Transcription:
Assertive Communication for Healthcare Leaders

Intro: The following SHSMD Podcast is a production of DoctorPodcasting.com.

Bill Klaproth (host): On this edition of the SHSMD Podcast, I'm going to hit you with a quote right up top, "Effective leadership starts with communication." Think about that for a minute. If you're not a good communicator, chances are you're probably not a good leader. But you can learn to communicate better. So let's talk about assertive communication for healthcare leaders and we're going to help you become a better communicator. Well, not me, but Terri Flood and MJ Clark are. They are presenting at this year's SHSMD Connections 2022. So let's find out how we all can become better communicators, right, Bill? Yes, that's right, Bill. Okay. Let's start this thing off right now.

This is the SHSMD Podcast, rapid insights for healthcare strategy professionals in planning, business development, marketing communications, and public relations. I'm your host, Bill Klaproth. And in this episode, we talk with Terri Flood, Vice President of Business Development at Wayne Healthcare and MJ Clark, Vice President for Integrated Leadership Systems. MJ and TerrI are presenting an executive level session at this year's SHSMD Connection's in-person annual conference, September 11th through the 14th in the Washington DC area. Their session is titled Assertive Communication for Healthcare Leaders, and it's going to be a good one.

MJ and TerrI, welcome to the SHSMD Podcast. As you know, we start every episode of the SHSMD Podcast with rapid insights, one quick tip someone can use to make their marketing communications better today. MJ, you're up first. Give us your rapid insight.

MJ Clark: Pushing yourself to practice uncomfortable conversations in your personal life will help you become significantly more skilled at having difficult conversations in the workplace, which directly leads to building trusting relationships.

Bill Klaproth (host): I love that rapid insight. Practice your difficult conversations in your personal life, and that will help you in your professional life. That is a great tip. Thank you for that, MJ. Okay, TerrI, you're up next. Give us your rapid insight.

Terri Flood: Well, I would say self-awareness because it's essential to developing yourself both as an individual, but also with your relationships with others. And it also adds to one's emotional intelligence. I think we need to remember to be nimble and also remember to master verbal communication strategies, which of course helps the mindset and also helps you become a better leader.

Bill Klaproth (host): Another great rapid insight. Thank you for that, Terri. Yeah, self-awareness, we certainly all could use that. And then, learning about our own communication skills, where our weaknesses are, where our strengths are certainly would help us, not only in our professional life, but our personal life as well. Well, we are really looking forward to your SHSMD Connections 2022 session Assertive Communication for Healthcare Leaders. I love that title. Assertive communication, not regular communication. No, assertive communication.

So Terri, let me start with you. Why are communication skills so vital to success as a healthcare leader, and then potentially the biggest stumbling blocks that someone will encounter?

Terri Flood: Well, as we all know, especially with the challenge that most of us have endured -- not most, all of us have endured with the pandemic recently -- assertive communication and being clear is critical for all levels of leadership and our development. It shows that we are confident in who we are, especially as we're leading others, especially in difficult conversations and situations. And it also shows your true authentic self. When people can trust what you're saying, they tend to follow you more as a leader. And it also helps, you know, when you're trying to ease people's emotion, so you're coming off non-threatening. So it's very important that we remember to be assertive in our communication as well as clearly.

Bill Klaproth (host): So when you hear assertive, some people might think, you know, like commanding, commandeering, assertive. You're saying that's not it necessarily. You're saying just being very clear with what you say and, you know, not being, well, you know, wishy washy. Is that right?

Terri Flood: Exactly. So we want to remember to use direct eye contact that shows that you're confident and you're truthful in what you're saying, you're strong and not intimidating. It also shows that you're assertive in your stance. Your facial expressions, whether we realize it or not, when we're speaking to people, our body language says something different sometimes. So we need to be mindful of that when we're communicating with others. And then, I think clarity as well as positive language is also important when we talk about assertive communication style.

Bill Klaproth (host): Great tips. So thank you for that. And MJ, then on the other hand, we've got listening, which is also really important in communication. So MJ, how does attentive listening impact the extent to which we ourselves are heard?

MJ Clark: Well, I think a lot of the people that I coach often will say they have trouble not talking too much. And I have found that people who talk too much generally do so because they don't feel heard themselves, but it actually gets them the opposite of what they are seeking. So attentive listening really shows respect and interest. So if I just ignore you, I'm not being respectful in the moment or if I'm thinking about what to say next, that's not helpful for my listener to feel like they are being heard. So if we show respect through attentive listening, people are much more likely to listen to us out of mutual respect.

