Intro: Welcome to Conversations on Cancer, brought to you by the Riverside Cancer Institute, providing answers, debunking myths, and sharing patient stories.

Dr. Ahsan Basha (Host): Hi. This is Dr. Ahsan Basha. Welcome back to our podcast, The “C” Word, Community Not Cancer. Today, we actually have two guests with us today, Mr. And Mrs. O'Farrell. Ms. O'Farrell has been gracious enough to talk about her cancer journey, which actually involved multiple stops, and we'll talk her way through that. And Mr. O'Farrell is her major support. And so, he's agreed to be part of the podcast as well. And he's got his own story as well. So, welcome to both of you.

Kim O'Farrell: Thank you very much, Doctor.

Michael O'Farrell: Hi there. Thank you. Happy to be here.

Host: So, Ms. O'Farrell is currently being cared for-- actually, both are being cared for by my partner, Dr. Lacher. And Ms. O'Farrell is currently under treatment, I believe, on maintenance right now for lung cancer. But this is not your first journey with cancer.

Kim O'Farrell: No, sir. It's not. I started younger with cancer, bladder cancer in 1997. That was very difficult. The first-time you hear that word, it's startling. And it makes you think of your own mortality, and it brings you down a little bit. You got to find that way to get up. Because if you're not in a positive place, I don't believe you can handle this journey. It's a very tough thing.

And cancer is a very lonely thing, and you don't want to be lonely through it. You just don't. And I'm very lucky to have my husband with me. And he is struggling with cancer also. So, you know, we both find support in each other, and it's been easier to handle, I have to say.

Host: So pretty briefly, you had the bladder cancer back then. And about how long did that "journey"/experience last?

Kim O'Farrell: That journey was short lived. They were able to cut out all the cancer and remove it, which was wonderful. And, unfortunately, I did not followup with my regular checkups like they tell you to. And that's when my other-- colon.

Host: So, the next cancer that I saw that you had was endometrial cancer, correct?

Kim O'Farrell: Correct.

Host: Okay. How long after that bladder cancer did that show up?

Kim O'Farrell: That was probably seven years.

Host: So, almost seven years. You thought you're done with everything.

Kim O'Farrell: I thought I was all done.

Host: Stopped seeing your doctors and all that.

Kim O'Farrell: And I thought I had a bleeding ulcer, because I was vomiting blood and I wasn't feeling good. And one night, Mike and I weren't married at that time, and he took me to the hospital. And they kept me and they did an ultrasound and they found the bladder cancer.

Host: Then, the endometrial cancer, right?

Kim O'Farrell: Correct.

Host: Okay. So, you dealt the endometrial cancer with surgery again. Correct?

Kim O'Farrell: Surgery again, yes.

Host: Did you have to do anything afterwards like chemotherapy or radiation?

Kim O'Farrell: I wasn't responding very well. They also took out my bladder. They took a few things. I was put in a nursing home for while.

Michael O'Farrell: I think it was your gallbladder.

Kim O'Farrell: My gallbladder. That's right. And then, they put me in a nursing home for some time. So, that was a difficult comeback.

Host: It was a difficult thing. Yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah, yeah, it was.

Host: Yeah. And then?

Kim O'Farrell: And then, bam. Here I am. Back with cancer again.

Host: So when you get hit with this diagnosis, like how many years in between was that?

Kim O'Farrell: Now, that was 2014.

Host: Okay.

Kim O'Farrell: And so, here we are.

Host: And then, this cancer, you were diagnosed--

Kim O'Farrell: In '24.

Host: So, 10 years almost.

Kim O'Farrell: And my sister was with me at that time, and my husband. And we came to see Dr. Lacher, and I walked in the room. And outside her room is this little C and it says, "C is for cure." And I kind of jokingly said to my sister, "See, I may not have cancer. You know, C is for cure too." And we found out it was cancer. My sister stayed and took care of me for two months. And then, she went home and she got the diagnosis that she also had the same type cancer as myself, and she passed three weeks later. It was very difficult to have my sister so close to me, and then have her, you know, gone.

