Ahsan Basha, MD (Host): Hi, this is Dr. Ahsan Basha, welcoming you back to our podcast The C Word, Community, Not Cancer. Today we have Mr. John Leonard with us.

John Leonard (Guest): How's everybody doing?

Host: It's nice to see you. Mr. Leonard has a great story to tell, hopefully. Um, well, we know he has a great story because he's here and he's smiling and he looks great.

John Leonard (Guest): Feel great.

Host: So, Mr. Leonard was diagnosed just about a year ago now.

John Leonard (Guest): It's close to a year, yeah.

Host: Yeah, almost there. So, he was diagnosed with stage four metastatic colon cancer. And so we're going to go through his story and say what his experience was dealing with the diagnosis, with the treatment that he's gone through, what he looks for, for support, and what he's kind of looking forward to, on out.

John Leonard (Guest): Thank you, doctor, for having me.

Ahsan Basha, MD (Host): Thank you. Welcome.

John Leonard (Guest): Yeah, it all started, I had an appendix thing go on and, I had to go to the hospital to relieve the appendix problem that I had and the surgeon there that, worked on me, he had noticed something in my lung through the CAT scan. And he said, John, you need to look at this.

He goes, I believe that this problem that you had with your appendix has something to do with cancer. He goes, I know what I've seen. And he was a very experienced surgeon. And he said, you need to get this looked at. And fear told me, don't look there. And so I hesitated, and the surgeon called me back.

He said, did you go to see and get this taken care of? And I said, No, I haven't. And that took about a month for me to finally, I dodged it. You know, I came up with every excuse imaginary to not go and get this fixed because fear had me. It had me gripped. And I was mostly paralyzed by fear. So finally, he said, I've got a doctor, give him a call.

And, it led me to Riverside getting a primary care doctor first. And she said, I've got the perfect person for you, Dr. Hamden. And he's in Bourbonnais. And I said, okay. We took a CAT scan and a PET scan. The doctor really didn't give me the diagnosis. He said, okay, this is what we're going to do.

Cause he didn't want to scare me. And so, he's like, this is what I want to do. I want to do these stages of chemotherapy. And, we're going to do this. And I said, okay, fine. And, I did a couple stages. And everything was fine. The staff here was incredible. They made me comfortable. John, do you need a warm towel? Do you need something to eat? When I came in here, I just felt comfortable. I met Denise, who's the chaplain here. And, every time I seen her, we gravitated towards each other. I had been dealing with another disease in my life that brought me to spirituality and so me and Denise clicked very well.

It wasn't until a friend of mine came with me to a doctor visit with Dr. Hamden and she started asking a lot of questions that I didn't want to know the answer to. And that's when I found out that, I had stage four cancer.

Host: Okay so it took a while.

John Leonard (Guest): It took a while, it took a few treatments to finally realize how much the cancer had consumed in me. And looking back, at that doctor visit, I was not scared. I had dealt with alcoholism in my life for quite a long time, and I've been sober for seven plus years, so I've learned spirituality through that. So I brought that spirituality with me into this cancer problem. And I look back at it now, like I said, and I think to myself, why weren't you scared, John?

I seen the people around me that loved me, they were terrified. And I'm thinking to myself, well, what are you so scared about. So I look back and I wonder to myself sometimes, why weren't I scared? And I believe it's just because the trust I have in my higher power.

I really trusted him that, you know what, I'm gonna give all of my problems and my fear to him and I'm just gonna go out and help his kids the best I know how to. I do that through my umpiring. I'm an umpire, so I do a lot of that giving back to the community. That's why I was so interested in this podcast was because I have a good ending story, I am cancer free.

I was cancer free in six months of therapy. He cut me off of the extreme chemotherapy, you know, that drug doctor. I don't remember the specific name of it. But after six months, he's like, John, I don't want to kill your nerves anymore, because of the neuropathy started to come into effect. And he said, John, we're gonna take that off and we're gonna still give you a little bit of chemo, but not the extreme.

And so that's exactly how it worked out, I've been cancer free for four or five months. And just an amazing group of people that they have here at Riverside. It's just an amazing group. They really care about treating you. I've been at hospitals before, other hospitals, and I know the difference.

I looked forward to my treatments. I looked forward to coming and seeing these people. Because they gave me all the prescriptions I needed, if I got sick, they gave me a prescription for everything. I never got sick. I never had really any side effects, other than the drowsiness, of course, because, well, then I just took a nap. You know, I listened to my body, and I started taking naps in the afternoon. And that was fine with me.

