Iris Clark (Host): Hi, everyone. It's Iris Clark, your host of For the Girls podcast by the Valentina Campaign, where we help young women and girls embrace their own beauty, inner self, and discuss all the juicy topics about growing up, self confidence, and so much more. So today, I'm so excited to welcome Keeley Hardy and Dani Hickman to the For the Girls podcast. Thank you both so much for being here. And I'm so excited to talk with you both more, get to know all your background, all this stuff. I'm really excited to be here. So first I just want to start off and I want each of you to kind of give us a little bio about yourself, you know, anything you want to talk about, that's all about you. I want to know it. So Keeley, you can start if you want, and then Dani can go second.

Keeley Hardy: Okay, so I'm Keeley. I am originally from Chicago. My family moved to Charleston when I was a sophomore in high school, so that was a huge transition, you know, moving to like a completely different state, different time zone, everything, demographic, culture in high school, it's a huge transition, a huge culture shock.

I was a tennis player. I played college tennis. So Dani and I, that's what we share in common is we both played college sports. So that's kind of how we formed our little friendship. And then I ended up going to college up in Boston. Because I wanted to be an accountant or a lawyer. Changed very quickly. And I transferred to the College of Charleston to become an event planner, hospitality, marketing, graphic design. And now I am back up in Boston, living full time, working as an event planner. And I absolutely love it. That's really it. I really am not great at talking about myself.

Host: No, that perfect. That was perfect. I loved hearing it. Dani?

Dani Hickman: I'm Dani. going to be really bad at this guys.

Host: No, you've got it. You got it.

Dani Hickman: Um, I'm born and raised in Boston. I grew up playing sports my whole entire life. I played field hockey, ice hockey, and lacrosse growing up, and that was really what got me through school and really made me the person I am today.

I attended Connecticut College where I played field hockey and graduated in 2020. After graduating, I moved to New York City and worked for an event planner and then moved back to Boston to be closer to family and friends, and same with Keeley, also in the event sphere. So, love Boston, one of my favorite cities by far, and yeah, excited to be here.

Host: Okay, awesome. I loved hearing about both of you guys, kind of your background, you know, sports, all that stuff. Super cool, and I love, I love just hearing the background on the friendships because it's so fun. I'd love to hear, like, kind of your origin story, if you want to tell us how you met, or even just, how you kind of built your friendship, because I can tell you guys are super close, and like you guys have such a fun little relationship, so I'd love to hear, like, how you built it. I can tell it's a healthy friendship, so we want to hear all about how you built that, and kind of like, your origin story.

Dani Hickman: I feel like this is going to be the movie from Proposal when they tell the different stories on how they met. Keeley, you're going have one story and I'm gonna have different story, Keeley, you go first.

Keeley Hardy: I think like how Dani and I met is like one of those situations that happens to like a lot of people in their twenties, you know, you're navigating a new job, you're dealing with so many different things. Anxiety is everything and unfortunately, not unfortunately, because our past job was the best thing that could ever happen to us because we were able to meet each other, but it was just like a bad situation.

So we worked for a company and we were both hired around the same time. We were like assigned projects. We really like kind of got into a vibe with one another. We're like, well, let's hang outside of work. And so we kind of just like grew our relationship outside of work, but also had like work in common, and then from there, I don't know,

Dani Hickman: We really started off as work friends, and we joke that like whenever people ask us, they're like, Oh, how did you guys meet? We're like, work, but we're not work friends, we're real friends. It's kind of like our ongoing joke.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah. know, we'd always be like, are we going to progress into friends? But, the company that, and I've talked to other girls here in Boston and my other friends that are in different cities too, like, in your 20s, it's so difficult to start a new job, balance friends, like, balance all these different aspects in your life. And the last job that Dani and I had, and I'm not speaking for her, but it wasn't the best, like, for mental health, for anything. Like, you had no social life, my entire life was work, so it, like, really helped. I think that's why Dani and I are so close now, is because, like, we leaned on each other so much during those times, and, like relied on one another to like pick each other up and like boost each other, because you would, your confidence would go down, like, your morale would go down, and like we had to really lean on one another in order to like get through it, and now we're both onto bigger and better things, but I think that definitely like made our relationship stronger.

Host: Oh, I love that. I love that you guys kind of started like together. You were kind of at a low moment in that job, but

Keeley Hardy: We were in a deep, deep valley.

Host: It's so great that you guys found each other in that, but now you're still friends and you're doing much better. I hope that you're doing much better in your like new jobs now. And you're still friends, which can sometimes be hard. It's like when you meet someone at like a low moment sometimes if you both don't kind of get boosted up after that it can be kind of hard to still connect, but you guys obviously are still so close. So I'd kind of love to hear how your friendship has developed since then if you have anything, any thoughts on that?