Bill Klaproth (host): So it sounds like you're saying most of the time we're listening waiting to talk instead of listening for understanding. Is that right, MJ?

MJ Clark: Correct. When Terri and I have presented this in the past, we have learned that most people will say that's the element they struggle with most, is not thinking about what to say next. And it's very distracting in our minds to be having that inner dialogue of what are we going to say as soon as they stop talking. And we're clearly not paying attention when that is going on.

Bill Klaproth (host): So it's tough to listen for understanding when you're thinking about, "What am I going to say next?"

MJ Clark: Exactly.

Bill Klaproth (host): So Terri, in your session, which I think is just going to be dynamite, participants are going to learn the motivation behind passive, assertive and aggressive behavior. Can you give us a preview of what you're going to be teaching?

Terri Flood: Well, we're going to talk about some challenges that people face while they're at work. They may be dealing with someone who's under stress, and how do you talk to somebody that's at that level, as well as maybe someone who's at a director level or you've got mismatched communications. So we're going to give some examples. We're going to talk about some of the hardest things that people deal with. Oftentimes people are uncomfortable having conversations with others for various reasons. And so, as we know, effective leadership starts with communication. And we also know that the ability to communicate as leaders, it helps us, again as I've said before, gain trust and confidence in our teams, and it also helps us to lead better from an employee engagement and patient outcome standpoint, which is important in healthcare leadership.

Bill Klaproth (host): I love what said there, effective leadership starts with communication. So you can be brilliant, but if you can't communicate your ideas or if you don't know how to talk to people or get those ideas across in a certain way, you're probably not going to be an effective leader. Is that right, Terri?

Terri Flood: That's exactly right. You need to be able to communicate with everyone within the organization, regardless if you're a frontline leader, all the way up to the executive level.

Bill Klaproth (host): Yeah, this is really going to be interesting. And then MJ, I know also in your session, you're going to talk about how our thoughts about others impact our emotional state and behavior toward them, as well as our tone of voice and body language. I mean, I think this is so good. Tell us about that, how our thoughts about others impact our communication.

MJ Clark: Yes, I will go over in the session cognitive behavioral psychology model by a psychologist. Albert Ellis. And it's really a roadmap to how people get to their behavior. So things happen outside of us and we take them in with our belief system, kind of how we view the world, like the lenses of your glasses. If we all were wearing glasses, we would have a different prescription, kind of how we view the world. That belief system really leads us to emotional states, which lead us to behavior. And as Terri mentioned earlier, some of that behavior is not necessarily just the words that we say or the things we do intentionally, but also it's body language, it's facial expressions, it's tone of voice. It's all of those different communication elements beyond just saying words. So we will talk through that behavioral model in our session and talk about how those emotional states come to be through the way that we take in events outside of us. It's fascinating stuff. And that's the only deep dive on psychology that we'll do in the session, so it won't be boring, we promise.

Bill Klaproth (host): I know it's not going to be boring. Absolutely. So MJ, you're also going to share a three-step assertive communication model that will give participants examples of the words to use when approaching a tough conversation. And we all have to have tough conversations from time to time. And I'm sure many of us are like, "Oh God, I don't want to do this. Do I have to do this?" You know, that dread when a tough conversation is approaching. "I don't want to get into a big fight. Oh, no," those thoughts running through your head. So you're going to give us some examples of how to approach a tough conversation and the words to use. Is that right?

MJ Clark: Yes, that's right. We will talk through how we do that without getting a lot of defensiveness, which as you pointed out, people are worried about these conversations because they're worried about the reaction they're going to get from the person receiving it. So we will talk through three simple steps: describe the behavior, explain how it makes you feel and then explain the changes that you would like made. So we'll go into that in more detail in the session, but just so you can have a quick snapshot of an example, an example might go something like this. I might start out, "I noticed that you interrupted me five times in today's meeting." And then, I'm going to share a feeling, "When this happens, I feel dismissed." And the other person is probably going to respond at this point, they might say, "Well, I feel like you go on too long." So the third step would be explaining the changes I would like made. So I would say something like, "I would ask that you allow me to finish my thoughts and I promise to try to keep my comments brief."

Bill Klaproth (host): Okay. So that's a working example of how to approach a discussion like that. And using the words "I feel" because then you're not saying, "You are doing this," which would get them defensive. You're talking about your feelings and then how can the person get defensive if you're saying, "I feel this," right? Is that kind of how it works?

