Intro: Welcome to Conversations on Cancer, brought to you by the Riverside Cancer Institute, providing answers, debunking myths, and sharing patient stories. ​

Dr. Ahsan Basha (Host): Hi. This is Dr. Ahsan Basha. Welcome back to our podcast, The C Word: Community, Not Cancer. Today, I have a guest who I know very well. Crystal is a patient that I've been taking care of for, I just realized, almost a year.

Crystal: We both just realized.

Host: Yeah. So, Crystal comes to us. We diagnosed her a little about a year ago with a type of cancer called rectal cancer. And her cancer had already spread to other parts of the body. And we've been taking care of her since. And so, we're going to introduce her and talk about how her experience has been. Welcome, Crystal.

Crystal: Thank you for having me, Dr. Basha.

Host: Thank you for agreeing. It's your story that we get to hear. So, we're always appreciative of that. So again, you came to me just a little bit about a year ago. July 2025 was actually when you came. Remind me what it was like when you first came here.

Crystal: When I first came to see you?

Host: When you first last July, what was happening to you?

Crystal: Yeah. So, it was prior to my surgery, so I had had a colonoscopy done. And then, they put an ostomy in so that I could kind of relieve the pain that I was having.

Host: But actually, if you don't mind, tell me a little bit about the pain that brought you there. What brought you to our office?

Crystal: Sure. Yeah, I couldn't sit down, for one, to ride in a car I had to lay flat in the car seat. And I couldn't drive. I couldn't do anything, and I was just in excruciating pain. I have two older sons, they're in their 40s. And both of them were like, "Mom, you've got to go find out why you're having so much pain." So, that started—

Host: And so, where did you go first? I can't remember actually.

Crystal: Sure. Gibson City, the hospital there. I went there and had my colonoscopy done. And that's where they found the tumor. And then, I ended up in so much pain that I went by ambulance to Riverside to the emergency room and got the referral to come see you.

Host: Yeah. Yeah. So, when Crystal first came to us, we had gotten the diagnosis, but we didn't know much about her disease beyond the diagnosis. And that's where we started. But, as she said, she was in so much pain, it was hard to actually do anything. We couldn't do any scans or anything because we couldn't get you comfortable, right? What was it like being in so much pain? Just I mean—I know it was miserable. But tell me, like, what was happening to you?

Crystal: Sure. I had never experienced that much pain prior to having the pain start, and it came on kind of quickly. It was like it started and then, like, two weeks later it started accelerating.

Yeah. And so, I teach yoga. I have a yoga studio. And I also teach aerial yoga and aerial fitness, so you're flipping around in silk and, you know, it's hitting that area. So, that's how I noticed that something was wrong, because I wasn't able to do that. And so, I haven't actually been able to work since then just because I'm still in treatment and still Dr. Basha is working with me to try and figure this all out.

Host: So, Crystal was an extremely active person. Physically active. So, this was a sudden change in your life.

Crystal: Huge. It was huge. I went all day long. I had clients. And then, I taught, and I was pretty busy all day long. I think this is my way of resting. A hard way of resting, but taking the rest when you need it.

Host: So in your particular case, we had to get a surgeon involved outside of Riverside in this situation, just because of the nature of your cancer, we actually referred you to northwestern. Though you actually took a different way of getting there, because of your pain.

Crystal: Yeah. I went to the emergency room. So, I'm a retired nurse, so I knew that I needed to get established. And the pain that I was having was pretty severe. So, I went and got established with them through the emergency room, which was a huge help when I really needed it, because it got me in to their facility a lot quicker. Now, I'm not telling everybody to go to the emergency room, but that's the route that I took. And it was extremely helpful because I went and saw the surgeon. And within that day, I had surgery that night. I mean, it was pretty quick.

Host: Yeah. Her surgeon at Northwestern was an incredible woman.

Crystal: Incredible. Incredible. Just fabulous.

Host: Very empathetic, very concerned about your cancer and making you comfortable again. Like Crystal said, she hadn't been able to sit or walk or do anything for almost a month or so.

Crystal: Yeah, it was about a month and a half to two months, and eating was hard, too. So in that period of time, I lost 40 pounds. And so, I lost a lot of my muscle mass.