Host: Yeah, yeah. I'm really sorry. I didn't know about that.

Kim O'Farrell: And to have the same cancer as me, that made me a little alarmed, you know? But she did have a tumor. And it got into her lung. And then, that was it. They couldn't do any more for her.

Host: Well, again, I'm sorry to hear about your sister. I didn't about that.

Kim O'Farrell: Thank you. Thank you. It was a tough loss, but God works mysterious ways.

Host: Yeah. So, it's hard to do it, I know, to not think about her. But when you got the word that you had C word, the cancer-- of course, we use C word, community, and Dr. Lacher had C word cure. But when you're given that diagnosis again, 10 years later again, with cancer, what was going--

Kim O'Farrell: I felt discouraged. I felt like, you know, I've been trying to watch out for things, but I got busy with life and I didn't do any followups. And that's what I want the listeners to do. Go followup. Do your scans and get everything so you don't get a surprise like that. It's not surprise you'd want.

Host: Yeah, yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: But I'm ready for the fight. I mean, I'm not giving up, believe me.

Host: Yeah. Right now, from what I see, you don't have cancer.

Kim O'Farrell: That's right.

Host: Dr. Lacher is doing a wonderful job taking care of you.

Kim O'Farrell: Oh yes. She is a godsend.

Host: And so, again, thinking C word as a cure, how were you first reassured about this cancer coming back, and then how are you going to deal with it and how Dr. Lacher kind of communicated that with you?

Kim O'Farrell: Well, Dr. Lacher has this kind of calming way. And I have to say, even when I felt at my worst, and I'd go in and just talk with her, I had a better attitude walking out, like, "I can do this. You know, this is doable." And she's built my confidence quite a bit. I'm pretty sure that I'm on the pole to recovery. I don't know if there is a total recovery, but I'm right there.

Host: Yeah. And again, you have your husband here for support.

Kim O'Farrell: Yes. And he's been a godsend. And it was crazy. Two years ago, I was diagnosed and then to find out he had cancer, I was in shock. I couldn't believe-- lightning doesn't strike twice. It just doesn't. And then, when I found out he had cancer, that took me back a little bit. But he's doing well and he's got the right attitude and he got it from me.

Host: Let me turn to you real quickly, Mr. O'Farrell. I'm not going to talk about your cancer right now. And obviously, she'd been through this journey multiple times with cancer each time. And each time, it hits her hard. How does it hit you?

Michael O'Farrell: Well, honestly, I'm hit hard also, but I always say it's not that bad and always try to stay positive. And I go, you start getting down on yourself, then it's just going to make things worse. So, we'll stay positive, we'll go through the treatments and see what happens. But if you're just giving up now, then why even do anything? So, we have to have the good attitude. And then, every day, I make sure that we got a good attitude going. We'd get out of bed and make sure we got our medications taken, and we'd get our food. And back then, I was going to work every day. So, I'd have to make sure she's getting up and getting everything ready to go. Luckily, I only work a couple minutes away so I can come home at lunch or I'm on the phone texting all day or talking to her. So, that way was just to stay positive through all the cancers.

Host: Yeah. And again, speaking as a caregiver to her, as you were taking care of her before you got your own diagnosis and all that, what support did you have?

Michael O'Farrell: Well, I had her family, her sister, her daughter. My family's always calling. My dad and my sisters were always calling to checkup on Kim, especially with this lung cancer diagnosis. Before, we were kind on our own a little bit.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. We didn't tell all the people.

Michael O'Farrell: And then, now with this, we all kind of came together. And not that I want to say the other ones were minor, because there's nothing minor when it comes to cancer or anything with your health. And like Kim said, get your scans and followup.