Host: That's a great part of the story. What I'd like to do actually is go back a little bit though. Okay. Again, you've had the alcoholism and the spiritual power and that's helped you through the fear recently. But tell me about the fear you had when that surgeon told you something's wrong and you were avoiding it for a month.

John Leonard (Guest): Okay, that was a little scary. Yes, that was a little scary. Yes, I avoided it. My fear had me in its grips and I did not have the power, the willpower, my own power, my own strength. I could not get myself up enough strength and courage.

Host: What were you feeling inside? Like, what was it like being at home thinking something's wrong?

John Leonard (Guest): Thinking something's wrong. Yes, the fear of the unknown, it was the unknown that I was scared about. It really wasn't particularly the cancer that I was scared about. It was more of, oh my gosh, what's going to happen how bad am I? And I didn't want to know how bad I was, but I'm so glad that surgeon really cared about my health. And he said, John, have you taken care of this yet? And of course I had, I didn't want to lie to him, of course, because of my spiritual program. So I had to tell him the truth and he just looked at me, you know, he said, why, John, you know what? He took control. He said, here is a phone number. I want you to call. And so I said, okay, yes, I will. And then I just took the steps and I think my spirituality gave me the strength. I think God took me in his hands and he just, he directed me. He gave me the courage to look into it further. Really it was all about getting rid of the fear of it.

Host: And so, Dr. Hamden's is a great guy. And so, I'm glad that he acknowledged your fear without so, not giving you too many details in the beginning. So, that helped you.

John Leonard (Guest): Oh huge. Yes, yes.

Host: To not kind of be overwhelmed.

John Leonard (Guest): Yeah, absolutely. And he was calm. He didn't look scared. His composure was gentle. As soon as he found out a little bit about my background, he took that spirituality and he used it, and so Dr. Hamden, he really knows how to say the right things, and act the right way, so he really took a lot of fear away from me and he was very upfront. If I had a question, he didn't dodge anything. He was truthful to the point. He said, John, yes, you have stage four cancer. And if you don't treat this, I'll give you six months to live. And he wasn't bashful about it. He told me straight up. And so I knew I was dealing with somebody I could trust.

Host: So when he said that thing about six months, how did that hit you?

John Leonard (Guest): I look back at it and the people around me were more scared than I was. Honest to God. My mom was scared. My friends were crying. You're my best friend. Where are you? You know, I don't want to lose you all that. And I was just thinking to myself, everything is going to be okay. I'm under some really great people here. I really trusted the people here at Riverside.

All that fear was gone. I really didn't have the fear. I looked forward to coming to treatments. I mean, that's, it still boggles my mind when I say that, how could you look forward to getting treatments of the chemotherapy? But I really did. I looked forward to coming to see these people and I looked forward to getting healthier, it's been a great, experience.

Host: So, outside the doctors here, who is your community?

John Leonard (Guest): My community is my AA group. That is my family. They keep me spiritually fit. They let me know when I get off track. So I go to meetings every day. I think, by this podcast too, it's kind of the same thing as AA. We all stay together, we're all a family, we all have the fears, I'm not fearless, of course, I do have a little bit of fear, I mean, there was a little bit of fear there, I have to admit it. But as long as we stick together and help each other out, I leave the results to my higher power, to God, I leave my results to Him, and I just try to do His work, and I just try to help and give back to the world, because He's given me a lot. He's given me my health. I just had to get over that fear. Like you keep nudging at me a little bit about talk about that fear, John. And yes, there was a little bit of fear there. Especially when that surgeon told me, John, I know that's cancer and you better get yourself checked out.

And yes, I was scared. I have to admit that, but, once I got over that fear and I knew what was in front of me, everything was okay, it was getting past that fear, and that was a hurdle. I had to reach deep down inside of me and rely on my trust in God. I had to rely on something other than myself to get me out of myself, to get me out of that fear.

And once I knew what was in front of me, because of that fear of the unknown, kept me from looking what was in front of me. And once I found out what was in front of me, I knew that everything was going to be okay. Whatever it is, everything was going to be okay. And boy, the people here at Riverside sure took me under their arms. You doctors, you were involved, cause all you guys talk, there's talk about all the patients, you guys get together and you really cared about me and it really showed and I felt so comfortable and so there weren't my fear.

Host: I'm glad to hear that. And you know, I want to say that, as a doctor, you know, just as a human being, I look at you guys with the cancer diagnosis and how you take it in. And I am truly always amazed by how you guys have the courage to do what you do, to make yourself come in and do it. Because it's hard. I know that. And now you're going to deal, you know, you're going to deal with side effects and things like that. But you have the courage to do it.