Host: And because of she couldn't get comfortable, we weren't able to get any scans done to figure where the cancer was. But when the doctor at Northwestern saw her and took her to surgery, she also evaluated her and looked for where else the cancer may be and actually ended up doing the imaging under anesthesia. And it revealed that the cancer had already spread, unfortunately. So, her cancer had spread to her liver. How did you take that news?

Crystal: Well—

Host: It seems like a dumb question, but—

Crystal: Not at all. Not at all. I kind of expected it. Again, you know, with my nursing background, it was a little maybe less traumatic, because I put myself in a patient. I decided that I was not going to be the nurse, I was going to be the patient. And when I put myself in the patient's role, I as a nurse understood and was compassionate for what I was going through.

And so, it made it a little easier, I think, for me to be able to just assimilate everything, what's going on. I didn't go through a period of time where I was like, "Why me?" For almost, what? I talked to you about it maybe two months ago. And it was like, "That's not how that works, because I was healthy. I ate right, exercised way more than most people in their mid-60s. And then, you just helped me to gradually understand that that was just the makeup of what was going on. My mother had kidney cancer, so there was a genetic possibility.

Host: So eventually, we came to the realization that your cancer had spread. And so, I don't know if I told you or the doctors at Northwestern told you, but that our goal of taking care of you is to make you feel better as best as we can, and put the cancer in hopefully a controlled manner, but that I wouldn't be able to cure you. How did that fall on you?

Crystal: I think probably the way it falls on most people at first. Kind of because of my yoga and my training in there, I'm an emotional person anyways. My dad used to tell me, "Put your feelings in your feet." That's a good place for them because now I have my feet issues.

But anyway, I tried to take it and just go, "This is life. This is what I'm being dealt." I've always been somebody who's helped others. And so, I was like, "How can I help somebody else to go through this?" So, this is going around in my brain when I'm hearing this from you is like, "Well, what can I do that I can now help somebody else?" So, I wasn't really taking that information in too deeply. And then, there was one night when I just kind of cried for a long time and went, "Okay. This is okay." Each day is important to me. I have granddaughters. And I have two sons and a husband. And I was like, "I'm not going anywhere yet. I'm going to see who I can help from this experience."

Host: Yeah. Which is why I've invited you here. And then since then, we started on treatment. Initially kind of rough, right?

Crystal: It was real rough. Well, when I first came to you, remember, I was taking the essential—I have essential oils that I use, and I was on doTERRA, like this little program for cancer. And I told him, I said, "If this is what chemo's going to be like," I was so sick from the essential oils and what they were trying to get out of my body. He said, "That bag, we're going to stop that for right now." He goes, "We'll talk about it later, but you were receptive to it which most aren't." And even just normal everyday person sometimes is, "An essential oil. Well, what's in that?" But I think people are getting more and more understanding of it. So, I stopped that. And I'm just following what treatment you're giving me. And you said, "Once we get somewhere where it's not helping you anymore, we'll look into whatever else you bring to me."

Host: Yeah. So, we actually initially started her on one form of chemotherapy. If I remember right, we did that for about three or four months. It wasn't really making you feel better. I would remember seeing Crystal in her chair kind of semi-crying and miserable.

Crystal: I pulled the cap of my hat down.

Host: Yeah, kind of miserable. Still having a hard time getting a position that made her comfortable to sit. And it was obvious that the treatment itself wasn't working. So, I think we had a sit down at that point with your friend and your husband.

Crystal: Yeah, my daughter-in-law, my son.

Host: Yeah. And we talked about what our goals of care for her and everything was. Do you remember much about that?



Crystal: Well, it was interesting because my friend, she's got her doctorate in education and master's in nursing, and she came from Oregon four different times to just stay with me. This is how friendship and community is so important, because she supported me through that. And my husband ended up getting physically sick, which he doesn't always believe in the energy stuff that I tend to go to.

And so, he got sick. He physically got sick, and he told me two days ago, he said, "You know, when I got sick," he goes, "I realized that this is what you're going to be until you're not here anymore." And he goes, "I didn't get that." He wasn't hearing it, Which is very common, but it's understandable for sure.

