Intro: The following SHSMD Podcast is a production of DoctorPodcasting.com.

Bill Klaproth (host): On this edition of the SHSMD Podcast, we have another SHSMD Connections preview for you. So, let me ask you this, have you ever felt anxious about the thought of socializing with strangers being at a networking event? "What do I say? What do I do? How do I walk up to people?" You know that feeling. You've been there. I've been there. So, Lindsay Carrillo has put together a great session called How to Work a Room: Networking Tips for the Modern Era as she shares tried and true best practices to build a plan for success, and then how to implement that plan. So, let's get to Lindsay right now.

This is the SHSMD Podcast, rapid insights for healthcare strategy professionals and planning, business development, marketing, communications, and public relations. I'm your host, Bill Klaproth. With me is Lindsay Carrillo. She is the Director of Business Development at UCI Health, part of the University of California Irvine, and she's going to be presenting at this year's SHSMD Connections Conference, october 12th through the 14th in Dallas. Make sure you get registered.

All right. Hold on. Stop the music. What? You're not yet? Okay. Do that now. Would you please-- well, after the interview, please do that. Lindsay is going to share her expertise on overcoming social anxiety and building meaningful connections in networking situations. Love it. Lindsay, welcome.

Lindsay Carrillo: Great to be here, Bill.

Host: Great to talk with you, Lindsay. Looking forward to this, and I know your session is going to help a lot of people because we all go through this. We see the crowded room and we're supposed to start networking and making connections. You're like, "Oh Lord, can I just turn around and walk out?" So, I love this whole session. How did you come up with this?

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely. So, I saw a survey in Forbes. It said 62% of people reported feeling anxious about just the thought of socializing with strangers. And the top reason being is that they didn't know what to say or how to interact. And like you said, we've all been there. We've been in the corner clutching our drink. We don't know who to talk to. We don't know a soul in the room. "Oh, boy. Do I wish I just had some tips to get started."

Host: And that's why you're here.

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely.

Host: Okay. Well, let's jump right into it. Share with us some of your expertise and tips when it comes to building those meaningful connections and networking situations.

Lindsay Carrillo: So first off, I would say to start with an intention. Plan out, think of it a little bit ahead of time, what you want out of the event. That can be something as simple as I love that keynote speaker. I want to go snap a selfie with them and get to know them better. It can be, "You know, I've been meaning to make a connection at this other hospital in my region. I'm going to go find their director of marketing and go introduce myself," or it could just be as simple as, "I'm going to talk to three new people and then I'm going to get the heck out of there. But I will have accomplished my goal." If you have a goal in mind, your stress will go down. You'll be able to focus. It won't be quite as nerve-racking.

Host: So, be intentional about it. Have a list. "I want to meet these three people." So, kind of know who you want to-- I don't want to say target, this one kind of sounds weird-- but who you want to go talk to at the event, right? So, have that plan going in.

Lindsay Carrillo: Exactly. Set an intention. You'll have a goal, and then you can feel good when you've accomplished that goal.

Host: This is great, Lindsay. So, okay, we're clutching that drink, as you said. We're clutching that drink. And this happens to all of us, believe me. So, you go into the room, you know who you want to talk to. Okay. Now, what do we talk about? I mean, how do we start the conversation? How does that all work?

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely. So, one of the things, as I was looking more deeply into this topic, I really wanted to understand why is this so hard? Why when it should be something so easy, just talking to another human being? Do we all struggle with this? Even people who are naturally outgoing. Everyone has reported saying it's hard to talk to strangers.

So, I wanted to find out some of the whys and then turn those into tools that we could actually use. So, one of the reasons people feel uncomfortable in these situations is they actually think people don't like them as much as people actually do. It's called the liking gap. A study showed that you can have a conversation with someone, walk away, and you think, "Oh, I don't think that went well. They didn't like me at all." And it turns out you are systematically underestimating how much people actually liked you. So number one, you can feel good about that. You are much more likable than you think you are. So, that should boost your confidence.

