Nolan Alexander (Host): Welcome to the podcast from the specialists at Southwest General Health Center. I'm Nolan. And today, we're here with Reverend Erin Guzmán and hospice volunteer coordinator, Stephanie Maricic, from Southwest General Hospice. And we're talking beyond hospice care, supporting patients, families, and each other through compassion, grief, and importantly, volunteer service. So Erin and ,Stephanie, how are you today?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: Doing well. Thanks, Nolan.

Stephanie Maricic: Well, thanks for having us.

Host: It's certainly our pleasure. And first, can you each briefly share your role with Southwest General Hospice and how your work supports patients and their families?

Stephanie Maricic: My role supports patients and families by recruiting, training, and coordinating volunteers that provide companionship, emotional support, and respite for caregivers. By ensuring the volunteers are well-prepared and matched to patient needs, I help enhance their quality of life, reduce isolation, and extend the compassionate care that our hospice team provides.

Rev. Erin Guzmán: So, my role touches on many of the same things that Stephanie shared. She coordinates volunteers. I do a lot of the direct work myself with patients and families. I'm the hospice chaplain, and I oversee both our spiritual care and our bereavement support services. Both of these things are optional to patients and families, but they are there to let folks know that whatever their needs might be in the way of emotional, spiritual, other kinds of support, that we have mechanisms to do that. Spiritual care often looks like providing a supportive presence rather than a particular kind of theological perspective, but I also utilize the help of volunteer chaplains who come from a variety of backgrounds that sit with patients, pray with them, and offer a supportive presence as well.

Host: That's wonderful to hear the service from both of you. For me, as someone who's had grandfathers in hospice care, I've changed my understanding on this subject. So when people hear the word hospice, I know for me, they often think about just end-of-life medical care, and that's not quite exactly what it is. So, what do you wish more people understood about the emotional, spiritual, and the human side of hospice?

Stephanie Maricic: I wish more people understood that hospice is not about giving up. It is about helping people live as fully and comfortable as possible for whatever time they have left. While hospice does provide expert medical care, it is equally focused on the emotional, spiritual, and human needs of patients and families.

Rev. Erin Guzmán: I completely agree. I think hospice is about acknowledging that death is a part of the universal human experience. It's not about giving up. It's not about failure. Our bodies naturally break down and decline. That experience of having to see that decline and offer care can still be done with dignity and with compassion. And that death doesn't have to be a scary thing. It can be something that still brings people together, provides connection and support well after the time of someone's death.

Host: That's really interesting, Reverend Guzmán. And I have some questions, I want to explore that. When families are going through hospice, grief can begin well before a loved one passes away. So, what does bereavement support look like during that time?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: There's a lot of different kinds of grief that one can experience and express before time of death. There's a thing called anticipatory grief, which means that at the time before someone passes, maybe when they receive the terminal diagnosis or when it really starts to hit home that this loss is coming, that's when people can start to sort of grieve ahead of the actual death. We grieve all the time, and it's not just about people. It's about missed or lost opportunities. You can grieve things that never really existed, but that you had put a lot of your hopes and dreams and energy into.

So when it comes to bereavement support, sometimes folks are navigating that anticipatory loss of the person, but they're also grieving the loss of the role that that person had in their life, if it's a parent or someone who is kind of the glue of the family. Sometimes there's material loss if you have to sell a childhood home in order to then get the funds to pay for your loved one's care. There's all different kinds of secondary losses that come with that sort of initial moment of knowing that this person is terminal and that they will eventually pass.

And then, you have all of the emotional complexity on top of that. What was your relationship to this person? How did they shape you? Is there anger associated with this person? So, all of that can get really, really tricky when it comes to grief. But bereavement support is often just acknowledging how hard all of that is, that all of those forms of grief and loss are valid, and that if there's any sort of difficulty associated with the loss, that that's normal. It's normal for it to be hard. It might not come all at once, and initially it may happen over weeks, months, years. But bereavement is to help people understand what happens in the brain and in the body when you're grieving. And what are some tools and strategies that you can use to navigate some of those really challenging things.

Host: Gosh. Those are some heavy, heavy emotions that people are dealing with. And I'm thinking back when I was a part of the process, and there's fear, there's sadness, of course, uncertainty, and I had some spiritual questions too. But you said normal being hard. Like, going through this is difficult, and that's normal. So, how does that come into play, and how do you help patients and families process this spectrum of emotions?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: I think for me, what's important as a chaplain is knowing that I'm not going to have a satisfactory answer. In times of death and dying, people are looking for the whys, especially if you're a person of faith in the Christian tradition. You know, if you believe in an all-loving and all-powerful God, then why do bad things happen? Why do people suffer and get sick and die? And a lot of people are looking to spiritual professionals for the answer. And the reality is there is no satisfactory answer.