Dani Hickman: I mean, I think from the get go, like, our friendship at first was really built upon work and being there for each other, supporting each other, when things went right, when things went wrong. The event industry, of course, is a really amazing industry to be in and you're going to be thrown curveballs all the time.

So, you're constantly challenged and we were constantly challenged and had to be there for each other. And then, really, I think just it's crazy to think that it's only been, it hasn't even been, or actually we had our year anniversary, so it's been a year August, right?

Keeley Hardy: About a year and five months.

Dani Hickman: Which is so crazy though, because I feel like we've known each other our whole lives, but I think it's just been interesting to see over these past couple months, how our friendship has really developed and we really have learned to be there for each other. We've been through a lot, both of us these past couple months with friends, relationships, work, mental health. Lots of different things have been thrown our way, and I think it's really kind of tested our relationship, but is why our relationship is so strong right now.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah, and I'll like add on to that by saying, your 20s can be so lonely too because there's not really like a game plan for it, right? Like there's not a rule book, like everyone has their own journey. Everyone's doing their own thing. And so you can sometimes feel super lonely. And so, you know, I've gone through difficult times in the past, I'm you know, past year that I've known Dani, she's also gone through difficult times and like, we've gone like a couple of weeks without seeing each other. Not because we are mad, just because like schedules conflicting. But we would always like, if she was sad, it was just like, I'm here for you. Like, I'll listen to what you need. And like, I think that's really important is to find someone in your life, like a friend where like, even if they're not physically there, they just send like that one little text saying like, I'll be at your low with you and I'll be at the high with you too, like I'll be in the trenches with you, and then I'll soar the mountains with you, like, and I think that's so hard in college you obviously make great friends in college, and I stand by that, but, you know, Dani and I both had similar situations in college, like, we had friends through sports and everything, but after I graduated, all of my friends kind of like I'm still in touch with some of them, but for the most part, they all fizzled out.

It's so important in your 20s to find that friend where, like, you don't have to be together 24/7, even though Dani and I spend a lot of time together. Yeah, you know, have that person where you can be like, I'm having a bad day and they're like, I got you, like, I'm here for you. I think that goes such a long way just to like know you're not alone.

Host: Yes, I love what you both said about your guy's friendship and how, you know, you can both have your lows at different times, but you can still kind of keep your friendship so strong because you check in with each other and you keep it constant, and even with the ebbs and flows, like keeping your friendship constant is definitely a good way to go, and I loved hearing about that. It's so awesome.

Keeley Hardy: I mean, she might ride or die, I

Host: I love

Dani Hickman: You're stuck with me.

Keeley Hardy: Till death do us part, baby.

Host: I love that. No, I love hearing super close female friendships that are just really strong, like yours. I love that. So you guys kind of both talked about having some ups and downs in the last year or so, as you guys have been friends. If you guys feel comfortable, I'd love if you guys shared some of the challenges you faced being in your 20s. It can be relating to confidence, mental health, like your jobs, whatever. I'd just love to hear some challenges that you faced and maybe even how you overcame some of them, if you'd like to share.

Dani Hickman: Yeah, I think for me, the big one is mental health. I'm someone who I'm extremely open about my mental health. It's something I've struggled with since a young age, and I really think, in a way, everyone has some sort of mental health. It's just how you really talk about it, and I've been someone who I really like to talk about it, and I want people to know because a lot of people see me and they think, Oh, she's so happy and so smiley, but they don't realize sometimes that there's more going on behind the surface.

So, I think just navigating that in your 20s, of course, when you're out, when you're working, and you're similar to like what Keeley said, you kind of really realize who your true friends are when you're in your 20s. And I think a lot has changed for me as I used to have a bigger group of friends and now I have like three core friends.

And I think sometimes you can get self conscious about, oh, you don't have that many friends, but really what it comes down to is those relationships are way stronger than the relationships you have with a bigger group of girls.

Host: That is, like, the most true thing, like, I've ever heard. I think, for me, I'm just now entering my 20s, and I feel like I have been so used to having so many friends.

Dani Hickman: Way to make me feel old.

Host: Sorry! I am so sorry.

Dani Hickman: It's okay, I just turned 26. I tell everyone I'm 24.

