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Bill Klaproth: (Host) So, how can you manage your child's formal education during times of remote learning? And what about the stress and isolation it puts on children and the adults in their life? Well, let's learn more with Dr. Sreya Hessler, owner, and director of the Mindset Center. She is trained in cognitive-behavioral and applied behavioral therapy for the treatment of children, adolescents, and adults. This is the Healthy Hero Podcast from UM Upper Chesapeake Health. I'm Bill Klaproth. Dr. Hessler, thank you so much for your time. It is great to talk with you. So, first off, what are you hearing from kids today about their perspective on COVID-19 and their education and how are they coping generally?

Dr. Sreya Hessler: (Guest) Most often I'm hearing from kids that they are excited about the upcoming school year. They are excited about whatever structure they're able to get and looking forward to meeting teachers and learning new material, no matter what format they will be invited to learn in this fall, and what I'm seeing more, actually more so from our kids, that our parents is that, they're really resilient and open to whatever modality, put in front of them.

Host: So it sounds like they're adapting well.

Dr. Hessler: Overall. Yes. I think, with the school year starting kids are really excited about change. Most kids will enjoy summer vacation when they can have it or a summer holiday. But I think they're looking forward to some predictability some engagement with other adults and other kids outside of their home.

Host: That is good news. Very good to hear. So then on the flip side, you said kids are adapting pretty well. Parents then are worried though and often feel guilty about their ability to manage remote learning while trying to telework or having to delegate that duty to others. Because as health care workers, they need to be on-site to work. What advice do you have for them?

Dr. Hessler: The biggest thing that I've been sharing with particular essential workers is that this is going to be an ongoing process. Changes are being made almost daily, with school systems trying to adapt with new information from the CDC and from state and federal guidelines. it's certainly going to be flexible, I think, moving forward. So I think it's important for families in this position to think about what. the most pressing logistical concerns are for creating a learning environment for their children and keeping in mind what the needs are for parents and for families to be able to keep their income going and to keep their workload going. So once you've decided on what, format your children are going to be engaged in learning whether that's coming from a hybrid of learning from home and learning it in an outside of home environment. Or all of one or all of the other, it's really helpful to think about what you have that is predictable. So thinking about how your child will be set up, what learning environment it will look like, and having them test it out for the first day of school, so you can get out all the kinks ahead of time. So thinking about not just a desk set up, how does the child Feel when they're sitting in that, area, what are they comfortable with what are they not comfortable with? And that helps us to manage what we know our kids can handle while we're thinking about all the other roles that we have to play as parents. As for parental guilt, I get it, and I tell families, parents all the time, you're not alone, I'm a parent myself. I've been saying often, we're still in emergency education and so there is no perfect pandemic academic plan. Telling families, almost daily in my practice, start with what, you know, you have control over and build in where you can. And making sure that you're always managing your expectations and know that flexibility is, in mindset is really key.

Host: Yeah, that is really good advice. And that's the first time I've heard that term emergency education. And I think that is so fitting. So some great advice, Dr. Hessler for parents, try to establish a routine and make sure you can build in that predictability wherever you can. And then I'm sure parents are also worried that their child will fall behind this year if they cannot home school or be present for distant learning. What's your thoughts on that?

Dr. Hessler: Yeah, I hear that a lot in just my dialogue with other parents and also in my practice. we were talking about before, the emergency education. This term that I talked about. This is a national crisis that we're experiencing. So it's important that we all remind ourselves of that. Our kids will learn. The academics will come. My biggest concern is about our children's availability to learn, and that comes from beyond a classroom. It starts with really making sure that we as adults engage in really good self-care and model healthy coping mechanisms for our kids. anxious kids come from anxious parents. And so they see us frazzled and not knowing what doing or act like we don't know what we're doing. They will model after that. So start with meeting kids, where they are. And when we Thinking about falling behind. often ask families will falling behind who, because we're all in this together. And yes, there are discrepancies across the national board, but if we're thinking about presenting our children with the most optimal learning environment, it comes from connection. So the biggest concern I have is are we connecting with our kids? When you have the choice between teaching an academic skill, that you think your child might be falling behind it or rusty in or spending quality time playing a board game or, doing some pretend, play with a younger child, always choose. The time, the quality time, because when kids get grounded and they feel common, they feel safe. They're more open to learning and they're more, malleable, and available to learn in different formats. Those are pieces of information that I Oftentimes when families say, I feel like my child is going to fall behind do you know, just sharing that greater connection in that dialogue and letting them know, Hey, we're just gonna do the best that we can, and we're going to take things in small steps. But then everybody's going through it, I think will help not just our kids, but us as parents feel grounded.

