if it's within a family to just be together and be kind.

Host: Yeah, I think that's really, really the big thing. It's as simple as that, being kind to each other.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: That's a tough one sometimes.

Host: Yeah. It is.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: It's not, but it, it is. It can be that simple. If we let it. Because the summer can absolutely be the best time. And it can be a blast when we're all getting along and we're all respecting each other. And it's almost like summer camp. And I spent a lot of times working in a summer camp and it was a blast. So the caregivers are like the camp counselors?

 And so wherever you live, Main Street, USA Camp Pipe Street, Camp First Street. And just create that environment. And, and I tell you, as the caregiver goes, so does the child. And they will follow the lead and it's okay for a caregiver to say, you know what? I need a timeout. But we're going to be back in five minutes and we're going to do something. Something different. So it just can be just a really good time.

Host: Yeah, so one of the things that you touched on earlier is adding butter to a recipe is simple math. So there's that time where they say like the academic slide, you forget things that you learned. Are there ways that families can keep kids learning like that math?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Well I'll tell you what kids really love is story time. And so, and it can be just done so differently. You know, we talked about routine, structure at the start of the day. But let's carry that routine and structure towards the end of the day. We know what we're doing. At eight o'clock, we're doing this, and 11 o'clock we're going outside into the park and doing a festival. And then it's evening time we're going to work together to make the meal and we're going to sit down together with the meal, eat the meal together with no electronic devices, and then bedtime can be the most peaceful routine of all.

 First you brush your teeth, then we're going to sit down and continue to read our book. And make it a chapter book. Like every night they get a chapter. Be the reader. Or The child take turn reading.

So the bedtime routine can be every bit as great as the early routine. So, and that keeps up with the reading skills to answer your question.

Host: Yeah. So my last question today is, I know this can be a stressful time for caregivers to make sure that they're doing summer right. What is your best words of encouragement that you could tell them?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Okay, so my first question is, are you dreading the summer or are you really looking forward to the summer? Because I tell you what, if you're dreading the summer, guess what's going to happen?

Host: Yeah. It's all in your attitude, right?

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: Right. And if you say, oh my gosh, 12 days left to school, can't wait till we're all together and we're doing our new routine, it's going to be an amazing summer. So perspective has to do with everything, because I tell you what, no matter what time of year it is or what's going on, we still have to get up, we still have to make the beds. We still have to live in harmony. We still have to work together, we have to do all of those things. That won't change, but the one thing that changes, that is how we see it.

 And here again, am I dreading the summer or am I kinda looking forward to it? We get to hang, we get to spend time together. And so perspective, how am I going in? Because I'll tell you what. Whatever you think, it will probably be that. And we know there are challenges and we know that life happens.

 But are we equipped to navigate that? I say, yes, we are.

Host: Yeah. And keeping that positive attitude going into the summer is what's going to make your summer, start off on the right foot. For sure.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: I think so. And be grateful for every day. Time is a gift. And what a gift that caregivers and parents have with their children now. If we see it as a gift, I will receive it as a gift and it can just be amazing. And here again, we know there are bumps in the road. But let us just treasure the time that we have now and see it as a gift.

I would like to say one more thing, though. I know that attitude is great and all that, and I really believe that. But I also know that some kids, they really, really struggle and caregivers, they struggle as well, and they try everything, and we talked about festivals and going to the park and all the things that we can do. But through Riverside, we do have an outpatient program, that really can help families and their kids regulate with some of these things that are beyond their scope and that is always an option. The outpatient Pathways program.

 All they have to do is just call Pathways, talk to our director, Rachel Legess and we can help. So no one has to do this alone. We're all in this together.

Host: Yeah. I think that's really, great advice and definitely, they can call either the central intake number or the pathways phone number and get that information that they need.

Marla Barnard, LCPC, MA.Ed: And do it sooner rather than later. Just to be proactive, in that when there is a need. Because I think caregivers, parents know, I need help with this. And there is help.

Host: Yes. That is really great advice. Well, thank you listeners for tuning into the Well Within Reach podcast with Marla Barnard with the Riverside Behavioral Health and your host Liz Unruh. To learn more about the services provided by Riverside Behavioral Health Department, visit our website at riversidehealthcare.org or call our central intake department at 844-442-2551.