Host: So fair. But yeah, I think for all girls, it feels like having the most friends is what's important. It's, like being the popular one with all the friends, but I think that that is draining. That is just the truth. It's draining and you don't feel that connection with your core friends if you have so many that you're trying to manage. So I love that you said that about having your core group of girls and

Dani Hickman: And with social media these days, too. Like, I know, I'm personally, Keeley and I, between the two of us, we're not big social media girls, and I know so many people who it's like their life is social media, and I don't feel the need to post on social media because I'm enjoying my moments and I don't feel like I need to show everyone those moments all the time, to make people know that I'm enjoying life and I'm enjoying and doing cool things and meeting new people and traveling. It's more fun to share that with Keeley or my friends.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah, I always joke too, like if I was in high school, because when I was in high school, you know, social media like was non existent. Basically, I didn't get Snapchat until like my end of my senior year and it still wasn't a big thing. If I had Snapchat and Instagram and all of that in high school or like middle school, I would have been an absolute wreck.

Like, I can't even imagine what these high schoolers and these middle schoolers are up against. Because, you know, I struggle with so many insecurities, too. Like, I compare myself to other people that are like excelling in their careers or this and that. I've found that, you know, recently it's been more like about a financial comparison, like, not in that sense, but like career financial, like I want to be able to like, be like, financially independent.

I see all these other people that, you know, have these great, big, full time jobs, and I'm constantly comparing myself, or like on social media, people are taking these elaborate trips and stuff, and you just have to like, remember, my mom was always so good about preaching this to us when we were little, it's like, you're writing your own book, you're on your own journey, like, what is best for you will come, and you can't compare yourself to other people, but I mean, I'm victim to it now, like, I can scroll on TikTok. Dani doesn't have TikTok, let's just shout out.

Dani Hickman: Thank God. If I did, I would be addicted to it.

Host: I preach that.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah, I'll fall down the rabbit hole and I'll see people my age that are up at 5am, you know, they're working out, they're eating three meals a day. Then they're going to like, and I'm not at that place in my life right now, where like, I have that motivation to get up at 5am to go work out and do all of these things, but that's because like, I've had a huge career shock and I'm still trying to get back on my feet and that is okay. And back to the whole social media thing is like, I compare myself to that stuff and I can only imagine if I was in high school right now and had access to what all these girls have access to, I'd be a wreck.

 When I was a freshman in high school, let's just put it on the podcast, okay? I would come home from high school, freshman year in high school, this chubby girl, go upstairs to the playroom. I would whip out my dolls. I'd play with my dolls. I would do those stupid dance videos. But now these girls that are freshmen in high school, they look better than me. They have a full like drunk elephant skincare routine. And I'm just happy if I wash my face with like, my shampoo.

I

Dani Hickman: didn't even know what makeup was, honestly.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah! Yeah! I'm just like, what is happening? What is happening?

Host: No, I get that. Oh my God, my sister says the same thing. She's always like, when I was in high school, she'd be like, how do you know all this stuff? Like when I was in high school I just like didn't ever get it and I was like, I wish I didn't. Like I wish this wasn't in the forefront of my brain like with social media and all of these different comparison factors, it just is like, you see so much every single day of other people's lives, you can't help but think about your own versus theirs, and honestly, I can't imagine for girls in middle school and high school now, like, how much worse it must be with TikTok and stuff, cause it's just so much content you're absorbing every day that can be so overwhelming, so.

Keeley Hardy: My god, it can take a toll on you, like from mental health to body insecurity, like literally, you name it, it throws it in your face and it, it just blows my mind when it comes, like the world we live in when it comes to social media. It is absolutely sad, it's just like, it's devastating.

Host: It's such a hard part about growing up for girls now, I feel like that it's just like you can't take it away from them because it's such a big part of our culture and it's how you connect with a lot of people and connect with your friends that it's like maintaining that healthy relationship with it can be so hard.

So kind of along this line, you guys have such like great thoughts on all this. I'd love to see if you guys have any like advice. If you were telling a younger girl in middle school or high school or even who a girl who's going into their 20s, what piece of advice would you give them?

Dani Hickman: I mean, right off the bat, I actually don't even keep Instagram downloaded on my phone. Which I know is extremely rare, because a lot of people do, but I have an Instagram account, I will post every now and then, I will download it every now and then and check it. But I don't keep it on my phone 24/7, because I know if I did, I would constantly be looking at it, I would constantly be seeing what other people are out doing, and comparing myself, and that's not the life I want to live. And I think the biggest piece of advice I could give someone is just to always be yourself, and never be afraid to be, be you. Like, this is a very scary world we live in where there's so many expectations of what women and girls are supposed to be like and being your own person is so hard, but like being able to just be you is so important and I think a lot of times, especially in college, you can get caught up in the cool girls and the trends and all that, and you can lose yourself.