Host: That's a really good thought. So think of that quality time is you said, which helps kids get grounded and helps them feel safe. So that kind of speaks to the mental health and stress the kids are going through during this transition. What should parents be looking for if they do have concerns about their child's mental health and stress during this emergency education period, as you call it?

Dr. Hessler: For kids, obviously, we're talking about a large age range, so children who are as young as three, four, five, they will present very differently than an adolescent might because they're much more able to verbally disclose how they're feeling. So for young kids, I often tell families, look for, maybe enter the age of five, look for changes or sudden changes in difficulty separating from, a primary caregiver or a loved one. Look for sematic symptoms in young children as well. Oftentimes I tell parents that children will report stomach issues, GI issues, nausea, bathroom-related issues related to their stress and their anxiety. Sometimes we're looking for also a lack of interest in activities they would typically enjoy and so if you're looking at a child who has difficulty coloring, or playing outside or engaging with siblings and other friends where they typically would not have a difficult time doing it, that would be a cause for concern. For older children, I often look for sleep disturbances and sudden changes in appetite. And then also the same thing, as I mentioned before, just a loss of interest in doing the things they typically enjoy doing those are usually red flags that they might need some support from outside the family for some help.

Host: Yeah, that's a good list of warning signs or red flags as you call them that we should look for as parents. And then last question, Dr. Hessler and thank you for your time. So for a parent listening to this podcast, what are things parents can do starting today to help their children?

Dr. Hessler: Great question. The first thing we need to make sure we're telling our kids, but also ourselves, is that when we're putting together any kind of plan or preparation for this upcoming school year, I say this in my own home and I encourage families to say this all the time. This is not forever. This is for now. So when we present a child or a family with a schedule of Rubrik, et cetera, we just have to remind them that this is what it looks like today and for now, and it will likely change, but when we know more information, we'll tell you more information. Other practical things that we want to make sure our kids are doing in the days preceding the start of school is get them on a good sleep routine. Limit their electronic access, especially in the hours preceding bed. For young kids, but also for older kids, making sure we put together a visual schedule that kind of builds in that predictability. So things as simple as this is the time you're going to get up in the morning, and this is when you're going to log in to this class, or this is when you're going to leave for your daycare, et cetera. And then, giving some sense of the schedule or predictability so kids have an idea of what to expect. I was certainly in the days preceding the start of school, invite them to have a say what their remote learning process and environment looks like. Let them choose whenever they can. So simple things from choosing notebooks and choosing folder colors to, even just the actual environment of what makes sense for them and what's comfortable and having them practice sitting in that space and seeing what feels comfortable with giving you feedback so you can adjust appropriately. The first day of school should not be the first time a child sits in his or her learning environment. And when you ask them how they're feeling, make sure you're validating it. They're entitled to have all the feelings right now and so it's important that when they say how they're feeling nervous or feeling stressed we let them know we get it. we understand where they're coming from. And the last thing that I would say really importantly, something I've noticed over the course of the past couple of months. There are students in our area that are going back to school for either hybrid or full in person. And most kids have not worn a mask for a prolonged period of time. So they might go to the grocery store and we were at for a half an hour, but certainly not for three, four, five, six hours. My recommendation is do some masks desensitization in the days, proceeding school have kids wear the masks when they're watching television or playing on a video game for an hour or two or three, let them choose the masks that feel most comfortable for them so that when they go into an environment where they're required to wear a mask for a long period of time, they're used to it. It's one less battle you have to face starting day one with school.

Host: Yeah. Great advice about mask-wearing and I love what you said, this is not forever this is for now. That is a great quote and really sums this whole situation up. Dr. Hessler, this has really been informative. You've given us a lot of great information and advice. We really appreciate it. And thank you so much for your time. Thank you again.

Dr. Hessler: Thanks for having me.

Host: That's Dr. Sreya Hessler. And for more information, please visit umuch.org/hero. And if you found this podcast helpful, please share it on your social channels and check out the full podcast library for topics of interest to you. This is the Healthy Hero Podcast from UM Upper Chesapeake Health. Thanks for listening.