Number two is that you can walk in with a couple of these psychological tools in your pocket. So, another study showed that we like people who are similar to us. If you can walk in, find something that resonates with another person, that is your gateway in to start these conversations. It can be something as silly as, "Hey, that person's wearing my same color shirt," or "They're wearing Converse and I'm wearing Converse. Let's go strike up that conversation. Studies show they will actually like you more because you have something in common with them. And there's really great tools, easy ways to get those conversations flowing, to start to find those similarities in between you two.

Host: So, you're actually more likable than you think you are. And then, we like people that are similar to us. So, I love the thought about the shirt or the shoes or something, because it's easier if you're both wearing Nikes or something, it's easier to go up and go, "Hey, are those the Jordan 5s--" or whatever, right?

Lindsay Carrillo: Exactly.

Host: It's just kind of an easy way to-- is that like an ice breaker sort of?

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely. And not only is it a really easy way to strike up a conversation, it is actually backed by science that says that person is more likely to have an affinity toward you because you have that thing in common.

Host: So, we've come into the room, we have set our intentions, we understand about the liking gap. So then, what's the next step in that? Do you have to have formulated questions or how does the conversation start?

Lindsay Carrillo: You know, yeah, I would say it's not so much a formula is just these are a couple of really easy tips that you can just have in your pocket. So, there was a report out recently that talked about the efficacy of magical question. So, what's a magical question? It's defined as a question that anyone in the group would be interested in answering.

Now, you go to a conference like SHSMD. Obviously, we all have something in common. We're all in healthcare marketing. Great. Those are table stakes. How can you go a little deeper? How can you actually start to foster a connection with people? So, you can absolutely have a couple of questions in your mind that are fun and get people talking.

So, what's an example? You could be chatting with someone and ask them, "Okay, so you're in your current career, but what's the path you didn't take? If you couldn't do your current job, what is the job you would be doing? And you're going to get some surprising answers. I interviewed one of our physicians here. He told me he wanted to be a major league baseball player. He's a hospitalist by trade. I had no idea that was going to come out of his mouth.

Host: So, have a couple of magical questions tucked away for when you need them.

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely. Anything beyond that surface level of who are you and where are you from to get people going. It can even be great for those kind of lulls in the conversation where you're all standing around in a circle, staring at your shoes. You can say, "Hey, I'm taking a poll. What was everyone's first job? I want to know who had the best first job. Who worked at the zoo when they were 17 years old? Let's hear it," right?

Host: Yeah, for sure. And I'm thinking a magical question can be about careers or work-related as well. Is that right?

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely, it can be career-oriented. Certainly everyone's at this conference because they're trying to learn, they're trying to pick up skills, meet other people who are in their market. So, you can go about it either way. I would just say you can take it to the next level. The session you just walked out of, "Hey, what was your favorite takeaway? What did you actually write down and circle in your notebook that you're going to start implementing right away when you get home?"

Host: That's a really good one, because we all go into those sessions. Say, we're at SHSMD, that's a great one to do. "Hey, what'd you think of this session?" Or, "Hey, did you go to this session?" Or, "Hey, I was at this session and I just learned this." So, that's a great way to start the conversation or keep the conversation rolling or get into deeper stuff than the surface level stuff. "When did you get in, where are you staying?" That kind of stuff.

Lindsay Carrillo: Exactly.

Host: Yeah, that makes sense. Sometimes i'll be in those networking situations, and you feel like you've kind of talked it through, and there's like this lull. And then, you see people kind of scanning the room like, "All right, who else am I going to go talk to?" What do we do in those situations? Or is there an easy way to end the conversation? Just say, "Hey, it's been pleasure talking with you. I'm going to head over here to the bar, get another beer" or whatever. What do we do in those situations?

Lindsay Carrillo: Yeah, that's a great question. Because sometimes the conversation has run its course, you want to move on. So, there's do's and don'ts. One of the don'ts is do not start looking around while you're talking to somebody and see if there's a better prospect waiting around the corner.