People have been arguing over this question for thousands of years. And I certainly, in the year 2026, do not have a satisfactory way to answer that question. But I think a chaplain is someone who can still show up in those moments of ambiguity and complexity and uncertainty and, again, validate the emotions that are being felt. And also say that if there are particular things that bring comfort in times of uncertainty, what are the resources that we can lean on that help us get back to the ground rather than kind of floating out here in space and feeling very untethered?

Again, my goal is not to tell people what to think or how to feel, but to hold the space for and with them so that whatever it is that they're feeling, that that can be validated as real and natural and human, because it is.

Host: Reverend, that is a very difficult topic to wrestle with. You ended that answer though, and you talked about resources. So when I think of resources along these lines, what role can rituals, prayer, reflection, or just simply having someone present like yourself play in the grieving process?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: As a minister, I'm sort of expected to say as part of my job that rituals and prayer and all this stuff is really good and helpful. And I do believe that it is. I think part of how I got into this work is because, in my own life, having experienced a lot of death personally and having to sit with people professionally, I do think that the familiar patterns and habits that spiritual and religious communities have already sort of named and claimed can be really, really useful. There are cultures all around the world that have very robust and distinct practices that treat death as something to be honored rather than to be feared. And so, I think that can provide a lot of inspiration.

But I also know that sometimes the feelings cannot be ailed or the hurt can't be covered up by words or actions alone. And so, I think rituals and prayer and practice almost inevitably have to be coupled with community. You have to have people who can help affirm and give resonance to those prayers, those practices. Otherwise, they're just sort of robotic things that we do of habit. I don't know that they're always as effective if you do them just by yourself.

So even if a person doesn't have a specific tradition, that doesn't mean that ritual can't be important. but I do think that there's a very human part of the ritual that has to be at play as well.

Host: So Reverend Guzmán, what would you say for someone that feels just paralyzed, they feel overwhelmed by the amount of grief? What would be a recommendation as a gentle first step to take in that situation?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: First and foremost, you got to breathe. Remember to breathe. Sometimes our bodies, when we get stressed, when we get angry, we hold things in our chest, we hold them in our shoulders, in our head. Our bodies have a physiological response to grief and trauma. In order to crack the pressure release valve, you got to breathe it out.

And then, also move. Don't hold in the emotions. Don't simply sit or lay in bed. Move your body, hydrate. Make sure that you're covering sort of your daily hygiene needs and really just tending to yourself on that kind of primal instinct first. Everything else will come in time, but you got to remember to breathe and drink water.

Host: I'm glad you said that. And that's something that I didn't think. And conidering this interview, right, and this subject, I wouldn't think about that as recommendations for others. So, thank you for saying that. Just one more question here before we bring Stephanie back in. So, just to wrap it up, what would you want families to know about grief, especially when every other family might be processing it completely differently?

Rev. Erin Guzmán: Yeah. That's a great question, and that's something that we see a lot in hospice is how family dynamics play out leading up to and at time of death. Families are complicated, no matter if grief is involved or not. And so, I think oftentimes grief can be an amplifier of feelings and tensions that already exist within the family system.

So, you kind of have to go into this season of grieving as a family with a lot more awareness and care than perhaps previously. Don't expect everyone to grieve the same way that you are. And be realistic that everyone is not going to cry or feel or display different expressions of grief publicly or at all.

The last thing that I would say is no one is a mind reader. You have to articulate what you need and what you don't need. Boundary setting is a really important part of grieving. You can't take other people setting boundaries personally. You just have to sort of respect and acknowledge where they are.

And then, at some point, you know, you can come back, and figure out things together. But grieving is an incredibly individual and personal experience. So, just be mindful of that.

Host: Reverend Guzmán, thank you so much. And it is apparent there is such a wide scope of care at Southwest General Hospice, and with that is a massive team of volunteers. Stephanie Maricic, you have, from what I understand, 75 volunteers on your team. What kind of roles do they play in supporting patients and their families?

Stephanie Maricic: Well, first of all, I'm very proud of all of our volunteers that we have. You don't volunteer at hospice unless you have the heart and desire to do that. It takes special, special people to be here. But we have a lot of variety of different volunteer opportunities.

We have greeters that are the first face of hospice when patients and families come in. They're shown where to go, what rooms their family members may be in, where the coffee is, the restrooms, that kind of thing. We have hands-on volunteers that directly work with patients and the nurses. They offer warm blankets, help with feeding, companionship. Along with that, with Reverend Guzmán, spiritual care volunteers that work with patients and families. We have bereavement volunteers that make phone calls to families after their loved one passes, sending cards, letters, that kind of thing. Clerical volunteers that help the office staff answer phones, make pamphlets, a lot of variety in the clerical volunteers.

We do honor veterans who are patients. We offer veteran salutes. So, we have veteran volunteers that will go into the patients who are veterans and thank them for their service. They get beautiful afghans that were crocheted that are all different from our Precious Pals. They get pins and flags, and they get a big ceremony of thanks for their service.