Host: In some ways, sometimes when we have surgeries to do, it feels like there is something definite and "easier", I guess. So, I can understand what you're saying, I think, whereas this is more open-ended. So, it sounds like you've included a bigger community of family around you.

Kim O'Farrell: I have. I have. I just found out, which I would've never known, my neighbor is a nurse. And she said, "If there's anything I can do for you," and then another neighbor-- you know, when you keep it quiet and to yourself, it's not helping you any. You need to let people know and grab your strength wherever you can get it. Because cancer, it's a killer and, you know, I refuse to let it take me. Not like this. No way. I'm a fighter.

Host: What else brings you comfort right now? Like, what strategies do you have to comfort yourself when get home from treatment?

Kim O'Farrell: I have this wonderful dog. He is just my biggest support. He just lays on the couch next to me. And he knows I'm sick and he knows when I'm sick and he doesn't bother me. And he's just wonderful. And when Mike's not around, a dog's a thing to have.

Host: Yeah. Yeah.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. But yeah, I've gotten a lot of support with family. And we kept most of the cancers to myself. But this one, we knew we couldn't-- you know, stage IV is one you got to share.

Host: So, sometimes when we use the word stage IV, obviously, that becomes more scary. For people listening in on the podcast, we generally have four stages of cancer. One being "the earliest and smallest," and then a little bit more each time. Stage IV generally means, for the listeners, that cancer has spread from wherever it first started, in this case, the lung, to other organs. And that's what stage IV means to us in the medical profession, that It just went from one place to another. The trick is that, in many cases, unlike the previous cancer where it was the earlier stage and you can just cut it out and things like that, you have to remain on treatment. So, it's a much more continuous kind of long-term process of taking care of someone or being taken care of, right?

Kim O'Farrell: Right.

Host: How did that concept affect you, knowing that you're going to be here for a good long time with us?

Kim O'Farrell: Well, it helps that you're also so kind and caring. In my opinion, this was the best place we found when I found cancer, because I found support, I found love, I found just spiritual being here. It's opened up my life differently. And I appreciate all these people that have helped me and made my day better. And I'm willing to hang with them most most of the time.

Host: Very good. We expect you to be around for a long time.

Michael O'Farrell: Yes. For a long time, Kimberly.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. I might be here a lot.

Host: Yeah. A long time. I guess, now that you both are in this journey together, what do you got to do together, dealing with the cancer as together instead of you just taking care of her? Now you have somebody taking care of you.

Michael O'Farrell: Well, it seems to go in cycles, where she'll be down and not feeling good and I'm feeling okay. And then, I take care of her. And then, now, I'm going through my chemo the next couple days, and in couple days, I'll be feeling pretty crummy and she'll be up again and she'll be taking care of me.

Kim O'Farrell: And I'll be taking care of him.

Michael O'Farrell: So, it kind of goes back and forth. And then, we have our dog, of that takes care of us.

Host: Right. What's the experience for you, Mrs. O'Farrell, now, I guess not being cared for, but caring for a person? How does that hit you being different?

Kim O'Farrell: I've always said I couldn't go on without Michael. So, it was a hard hit. It emotionally took me through a rollercoaster for a while. But after a couple weeks, you know, you get grounded, and you look at what you got to do and you just move forward. And I am more than happy to help my husband through this journey.

Host: You've been in the role of being cared for for so long.

Kim O'Farrell: Yes.

Host: Is there any strength or energy that comes about from caring for somebody else?

Kim O'Farrell: I think really there is. I mean, sometimes when I'm not feeling the best and he's really down, I pick myself up because I know this is what he needs. And he's been there for me so much, i've got to be there for him. And I think we're a good team. I really do.

Host: I see that.

Michael O'Farrell: It's all about team for us anyway. It is, you know?

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. It's all about team.