Easy ways to end a conversation would be like, "Hey, I'm going to let you go. I know you want to go meet lots of people. I'm trying to work the room myself." You could also ask them, "Hey, you seem really connected. Who else should I meet here? Is there someone that you can introduce me to? Who have you met that you thought was really engaging?" And then, you have an in to your next conversation.

Host: Oh, that is such good advice. That is really powerful. And I know we've all done that. I've done it. I've been in those conversations. And like you say, it kind of reaches an ending point. You don't know how to end it, and you start looking around the room. I know it's happened to me when somebody asks me a question and I'll be talking. All of a sudden they're looking around the room at other people. So, try to avoid that at all costs. And I love your suggestion about how to end and, "Hey, who do you think I should meet? Is there anyone else you think that would be good for me to meet at this conference?" And people generally, I found, want to help other people and are very receptive to that, "Oh my gosh, you should know this person" or "You should meet this person"

Lindsay Carrillo: Also, it's flattering. Yeah. There's nothing like a genuine compliment. If you can find something you actually legitimately like about this person, you mention it to them and complimenting them to say, "You seem like you really know what you're doing here. You seem like you know a lot of people. Can you help me meet some more people? Is there anyone you think I should meet? I think it really helps move the situation along.

Host: Absolutely. Okay. What else? Any other tips or strategies or favorite things you like to do?

Lindsay Carrillo: Absolutely. So, I would say if you're looking to kind of close the deal, this is someone that you have met, you've had a genuine connection, you would like to keep chatting with them, or at least be in their universe, right? So, I think there's really graceful ways that you can do it.

So number one, after you've had a genuine conversation, you could say, "Hey, I really love what you said about X, Y, and Z. Would you mind if we connected on LinkedIn? I'd love to see your thoughts further on the matter." LinkedIn has this super cool tool where you can pull up a QR code. Someone else with a phone can scan it, and then they find you immediately and can be your friend. I also just learned that you can create a QR code for your own contact information in your phone. It's very easy. That way, if you're saying, "Hey, I would love to email you. Could I send you this study that I found? Could I send you this draft of this presentation I'm going to give? I'd love to get your thoughts on it," very easily you can share your contact information without having to be like, "Okay, and is Carrillo two Rs and two Ls?" And then, you get into all of that, right? So, easy tips to seal that deal, make that connection, and then you can take it from there to continue the conversation after the event.

Host: I love it, which is another great piece of advice. Make sure you contact that person after the event and say how nice it was to meet them. So, we've all been in these situations and some can get really awkward. Like you're kind of talked out and it's like, "Okay," and we're standing here and there's that awkward silence. It feels like it's been a minute long. Is there a psychology behind these awkward social interactions and maybe a way to think about them differently or reframe them?

Lindsay Carrillo: Yeah, absolutely. So number one, 40% of adults say that they identify as shy. That's a lot of people. So, these are people who may not be naturally comfortable with these conversations. Sometimes it's coming off as awkwardness. Sometimes it's just people are not naturally good at this. They don't feel comfortable in these situations.

You can take that opportunity to be the glue. If you are good at this and you don't feel a lot of anxiety, you can say, "Let me take you around. Let's go meet some people together." I would also say that if you're there with another person, or let's say you're there with one of your leaders or you're there with a physician that you're trying to introduce around, you can develop like a little signal to one another. If you've arched that eyebrow or you pull on your ear lobe, be like, "Okay, I'm done with this conversation and I could use it a little interruption," those things work as well. You can work as a team, work in tandem to kind of help each other out and be like, "Oh, Dr. Verma, I'm so glad I found you. I have someone I need you to meet. So sorry. I'm going to steal him away."

Host: And you mentioned LinkedIn a couple of times, if there's somebody you really want to meet, does it make sense to research them on LinkedIn? And what's a good way to do that? So when you meet them, you just don't recite the resume in front of them, which would be kind of weird.