Host: Yeah. So at that point, we did make changes in her therapy. And with grace, you're looking great now. And you look like you're responding to it, so we're happy about that. And so, you hinted at a bunch of things that I'd like to kind of play more into. So, that's where your treatment is right now. We believe Crystal's doing relatively well. Like I said, she looks a lot different than she did. She can sit down now comfortably and everything. And so, that's a thrilling thing in and of itself.

But to hit on a bunch of things you talked about, I want to put that together to help our community to deal with when they have issues, okay? I like the part about self-compassion. Tell me more about that for you.

Crystal: For me, self-compassion is really just understanding that I believe we're all connected. That's in my training as a yoga instructor, and I've been doing that for 35 years. So, that understanding that we are all one, if you were sick and you were having the issues that I was having, I would step in and say, "Well, how can I help you? What can we do?" And so, that compassion sometimes doesn't always get replayed back to ourselves, because we do it for others, but we don't always do it for ourself.

So, what I have learned over the years is just to be still. And when we are still, sometimes you hear that whisper that's that group of community. One of your friends saying something to you and going, "Oh, well, Crystal, maybe we should go see Dr. Basha," or, "Maybe we should go to the emergency room," you know, something like that. But that self-compassion is usually when I am meditating and when I get still, because I'm not still very often. I teach a lot, so I talk a lot.

Host: So, like I said, when some people approach cancer as "I've done everything right." like I said, "I've been healthy. I've done this. I've done that. I've eaten right and everything like that. So, why me?" But you didn't take it that way, sounds like.

Crystal: No, I had just that one day allowed myself to go through it. That's the body's way of managing, mind's way of managing.

Host: And then, I'd like to hit back upon how you reach out to community. And obviously your friend, you talked about what comes out to you, but who else? How else do you involve community?

Crystal: Unbelievably—no, it's believable to me, because I would do the same thing. I have a wall in my room where I sleep is a row of cards, and it's about five and a half feet long. And there's four rows going to the ceiling. And they're doubled and tripled. And so, the community has sent me cards of support and encouragement.

I got a feather the other day, and it was a feather that she had found when she was walking and thinking about me. And so, she sent it in a card to me. People would send money to help us with gas and driving, or they just stop by. And I was just having that conversation about how important it is to have that community, because I can't imagine going through this alone.

Host: I agree. And it's good that you reach out. Some people, and everybody's different, so I don't make any kind of thing, but some people want to be alone and they're doing great. Some people need people around. So, there's all sorts of ways to manage their cancer. But as long as it's true to them, right? To be able to be true to yourself.

Crystal: Being true to myself.

Host: The way you do this. What else can you teach us and the community about your own self-care? How you take care of yourself when you're not at the clinic, how you take care of yourself nutritionally, everything.

Crystal: Sure. Yeah. I think you got tired of hearing me ask for a nutritionist to talk to. And so what I wanted to see was how muchz protein I needed to have in my system to keep me healthy and that was okay for my kidneys, you know? And so, I got that information from the nutritionist, two of them. One from you, and then one from Northwestern as well. And they were almost identical. Everything that has been occurring with that collaboration has been almost identical. So, I watch my food. I ate pretty healthy before, but I also allow myself, if I see a chocolate chip cookie that's steaming, it's going to come to me, you know? Because once in a while, maybe you need that. So, I allow that to happen.

I walk. I asked you, I think I remember, I said, "Can I go walk around the block?" I should have asked before I did, because I walked around the block and then I asked you. But you were like, "Oh, no, please do." You know, so I continue to do the walking. I'm not ready to teach yet. My voice has been affected because of the chemo. So, I lose my voice pretty quickly, which you're probably able to tell now.

Host: So, just as an aside, we do know that people do better with their chemotherapy or whatever treatment we end up giving them if they remain as physically active as possible. That actually has a significant beneficial effect on being able to tolerate treatment, both physically, as well as mentally. I do encourage everybody, as much as they're ableto, tobe active, that tends to do better. Tell me about your family. How are they doing now?

Crystal: They're doing good. My youngest son stops by on his weekly Fridays and comes and sees me. And then, my older son, he has toddlers, so he's busy. And he calls me, just about every few days. I also have that support. My husband's been amazing. If I have to go somewhere, I have I call it Driving Miss Daisy list. Where does Miss Daisy have to go today? But he gets plugged into that and in addition to working his own contractor business. So, in addition to that, he makes meals for me if I need something. We go out to dinner on Friday nights, but not out. We call in for a nice restaurant and we call it in and we eat at home together.