MJ Clark: Yes. And the first step is similar in nature that you're pointing out. If I describe the behavior, I am not labeling them as wrong, I'm not attacking them, I'm not using a you-statement. I'm simply saying, "Here's the facts. I'm just pointing to the facts." And people don't argue with that because they know it, they see it, and I see it. So there's really no backlash there. There's no chance for them to get defensive.

Bill Klaproth (host): And that really is the key, not using the you-statement. "You do this," "You do that." Because when you use the you-statement, that's when people do get defensive. So rather use, you know, "I feel this" and then explain the facts, as you say, MJ. That's really good. And Terri, I also want to ask you your thoughts about your session, what your goals are, what you are hoping people walk away with after your session.

Terri Flood: Well, I think what we hope to achieve in sharing with the participants that are attend our session is remembering that it's okay to do this scared, that nobody is perfect. But as we all continue on our lifelong journey, building our skills is important. So we want to make this session meaningful and lasting by encouraging them to listen to the tips, role-play with us and write down a couple of goals for themselves to improve their ability in how they communicate with others, whether it be -- we're talking specifically about leaders -- so leaders in their home leaders, in their community, and we're specifically talking about healthcare, but they can use this to practice at various levels for themselves. And assertive communication, it's a journey, right? We all are striving to be better. So it's a commitment to changing a behavior that no longer serves us. So that one day, when we're placed in a difficult situation, we'll have these tips, these effective tips, to have assertive conversations with those that we're communicating with.

Bill Klaproth (host): Right. Assertive communication is a journey. That's a good way to put it. And certainly, you can make some steps towards being better on that journey by attending your session. This is really going to be good. We're looking forward to it. And if I could just get some final thoughts from each of you on this, I would appreciate it. MJ, let me start with you. When we're talking about assertive communication for healthcare leaders, give us your final thought.

MJ Clark: Yes, I would just encourage those who come to come with not only questions about the material, but also scenarios that they might like Terri and I to address. One thing I love about our session is that oftentimes people are learning as much from the audience as from us. And I think so many great tips and ideas are shared in this session. So I would just encourage people to come. And I know Terri and I are very excited about it.

Bill Klaproth (host): I love that, MJ. So come with questions, bring your scenarios. Maybe you're facing a difficult conversation coming up, they can bring that to you and you could give them some coaching tips. Is that right?

Terri Flood: That's right.

Bill Klaproth (host): Oh, I love it. And Terri, let's wrap up with you. Same thing when we're talking about assertive communication for healthcare leaders, give us your final thoughts.

Terri Flood: You know, as an assertive leader, I would say be vulnerable. I think that's the biggest thing. Sometimes leaders are fearful of being their authentic selves and being vulnerable. So I would say bring your whole self to our session and be transparent with yourself. Take the feedback that others share with you. I would say take it personal and learn from it, because oftentimes we see ourselves one way, but others see us differently. And oftentimes there's patterns there that we don't see ourselves. So listen to what others are saying, build on yourself, set goals for yourself to improve. And again, remember assertive communication is a journey and we're all looking to change our behavior.

Bill Klaproth (host): Yeah. And as you said earlier, Terri, becoming self-aware will help you become a better communicator. So when somebody gives you advice, you said don't be defensive. Try to take that in. That's how we can become more self-aware. Is that right?

Terri Flood: That's correct. When people are self-aware they understand their strengths and their challenges, and that's what helps them thrive.

Bill Klaproth (host): And you said take it personal, right? That's good advice. And that's how you become more. Self-aware. That's how you learn about yourself at the same time.

Terri Flood: That's right.

Bill Klaproth (host): Well, this is gonna be a great session. We're looking forward to this at SHSMD Connections 2022. Terri and MJ, thank you so much for your time. We really appreciate it.

MJ Clark: You're welcome.

Terri Flood: Thank you.

Bill Klaproth (host): And that is Terri Flood and MJ Clark. And learn more from MJ and Terri at this year's SHSMD Connections Conference, September 11th through the 14th, it's near Washington DC. It's going to be gorgeous. Please come on out to this thing. I'll be there. That's a reason right there for you to come out. Stop by our SHSMD podcast booth as we're going to be recording podcasts right from the exhibit show floor. So we hope to see you there.

For more information, go to SHSMD, that's S-H-S-M-D, shsmd.org/connections and get yourself registered and hope to see you there. And if you found this podcast helpful, and again, how could you not? Sorry it, by the end of a podcast, I just kind of get silly. Share it on all of your social channels and please hit the subscribe or follow button to get every episode. This has been a production of Doctorpodcasting. I'm Bill Klaproth. See ya!