Lindsay Carrillo: I don't think anyone wants to know that you know their blood type and how many kids they have. That could really turn somebody off at that point. But if there's someone that you're aiming to meet, you're excited to meet them. Number one, tell them that you have been so excited to meet them. People are flattered by that, and trust me, they can't hear it enough. So, start with that. And then if you do have something genuine, they've recently posted, they were in the news, they just published a book. you can always mention those things. I think it shows some genuine interest. You've done your homework. You're not just fangirling over somebody that has a big name. But if you have these opportunities to get in, have a little conversation, make this connection, it's great to have something ready to go, so you don't just stand there with your tongue hanging out. And trust me, I've totally been there and been that person.

Host: Right. I know we all have. Okay. So, say, you're an extremely introverted person. And I come to you when I say, "Lindsay, I have to go to this event and I have to network. But I do not want to do this, I am extremely introverted," how would you coach me? What would the plan be?

Lindsay Carrillo: I would start with, "Okay. What is your first goal when you walk into that room?" And maybe your first goal is like, "Okay, I'm going to go grab a drink." We are more comfortable if we're holding something in our hands, right? Gives you something to do in those little awkward silences.

Number two, I would say scan the room. Is there someone else who's standing in the corner clutching their drink? That could be a real easy way to get an in, be like, "Hey, you're taking up my corner. You mind if I share it with you?" You can also approach small groups of people. You want to be an includer, not an intruder. So if there's a tight knit group, and it would be strange for you to suddenly walk in the middle of it, maybe avoid that one. But look for other small groups of people. You can start off by saying, "Hey, I don't think I've met you guys yet. Hey, do you mind if I join your conversation? I'm trying to meet a lot of people here, and I'm here by myself." I think being really honest and transparent with folks resonates because we've all felt that way as well. So, I think just kind of walking in and having the guts to say like, "Hey, I'm new here. I don't know anybody. Who do you think I should meet?"

 You could even talk to the organizers of the event. The chances are good. They are also very well connected. You could take them aside and be like, "Hey, who do you think I should meet? Who's on the board at SHSMD? Who's running this thing? I'd love to go thank them." Really great way to get started. And then from there, the wheels go.

Host: Absolutely. That is so true. Well, this has really been great. I know this is going to be a blockbuster session. Thank you for coming up with it. I think it's really an important one. Is there anything you want to add, Lindsay? Anything I didn't ask that you want to mention?

Lindsay Carrillo: I think my final thoughts would be do not pass on an opportunity to practice these skills. If you get invited to go somewhere, go. The more you do it, the easier it will be. And as much as I love LinkedIn, which I do, the connection you get from a shared memory, laughing, eating together, it cannot be duplicated in the digital space. You got to start with the person.

Host: Yep. Start with the person and that's where those meaningful relationships can start, even if it's a, "I would say if so." If you're somebody that's new to SHSMD and you're coming to this and you're like, I don't really know anybody. These are really great tips and finding session speakers, the organizers, people that really have stature in the industry, have been in healthcare marketing for years and years and years, and everybody talks about that person, feel free to go up and say hi. It doesn't hurt and introduce yourself. It can only be good things. I know I've met many people that have done that. And that person has become a mentor to them and somebody they can talk to or ask questions or pick up the phone and go, "Hey, I'm having trouble with this. How would you handle it?" That's why networking is so important. That person can help you up the ladder in your healthcare marketing career, and vice versa. Somebody coming up to you. If you're an established member, you can do the same for them too. So, these networking tips are really important. So Lindsay, thank you so much. we really appreciate it.

Lindsay Carrillo: Thank you.

Host: Absolutely. Once again, that is Lindsay Carrillo, and she is going to be presenting at this year's SHSMD Connections. Her session is going to be on Monday the 13th at 1:30. So make sure you come to SHSMD Connections and make sure you go see Lindsay. It's going to be a great session and you can get registered now at shsmd.org/education/annualconference. shsmd.org/education/annualconference. Make sure you do it now. Don't delay. And if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels, and please hit the subscribe or follow button to get every episode. And to access our full podcast library for other topics, great topics, chockfull of goodness, as I like to say, visit shsmd.org/podcasts. This has been a production of DoctorPodcasting. I'm Bill Klaproth. See ya!