And to be honest, I lost myself in college. Looking back at college me, I do not like that person. But the person I am now is so different, and I'm really proud of that person. So, I think just to be kind to yourself, cause honestly, you're going to change and you're going to go through things. And Keeley and I, like maybe one day we're in a good mood and we're having so much fun and we're dancing at bars. And then the next day we're having like a little game night. Like you really just need to do what you got to do to make yourself happy.

Keeley Hardy: I'll say one thing, Dani, you should be very proud of yourself. I'm very proud of you.

Dani Hickman: Thank you.

Keeley Hardy: I think, like, something and a piece of advice that I'd give to a younger girl would be probably, like, in today's society, there are so many apps and so many, like, this A. I. crap, you know, there's so many, like, tools out there where girls can morph their bodies or their face and edit the way that they look and and I was victim to it when Instagram came out, you know, I would look through Instagram and be like, oh my God, look how they look, what's my deal?

And, you know, when I was younger I had asthma, so I was on all this medication that made me gain weight, so I always was like a chunkier kid. And so in high school is when I like really started amping up tennis. My asthma was kind of on the back burner, like outgrew it. And so I was like able to like get in athletic shape, but I would scroll on TikTok and be like, Oh my God, look at her waist.

Look at this, look at that. And my biggest advice is like, now is for these girls. Like, don't compare yourself to what you see online because I'm 25. Dani is 26 and we can tell you right now, it is not what it's like. For instance, I'm not trying to throw anyone under the bus. I'm not going to name names. I live in Boston. I live in a building. I have, I'm not even going to say how many. I have influencers, women influencers, that live in this building. And they pop up on my TikTok, they pop up on my Instagram, and their waist is as big as my pinky finger. But I go to the gym and I see them. They do not look, their bodies do not look like their Instagram posts. And that's just the truth about it. And you have to don't compare yourself. Like, I'll look in the mirror some days and be like, Oh, I hate the way I look. Or I feel fat. You know, I've looked at Dani and be like, do I look fat in this?

Oh, I feel gross. I do it to my mom too. And when I'm having those days, instead of focusing on my body as a whole, I'll be like, what do I like about myself today? Oh, it could be something as small as, oh, my arms feel good today. Oh, I like my arms today. Oh, or like, oh my legs.

I feel, you know, just like little things, but like don't focus on yourself as a whole when you're having a bad day. And then my other advice is, you know, find friends that you can do like activities with. You know, it doesn't always have to be about like a big group or, you know, like going out crazy, like Dani said, a simple just game night, like, the other night, the other week Dani and I made homemade pizzas and drank bottles of wine and it was, like, the highlight of my month, like, it's just little things like that and I think it's so important for girls to create that foundation and be a girl's girl.

You know, find those friends that matter to you and stop thinking of quantity. Think of quality.

Host: That is all such good stuff. That advice, like, I'm no, literally,I'm snapping, like, over here. That was good stuff. Both of you, that was really, really great. I love hearing it, too, like, I'm taking all that to heart, definitely, and just like quality over quantity is so important. Finding the little things that bring you joy every day are so important,

Keeley Hardy: Like, be selfish. You have people in your life, but if you really think about it, like, this is about you, like every single person, like you're your own story, you're writing your own book, like, if you don't want to go out, go for a walk, like, do what you want to do and stop worrying about, and it's so much, it's so easier said than done, being like, do what you want to do, be selfish, because, like, you have other people in your ear saying, no, no, no, come on, you need to do this, or like society being like, oh, no, no, no, it's a Friday night, like, you have to go out. You don't. There's no law saying you have to go out.

Dani Hickman: And being selfish doesn't make you a bad person. I think that's something I never really fully understood. Like growing up, I was always like, okay, if you're selfish, you're a really bad person. And I realized that's not the case. Like, it's okay to be selfish because you prioritize you.

Keeley Hardy: Absolutely. And like, every book I've ever read, and my mom and my dad have always said this, is every person that is successful in this world, in every aspect, is the most selfish person. They put themselves first. And that is, like the most successful people are selfish. And I stand by that. And I think the word selfish has been, like misconstrued as like,

Dani Hickman: Like, it has a lot of negative con I can't say it in our commentations.

Keeley Hardy: Thank you. That's where I was going with it. Thank you. No, like being selfish is like, people take it as such like a negative term when in reality being selfish is the best thing that you can do for yourself. Like prioritizing every aspect of yourself is the best thing you can do for yourself. And it also like impacts your relationships, your friendships, you know, your family, everything. Like becoming the best version of yourself.

Host: I agree.

Keeley Hardy: Self, unselfish, go hand in hand, therefore, it's not a negative term.

