Caitlin Whyte (Host): Today, we are going to be discussing dissociative identity disorder with someone who deals with this condition every day, a woman named Haley.

This is My Miracle Radio by Sierra Tucson Alumni Relations. I'm your host, Caitlin Whyte. Well, Haley, thank you so much for joining us on the show today and for sharing your story. Now, to start us off, can you tell us what exactly is dissociative identity disorder?

Haley: Yeah, absolutely. So, dissociative identity disorder used to be known as multiple personality disorder, but it's no longer called that because it's not a personality disorder per se. It is basically the first fragmentation of the person's self due to childhood trauma that's inescapable and ongoing, and it ends up where somebody has multiple selves that are often separated by amnesia. So, one self is not aware of the other self or vice versa until there's some healing that's been done.

Host: And when it comes to your journey, when did you learn that something was off?

Haley: There were signs along the way. I didn't actually find out I had it until I was 30. But up until then, the first time I noticed something was in sixth grade. I was walking home and I had this thought that sounded like somebody else in my head that said, "You're not like everyone else, but you're not ready to know why. We'll tell you sometime later on." And there were other things, like people would call me by different names, or they would know intimate details about my life, but I would have no idea who they were. But all of that happened throughout my life. And I just thought it was normal that that happened. I thought everybody experienced that.

Host: Right. And you mentioned you didn't learn you had this until you were 30. So, what started your healing then?

Haley: I went to trauma treatment when I was 30 years old. And when I got there, they did all of the assessments that you get when you first go to treatment, and they got my records from my prior providers and spoke to my prior providers, and came to me and said, "Haley, so we think that you have dissociative identity disorder." And I was like, "Nope. Nope, I don't. I absolutely do not." And I said, "How do you know?" And they said, "Well, we've talked to four of you already." I'm like, "Wait a second." So, that's when I found out.

Host: Well, it sounds like you've definitely gone through some healing, that you're able to talk about it and kind of joke about it in this matter. Tell us about the journey of your healing and, you know, how you dealt with any shame that might have came up and began to feel more empowered with your diagnosis.

Haley: Yeah, absolutely. So, the first thing I did was take full advantage of treatment. I've been to treatment a couple times for trauma. One was when I was 30. And then, again, when I was 35, I went to Sierra Tucson. And taking full advantage meant going to all my groups, you know, engaging in all the therapy, learning about the diagnosis. There is a lot of shame with this diagnosis because of all of the misconceptions regarding it. But what really helped to kind of dispel that shame was when I started bringing people into my life and creating my own tribe, with people that just said, "It's just more of you to love," people that didn't make me feel ashamed for having what I had. And that shame actually started to fall away when I saw so many people living in shame because of this. And I have the ability to public speak and to write. So, I came out on social media in 2022 and really found that people found value in somebody else who had it saying, "Hey, I have it too. And you can live a happy, healthy life with dissociative identity disorder."

Host: Absolutely. Well, I know that you wrote a book. What inspired you to write a whole book about your experiences? Tell us about that.

Haley: I did, absolutely. So, going back to seeing people live in shame and having DID, the other thing was seeing people that learned that I had DID and were so misinformed that they thought that people with DID were dangerous, or that it's a super rare disorder, a bunch of myths around dissociative identity disorder. And I was like, "Wait a second. I can write." I can write a book to dispel these myths and make it out as a memoir, but then have frequently asked questions so that people can really get a full idea of what this disorder looks like and what it looks like to live with it.

Host: Of course. And what's your book called and where can we find it?

Haley: Yeah, it's called Trigger Warning, and it's written under the pen name Annika Rose. And you can actually find it right on Amazon or on my website, which is annikarosecommunity.com, and Annika is with two N's.

Host: I love that. Thank you so much for sharing that. And as we wrap up here, Haley, I'd love to know, you mentioned just all of these kind of myths and misperceptions that folks may have about dissociative identity disorder, and we've gone through some of them, but what would you like folks to know about having this disorder and maybe some of the myths that are the most common that you hear that are just wrong?

Haley: Yeah, absolutely. So, the main ones are what we had already discussed about DID being dangerous. Hollywood makes it very, very, very stigmatized. There's not much media that actually shows the reality that this is caused by childhood trauma, that this the brain's really creative reaction and ability to survive insurmountable odds.

And one of the funny myths is that people with DID shouldn't be able to drive because you may have a younger part that comes out while you're driving. And I can drive. I have no problem driving. There are some people with DID that are not able to drive and that's totally understandable. But that's one of the most humorous ones that gets asked all the time.

Host: Well, glad to hear you are out and about and on the road still. And just as a closing question, is there anything that I didn't ask about, anything we didn't touch on that you would love people to know about when it comes to dissociative identity disorder?

Haley: I think just what people can do to support their loved ones or their friends with DID. DID is between one and four percent of the population. So, it's definitely not rare. It's actually more equal to or more prevalent than bipolar disorder. So, there's a lot of people that have this. And if you find out that you have somebody in your life that has dissociative identity disorder and you're wondering what you can do to help, just ask them. Don't try to preempt or predict what they need. Just say, "Hey, I love you. I want to support you. What's the best way that I can do that? What do you need from me in order to feel seen, heard, and understood?"

Host: Some great advice there, Haley. Thank you so much for joining us and for sharing. We appreciate it.

Haley: Absolutely. Thank you so much.

Host: This has been My Miracle Radio by Sierra Tucson Alumni Relations. For more information, please visit sierratucson.com. I'm Caitlin Whyte. Thank you so much for listening.