We have a lot of variety of volunteers here. We do have an outpatient population of patients, and we have volunteers that will go into homes and visit with the patients or offer respite if the caregiver needs to go to the bank or, you know, do some errands and that kind of thing. So, there's a plethora of different volunteer opportunities that we do have here at our hospice facility.

Host: No shortage of personal touches when it comes to your volunteer group, from the cards, the letters, crocheting blankets, the visits. Why do those personal gestures matter so much in hospice care?

Stephanie Maricic: Well, that's a great question. Personal gestures matter. They remind patients and families that they are seen as people and not just patients. In hospice, where so much can feel uncertain or overwhelming, acts of kindness create comfort, connection, and a sense of being cared for on a deeply human level. A crocheted blanket is more than just a blanket. It represents time, thoughtfulness, and love from someone who wanted to bring comfort to another person. And sometimes what patients need most is not medical treatment, but someone that will sit with them and offer, you know, a caring ear and listen, maybe hold their hand, let them know that they're not alone.

Host: Stephanie, I hear that. And I feel like it's just natural to gravitate and say that I want to be that person that volunteers to help people when they're in these situations. But there's also a part of me that's maybe a little bit nervous about it. So, what would you say to someone who's thinking about becoming a hospice volunteer, but they feel some nerves or anxiety about it?

Stephanie Maricic: I would tell them that feeling nervous is completely normal. Many of our best volunteers started with the same concerns, wondering what to say, whether they would be emotionally strong enough, or if they could really make a difference. And the good news is that hospice volunteers are never expected to have all the answers. They're not there to fix anything or to take away someone's illness.

Often the greatest gift a volunteer can offer is a listening ear, a caring conversation, or quiet companionship. They become part of a team, and they're never alone in the experience. I would also tell them that hospice volunteering is not only about death, but it's about life, helping people find comfort, connection and dignity and meaning. Volunteers come away feeling that they have received as much as they have given through the relationships they build and the perspectives they gain.

Host: That's incredible. So to wrap it up here, Erin, I wanna bring you back in. Question for both of you. For someone who just wants to support a grieving friend or a family member, what's one helpful thing they can say or do?

Stephanie Maricic: One of the most helpful things a person can do is simply show up and be present. Grief can feel incredibly isolating, and many people worry about saying the wrong thing. It's also helpful to offer specific support rather than general, "Let me know if you need anything." For example, "I'd like to bring dinner over on Thursday. Can I help pick groceries up for you next week?" Specific offers are often easier for a grieving person to accept.

Rev. Erin Guzmán: Yeah, I echo all of that, that Stephanie shared. And I think I would also add to resist the impulse to say anything at all, because it's oftentimes when people have the intention of saying something helpful, that they end up saying something really hurtful instead. And so, regardless of what your relationship is to the grieving person, you don't know how they feel, you don't know that their loved one is in a "better place" or that everything happens for a reason.

And if there's one thing that I can impress upon listeners is that I would strongly urge you to not say under any circumstance that a loved one dying was part of "God's plan." That can be really kind of weaponizing spirituality against someone who's grieving.

And to feel angry at God is very, very normal. But saying that a death is a part of God's plan may actually create a lot of anger and resentment in someone that's already hurting. So, I would err on the side of physically showing up, offering tangible support, and just say less.

Host: I appreciate the intentionality from you both in giving specific advice there. So, I'll ask one more. Is there just one message that you hope listeners take away about hospice, bereavement, and the role of volunteers?

Stephanie Maricic: If there is one message that I hope listeners take away, it is that hospice is about living, not giving up. Hospice, bereavement services, and volunteers all work together to ensure that no one has to face death, the end of life, or grief that follows alone. It's a wonderful team that works together, and we're all here to support patients and families in any way possible.

Rev. Erin Guzmán: That's right, Stephanie. I would hope that folks hear from us and from others who work in hospice that it isn't scary to face and to acknowledge death, and it can actually be very sacred, meaningful work to care for someone at the end of their life, and to also care for their families. We are whole people, and that includes death.

We all are born, we all will die, and acknowledging that and not being afraid of it, I think is a really special gift. And so, I hope that people hear that the care and the dignity that we provide in hospice is unique, and that it can be really wonderful.

Host: I just feel so much better and more informed from hearing from you both today. Stephanie and Aaron, thank you so much for your time.

Stephanie Maricic: Thank you, Nolan.

Rev. Erin Guzmán: Thanks for having us.

Host: That was Reverend Guzmán and Stephanie Maricic, hospice volunteer coordinator with Southwest General Hospice. To request an appointment or to learn more with Reverend Guzmán or Stephanie Maricic, you can visit swgeneral.com. If you found this episode to be helpful, consider sharing us on your social channels and check out our full podcast library for topics of interest to you. And this has been another episode of Southwest General Health Talk.