Host: How did he get past that? You said he was in physical pain, right?

Crystal: Oh, yeah. He was in physical pain. He had a pretty serious flu is what he was going through. But you know, I'm sitting there going, "Yeah, your body is excreting what emotions you're not." So, please just let that go. And he let it go, and that's how he normally is, though, Is once he understands and he assimilates it and then he moves on.

Host: And did you have a part in playing that understanding for him

Crystal: He did that all on his own. He's lived with me for a while or two, I think, 45 years now. So, he's learned from listening to me about my teachings and stuff.

Host: And in terms of how do you envision each day, and how do you envision your future?

Crystal: So, each day, I take each moment, each breath. It's mine for now, but it won't be always. So, I take it moment by moment. I try to bring joy into my activities during the day, you know? So, I'll do something that I really love doing. I've learned that I like making and baking and doing stuff in the kitchen, which I didn't have time for before. So yeah, I love doing that. I love spending it with my grandkids. I know I've asked you multiple times. I have from a 22-year-old granddaughter down to a two-year-old, a three-year. She just turned three. And so, there's a wide array. And so, we go do different things together.

And there was a concern, when they get sick, little toddlers get sick a lot. And I was like, "I don't want to miss my little one." And you comforted me and said, "Hey, just follow these rules and it'll be fine." And you talked to my daughter-in-law, too. She's a nurse practitioner. And you guys kind of said the same thing, so it put us all at ease, because my grandchildren are pretty important to me. My children, too, my husband. Everybody in my life are important to me.

Host: Of course, they are.

Crystal: I mean, I could not have done this, and say this enough. The support, the community has just been overwhelmingly supportive.

Host: Well, you have to invite them in.

Crystal: Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. I'll do that. Free yoga. No. Nobody will come.

Host: Yeah. So at this time, we believe Crystal is doing well. And if the audience saw her five months ago, four months ago, and see her now, they would notice a person who is behaving healthy, as healthy as can be. And to see that is always a joy for a doctor too, just so you know. And I appreciate everything you've brought to us just in terms of helping other people. Just part of you helping other people, that's part of who you are. And so, I appreciate that you came in to to us today. Anything else you'd like to add then just on your own as far as advice or suggestions to other people going through thiis?

Crystal: I forgot to answer two of your questions. I have that happen a lot. You know, they tell you chemotherapy brain.

Host: Yes.

Crystal: It's been very active today.

Host: It's a good excuse

Crystal: Yeah, it is a good excuse that all my girlfriends are using. Yeah. I got the other C brain. Anyways, where I plan to be, right? I'm not going to be on this planet forever. Nobody else is either. We don't know. I happen to have a little bit more insight on it. And that insight helps me to prepare. Now, some people like to prepare and some don't. And I happen to be one that likes to prepare. So, that's what I'm doing. I do devotionals every day with a group of six ladies on the phone. It's absolutely wonderful to talk to people. Sometimes you don't get to talk to anybody for the entire day because you're hurting or you're sick to your stomach or something's going on. But you just kind of come out of it, and that devotional helps you get really good sleep at night. It's a sound sleep.

Host: Before we end this conversation, is there anything that you would like to say in terms of any other thoughts or advice you have to people who are maybe just starting on this-

Crystal: Yeah. And it's one thing that I say, I am not cancer. I don't walk in that word. I have a disease process that's going on in my body right now, but I don't name it. Because you name it and it becomes you. And everything that you see in a person, it becomes you. Why can't I do that? Or why can't I do this? Well, because I'm not feeling well. Well, then go out for a walk. You know, I'll change my reference or my point of view. That's what all of the other stuff does. It changes my point of view and my reference to life.

Host: I really appreciate that advice. It's a great advice. And actually thinking back, that's how I got to the title of our podcast, which is The C Word. It's not cancer, it's community.

So, thank you so much, Crystal. I really appreciate that you came in, that you shared your story, that you shared your advice, and shared your life.

Crystal: You're welcome. Thank you for doing what you do. You've given me life back.

Host: I apreciate that. So to our community, thank you for again for listening to another episode of The C Word Community, Not Cancer. And we hope to see you with our next visit.