John Leonard (Guest): I know where the courage came from, because of my spirituality. I know where it came from, that courage. But yeah, it was a scary thing at first. Once I knew the plan of recovery and what steps to take, I'm like, yes, I can do this. I can do this.

Host: It's kind of like the steps in the AA right?

John Leonard (Guest): Just like the steps. Yeah. I could do this. It's just one step to the next step, and if I take each one individually, I'll be okay. And you guys made me feel like I was gonna be okay. And I trusted you.

Host: Sure, so now let's take you back up, you've gone through all the treatments, you've managed all the side effects, and you sound like you did very well overall. So when Dr. Hamden said, John, looks like this thing is gone, or we put it into remission. Tell me what that was like, that day.

John Leonard (Guest): I wanted to tell the world. I floated home. I really did. I felt like I was on cloud nine. The funny part about that is, is when I found out that I no longer had any cancer in me, I got to my vehicle outside this cancer institute and I got a phone call saying that Riverside is going to pick up all of your medical expenses from here on out.

And so I went from inside here being said that I was cancer free to going into 30 minutes later saying that we've got all of your medical. You talk about being on a cloud nine. I was just, I wanted to tell, I raced home. I probably broke the speed limit. I raced home to tell everybody I could, the good news, because I knew they were scared.

They were more scared than I was, to be honest with you. Now it's just, prevention and that's what we're doing is we're going to prevent it. And cancer research has come a long way. Used to be 10, 15 years ago, you're cancer free, see you later, have a good life. It's not like that anymore.

We're gonna make sure you stay cancer free. And so the medication that they have, I take the pills at home, the chemo pills at home. I come and get an infusion for 30 minutes every 3 weeks. And I'm fine. I feel like I'm 18 years old again, you know, my body don't feel like it after I umpire a game, you know, five, six games a weekend, but, yes, age is a little big, whatever.

But, I tell you what, I'm more spiritually fit and I feel mentally, like I was 18 years old again. And, I can't wait to wake up in the mornings. Before I was scared to face the day. I'm not scared anymore. I got through it. And I just did what you guys told me to do.

You took the steering wheel and you were the ones that were in charge. And you showed me that I could trust you guys. And I did, I said, just tell me what to do and I'll do it. And so that's what I've been doing.

And, I'm just happy, joyous, and free. I just feel free to be able to do what I was sent on this earth to do, and that's to help his children, I believe.

Host: So that's also your future you're looking into.

John Leonard (Guest): Absolutely. I do a lot of speeches. I tell my story, just like I'm doing here today in that program. I usually do at least one or two a month. So it's giving back to the world instead of what can I get out of the world to what can I give to the world. This cancer thing, it was just another challenge in my life, that's what I felt like. It was just an, okay, John, you're going to be challenged with this and we're going to get through it.

And, I gave my fear to the higher power and I just kept on, the beam, the spiritual beam, I like to call it. I just kept on the beam and the people around here helped me keep on it. Cause they could see if I was fearful. So they would come and talk to me and they would say, John, do you need to talk to me?

And, the staff here is absolutely amazing. They kept me on that spiritual beam and I needed to be there. I didn't need the stress because you know what stress can do to you. It can really cause a lot of damage physically. And so when I was able to arrest that stress and, this Riverside community is just amazing. I send everybody here. Anybody that has a cancer problem, go to talk to Dr. Hamden.

Host: Just so our listeners know, this is not meant as an advertisement, but I appreciate everything you say about our community. Because it is community is what we're trying to produce here. So before we finish off, if you could give advice to people who are just finding out they have cancer, what would that be?

John Leonard (Guest): Trust the doctors. doctors. Just do what they tell you to do. This cancer can be arrested. This cancer research has come a long way and you can beat this. You don't have to do it on your own. You're not alone. This is a community, like you said. This is not a battle that you have to do alone.

It's going to take a courage. Yes. I'm not going to say it's not, but the more you rely on other people, the more you don't have to just rely on your own will and your own power. And it's a battle now that I have something to give back. Like this podcast, it just gave me another reason and another tool to help God's kids.

I really believe that He gave me this just to help His kids. You know what John, Here's gonna I'm gonna give you a little bit of a battle here. He was with me the whole way and, spirituality was a big part, like I said before, but you can do this.

If anybody's listening, you can do this. You don't have to do it alone. You're not alone here. Just face your battles. Yeah,

Host: I do appreciate you saying all that and giving the advice to people who are coming after you. And I appreciate the time you took to come in here.

John Leonard (Guest): You're welcome. It's been my pleasure.

Host: We really appreciate it. Again, I'd just like to thank everyone for listening to the C Word, Community, not Cancer.

This podcast is something we hope helps everybody kind of deal with their stories. Thank you very much.