We need to process our own sadness instead of running from it. Don’t push friends to move past that grief. Feelings can build up from traumatic losses that aren’t discharged.
Helping Your Mourning Friend
- Don’t say “I know how you feel.” Everyone has a unique grief journey and healing process.
- Ask “What can I do to help now?” The bereaved may not have the energy to make a request. Instead of offering to share a meal any time, ask when you can dine together. See when and how you can help.
- They may feel worse a few months later than when the loss initially occurred. Check in a few months later. They need casseroles and love beyond the first few weeks.
- Grief changes over time.
- Take breaks from grief to find some happiness as the marathon of feelings continues.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Nurture your immune system.
- Exercise to elevate mood.
- Push yourself to be social.
- There is hope.
Sherry Cormier, PhD, is a psychologist, consultant and public speaker. Formerly on the faculty at the University of Tennessee and West Virginia University, she is the author of Counseling Strategies and Interventions for Professional Helpers (Pearson Education, 9th edition) and coauthor of Interviewing and Change Strategies for Helpers (Cengage Learning, 8th edition). She has co-written and co-produced more than 50 training videos for Cengage Learning. Her new book is Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief (Rowman & Littlefield.