Host: I think we're reclaiming the word selfish on this episode. I think we've done it here, like, selfish is a good thing and I totally agree with you guys on that, like, it's true. It's like, focusing on yourself is the most, is the best thing you can do to really like truly love yourself is paying attention to what you need rather than others.

So I love that you guys said that. So good. So just to end on a little, we have, I have a couple more to ask, but just to end on a little high note about what to look forward to in your twenties. I like, would love to hear you guy's thoughts. Like what's something younger girls can look forward to when you get older? Like what's the vibe?

Keeley Hardy: All right, so I thought we had to wait a couple of episodes for this.

Host: We'll talk more about that in another episode, but just a little taste.

Keeley Hardy: All the news. There's just so many new things that happen that, like, you don't expect. Like, there's so many new friendships, like, so many new people to meet, you know, new experiences, like you kind of create like, when you're in college and in high school, like, you associate your home as where your parents are.

But in your 20s, like you're building a home. So, like for me, I moved from Charleston, South Carolina, up to Boston, right? Didn't really know anyone. Like, I had some friends, but, you know, I've like created like a family. Like, I look at Dani's family up here. Like, her parents have taken me in. Like, I go to her house for dinner.

So it's, like, I think, you know, in your 20s, it's not about where your home is, it's about who your home is. Even when I go back and visit my parents, I love visiting them, but like, my life's not there anymore. My life is up here, and like, this is my home, and the people I surround myself with up here are my home.

And I think that's so important when you enter your 20s, is find a place where you feel confident and comfortable in turning it into a home. Because your home isn't your parents house anymore. It's what you make of your next like journey. Your next step.

Dani Hickman: And you got to write your own story. I mean, that's my favorite part about these years is when I was younger, it was you went to school, you went home, you did your homework. That was it. You went and played sports. You did that. You went to college. And then after college, it's like, okay, now what? Like, what am I doing with the rest of my life? And honestly, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing with the rest of my life, but that's okay. That's okay, and that's why we're here. That's the best part about living, is not knowing where your next, I don't know, next big idea is going to come, and I know Keeley and I are constantly thinking of random ideas, and like, thinking, oh, which one's going to be the million dollar one, and it's fun to have that freedom, and that freedom to really write your own story, and be able to do what you want to do and find out who you truly are.

Keeley Hardy: And you don't have a curfew. Like, it is Thursday. It is not a school night. And Dani and I are about to go out to dinner. Like, we are having ourselves a little night!

Dani Hickman: Tapa's night!

Host: I love that. That is such great things to look forward to and I just love all of your guy's thoughts and opinions and things you shared today. I really appreciate it. So just to close, I think I'm just curious, like, how do you think having the Valentina Campaign or even this podcast, like, would have helped you guys growing up, like, when you were younger? Do you have any thoughts?

Dani Hickman: I think hearing girls just be girls. I think nowadays it's the voices you're hearing are definitely more like influencers and people who really have their lives figured out. And you're not always hearing from girls who have no clue what the next step of their life is going to be and is figuring it out.

And honestly, that's the best part right now, is figuring out, okay, what's next for me and how can I be successful and be a better person? And I think that's so important is just being able to hear people talk about, it's okay to not know. It's okay to mess up. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to be, make mistakes. That's kind of part of life.

Keeley Hardy: Yeah, I agree. It's okay not to be okay. You go and scroll social media and it's like outfit of the day, my skincare routine, and you know, there's so many people out there that don't have that. I mean, I get up and I don't do my full 15-30 product skincare routine. Okay, like I'll wash my face with water and call it a day.

And I think, you know, if I was in high school now and I had access to this, I think it would really have like benefited me, benefited my like, mental health and well being, like, to stop comparing myself to people, but just to hear, like, other like taking away filters and just hearing like the raw truth, like, it is fine, like, you are okay, like, you are doing fine, like, stop comparing yourself.

I think that this concept and this platform is, like, once it takes off, it is going to frickin soar. I mean, I'm going to have a cow. It's going to take off and it's going to end up being incredible and it's going to help so many women.

You know, I bring it up to other people in Boston and my roommates and stuff, and they're like, oh my god, if I had this when I was in high school, it would have completely changed the game. And so,

Dani Hickman: Let's change the game.

Host: Woo! I'm so excited to hear you guys say that because it makes me excited for the future and, yeah, this is so awesome. I feel so, grateful and excited that you guys came on here and that you were so open and I appreciate it so much. So thank you both, Dani and Keeley, for coming on here today.

Dani Hickman: Thank you.

Host: Yes, of course.

Keeley Hardy: Thank you for having us!

Host: Yes, the Valentina Campaign! Yeah, I think that's going to conclude our episode for today. Everybody, thanks for watching, and we'll see you next week!