Michael O'Farrell: And before I was diagnosed with any cancer, it was all about team before. And priority number one was always Kim and getting her cancer. The original diagnosis, for me, hearing it was pretty grim. You know, the cancer spread to her bone. And then, I'm like, "Oh, it's in her bone and the lung" and, "Oh, this is horrible," which of course it was. And then, where did we go from there?

Kim O'Farrell: We went to Dr. Lacher.

Michael O'Farrell: Yeah. yeah.

Host: Yeah.

Michael O'Farrell: And then, I got diagnosed and they said, "Oh, we already called an oncologist for you. Do you know Dr. Lacher?" I go, " Oh, thank goodness. already know you her. "But I just saw him on Friday." She goes, "He looked fine then." But we're doing good. And we have each other and the support, like you said, of both of our families. Even our brother that we would talk to every once in a while and see him, but now he's stopping on his way from Michigan going to Florida. He tops by our house to see how we're doing. And he has done that a couple times. And it means a lot to me, but it means the world to Kim. It's weird how as we get older and these cancers happened to us, how we've all kind of come together. And life is short. And whatever else is going on doesn't really matter that much. And so, let's all come together and support our family, our loved ones.

Host: Any other words of advice from either of you about how to deal with the diagnosis, how to deal with the journey, how to deal with your community?

Kim O'Farrell: I turned to the Lord first. He was the first one I talked with, and it was a difficult talk, because I had to yell at myself a little bit too. "This is your fault. You didn't get your scannings." You got to get scanned. It's so important. I went through this with the support of my sister and my husband and my daughter, and I've been blessed. And now that the rest of our family have been brought into this, it's actually kind of eased my mind. And I've been a little more calm. And it's helped, it's helped quite a bit. Nothing like reaching out to the family and them reaching back.

Michael O'Farrell: Once you get diagnosed, you get this bad news, and it's horrible. You have to stay positive. Right off the bat, stay positive. It's not the end of the world. Think about how we're going to solve this problem instead of giving up on everything. And while you're going through it, it's not going to be easy. And just remember to keep your eye on the prize, I guess it is. It's like just go with your treatments, do what the doctors say, and do your followup and get your scans. And do everything they say you're supposed to do, and everything's going to work out fine.

Kim O'Farrell: Yeah. I don't get these people that don't listen to you guys, because I think you guys are just the world. All you oncologists, you work so hard to help us.

Michael O'Farrell: And all the support we get here at the cancer place, everybody is so nice all the time. And I know, you know, when sick people who end up diagnosed probably aren't the best, but everybody's just nice all the time.

Kim O'Farrell: Every time you come in here, it's the smiling faces and the upbeat attitude. And it always puts you-- if you're in a crummy mood coming in--

Michael O'Farrell: From the people at the front desk, to the nurses, to all doctors, Denise, and our new friend, Taylor. Everybody is so nice. And that's a big part of the support. It is not just your family, but you go to someplace that you trust. And now, when I got diagnosed, Kim has already been here for a year. So, I know we knew all the treatment, we knew all the people here. So, we kind of knew what we were in for. So, we're both doing good. And it's all about attitude and the support of your family. You know, just a simple phone call from someone you haven't talked to in a while or whatever just means the world. Just that five-minute phone call. I mean, I'm hearing from people that I haven't talked to. And when I was at this wedding I was serving, all these people are coming up to me that I haven't seen in 20 years, 25 years. And that means a lot to both of us, to Kim and I.

Host: Well, I do appreciate you coming in. I appreciate you sharing your life with our listeners. And it's always so helpful to hear how you get through it so that other people can think through how they're going to get through it or help their loved ones, right? Because we are trying to create community here. So, thank you again.

Michael O'Farrell: Thank you for having us.

Kim O'Farrell: Thank you, Doctor. Thank you very much.

Michael O'Farrell: This was fun.

Host: Yeah. Good, good. And so, thank you again for listening to this podcast, The "C" Word, Community Not Cancer. And we look forward to sharing more stories in the future.